To ask any other neurodivergent people?

I suspect that I am autistic/adhd and a teacher. I often come home and have a nap.

Ironically, even though I am using my voice, teaching means i can avoid the energy-draining social interactions that I found tough in an office. Still, I find it hard to speak to people by the end of the day.

Years ago (before kids), i used to go down the pub and drink far too much. At the time, I just thought that I was a pisshead. Now, I see that I was self-medicating. Walking the dog with a podcast or a run are much better options (although those pub years were fun!).

Be kind to yourself. If you fall asleep at the end of the day, it's because your body and brain need it.

I know exactly how you feel, I'm a teacher too and the constant demands are mentally draining. By the time I've got home and got my daughter to bed I'm running on empty. Sometimes I go to sleep when she does!
Don't feel bad, there's lots of us in the same boat! I recently read that teachers make more decisions per day than most other professions including pilots! If you can, financially, reduce your hours that would give you a bit of time back to decompress and do things you want.

Yes. Most definitely. I strongly urge you to accept that this is the way you are and do not under any circumstances berate yourself for any reason whatsoever.

Hello OP: I totally relate to this. Currently in an assessment pathway for autism. I went to Legoland with my son and another couple and their son on the hottest April day for 80 years in the UK and practically had an autistic meltdown at the end. Then I had a kind of “hangover” where I continued to feel dysregulated and tearful for like 3 days afterwards.

I am exhausted and spent after every evening with my son. It’s a bit of a nightmare TBH and I don’t know what the answer is.

Hi OP, I am ASD and have been a teacher and I was exactly as you describe: I would get home from work and would just not function. I'm much better now (completely different sort of job, mostly WFH, can flex my hours -- I am in a very specialist niche now) but I'm still completely fried by 3pm and can barely function and when I have to travel for work (quite often) it wipes me out for at least a week afterwards.

Practically speaking: in terms of exercise I have to do it before I do anything draining. I run -- I'm on my own, early in the morning, in silence (and in winter in the dark) and I find that regulating. Not for everyone, I know, but the only way I can consistently do it. I am, however, quite often in bed by 9pm (both because I'm fried by 3pm and because I get up super early to fit in a run).

As a PP said: we just have fewer spoons than some NT people. I'm older than you (50s) and am at a different life stage and therefore more at peace with it than I was. Sending solidarity.

Oh, and get your ferritin level checked. It's really common in ND people to have very low ferritin, and it causes fatigue. You may need to supplement iron (alongside vitamin C) to help.

I've always needed this. My DS thinks I am ND, he is ASD.

I slept for an hour after work today. I always slept as a child, then as a teenager after college lectures and I often needed a nap at work in my 20s.

I also think it's related to hypermobility, which in itself is a venn diagram crossover with ND.

Im like this and not adhd or autistic although my mum sister and brother are!
Now that im a mum i constantly just want to lie down and re charge in a quiet room but I can't and it makes me soooo tired

I understand completely. You are not lazy! Schools are super busy and noisy places where multiple demands are placed on you, questions, dealing with fall outs etc etc and it is not easy to find time for a break in the day. I think lots of us who work in schools need to lie down in a quiet room for a bit after.
I think people just can't understand what it's unless you are living it each day.

Yes. It’s like my brain just shuts down and I can’t function any more. And it’s getting worse, not better!

My autistic DC2 came home from school today and was asleep about an hour later.
Sometimes that's just what you need

Yes, I have ADHD and need a lot of downtime and rest. I feel like I've been chronically tired my whole life. But I've just started medication and I think even a small improvement could be life changing.

BTW I have had things like iron and thyroid checked, if you haven't it might be worth doing just in case.

Honestly I would try to find things that allow you time to recharge and just accept that about yourself. It's absolutely fine to need time alone so if you want exercise maybe try to build that in eg walking, running, weights or yoga at home? You don't have to exercise in a busy gym if that makes it harder for you.

Teaching is exhausting at the best of times.

i used to swim before work

I suspect I'm autistic and I get the kind of tiredness and feeling of overwhelm you describe. My social battery is often low even if it's not strictly social but people talking to you for work. I actually find solitary activities like exercise help me as it's more the time alone and not making and talking to people that I need rather than physical rest.

My job is different to yours but if you can somehow manage things so that it works better for you then do this. For me it we managing how people I use would contact me. I don't like being interrupted while I'm working so I'd carve out time to talk to people rather than just letting them call me and interrupt what I'm doing. I don't know if there's a way you can do this or just using any breaks you get to ensure you have time to yourself

When at home I find it helps me to have time to myself to workout, run, go for a walk, even just cooking or cleaning alone while listening to a podcast or music.

You sound like you could be on the brink of burnout. Can you take some time off? You might even need time off sick if it's that bad.

Are you not taking any ADHD meds? They help me so much during the day, I still need more downtime than the average person. I’ve learnt to make peace with this, it’s literally not our fault. I also remember that with the down days do come the up days. It’s a very hard balancing act though. Also all that external noise during the day will make it so much harder for you to regulate. Most evenings I will take myself off for a walk, listen to an audio book and take some deep breathes to regulate.

Yeah, that sounds like my life. I work all day and it smashes my brain. The best I can do in the evening is lie on the sofa. I’m in bed by 9 (often earlier). I think it’s pretty normal to have far fewer spoons than normal folks. I don’t have any idea how you fix it, I have just relaxed into accepting myself!