To want to move back to england with my 5 children

I agree. If the OP needs to leave her marriage, her best interests and that of her children will be into stay in Poland and separate there. It's the only legal way. So she needs to look at what support is available on Poland.

As an aside it is worth making all women aware of the Hague rules. Even if you are British, your children's father is British and all your children are British, if you emigrate you usually can't come home with your children to live without their fathers permission. Think very carefully before emigrating with children or if you're likely to have children.

But apparently it’s okay for posters to try to look like the good guys by telling her to pack up and come on over.

I hope the OP looks into it properly to weigh up the options and ensure she’s not ending up in any even worse situation

Unfortunately it isn’t about her history anyway, it’s about the children.

Living in a run down area of the Uk, with a troubled young man who is vulnerable to get caught up in crime and with no prospect of getting out of it is not okay.

The husband presumably let her come over here to give birth? So if she moved out to another part of Poland, she could have a decent life.

It is pointless arguing about benefits, taxation or the nationality of the OP and her children.

She can't bring her children back to the UK to live without their father's permission. It's against international law and she could potentially lose custody to their father if she tries. No matter what their nationality.

I don’t need to ‘look it up’ - how patronising.

I won’t need care or pension or anything like that when I’m older because I’m probably not going to live long enough if I have any say in it. I have disengaged from most medical services and have paid for any education post-16.

There’s a difference between ‘bashing’ someone and pointing out that it will be an expensive endeavour and not necessarily practical.

Unless you are an expert in international law, perhaps don’t advise the OP on what she should do

I’m sorry OP.

Such a tricky/shit situation.

I don’t have any practical advice regarding moving back to the U.K. but could you get involved in a hobby/activity in Poland? Even if it’s a coffee morning or floral arrangement in the local church? Just something to meet SOMEBODY and have adult conversation with. It sounds desperately lonely xx

Not everyone can be accepted into the army. And his issues are only a tiny drop in the ocean

Also if her son is getting into trouble, it is worth looking up violent crime stats against those of Poland. It seems like teens are stabbing/killing each other all the time - is that something you want to being a troubled young man into?

There are plenty of people here doing that. This needs to be balanced with hard truth and reality.

It's a fairy tale to think she can just come back to the UK with 6 children. People advising her to do that are cruel.

What she needs is practical support and advice from agencies that can help her get in a better place to extricate herself from her relationship. This is going to be extremely hard and will take years. There is no quick fix.

For goodness sake, being British doesn't override international law. She is also resident of another country, yet you believe your taxes should go to helping her and 6 kids come back to the UK. Things simply do not work like that, I suppose you could always set up a go fund me and donate yourself.

I massively believe in a safety net for anyone who falls on hard times, any decent functioning society should. But the situation OP is now in is very much one of her own making. This doesn't mean I am not sympathetic, but common sense must prevail. She really is stuck and no amount of sympathy on here can change that.

OP needs support and a plan - however long term. After her last post it is clear that her partner is a prehistoric prick who has kept her pretty much pregnant. But she must must find her sense of agency now, and at the very least access contraception.

I think this whole thread would be better served suggesting practical ways for her to navigate all this and improve some aspects of her life. one of the most pressing issues now seems to be her eldest son..

My thoughts exactly.

And potentially being stuck in some shitty B&B where all kinds of people hang around is going to make things worse for her and her kids

But it isn’t doing her any favours to sugar coat things. Her prospects of a decent life here are limited by her circumstances and she’s clearly unaware of this and that she may be in a worse situation than if she stayed in Europe

I have lots of sympathy for the OP for sure. But sympathy won’t get her any practical support. She cannot remove polish children from Poland without their father’s permission. Highlighting they were all born here might actually get her in trouble unless they went private.

The children speak polish as their first language, have never lived in the UK and they have no family support here unless his family are prepared to help. It’s a heartbreaking situation for sure, but it’s much more helpful to signpost places for help instead of suggesting she can just pack up and move here. There must be something like women’s aid in Poland and they must have connections to legal support to work out what options there actually are.

The best suggestion I saw on here is to encourage your 15 year old to consider military service. That solves one problem. Too many issues to tackle everything at the same time here.

It is really sad to work out the timeline here - I can see OP aged out of the care system and was left vulnerable for this older guy to literally keep her barefoot and pregnant for over a decade now.

Can you be a little more caring?

She was 18 and probably groomed by a much older man.
Passive because shes worn and down beaten
6 kids and no family or friends support.

Get that boy out of there. He can apply to the UK military at 15 & start at 16. He'll be safe & well looked after, many of us used the Army to escape "home" & it's a strategy that works really well. You can then start unraveling the rest of that mess 1 bit at a time.

Ive got a shock face at the female sterilisation.

OP you are so passive in your posts, blaming everyone else, not taking any responsibility for your own choices. You didn't have to keep on having children that you can't provide for.

You can't move back to the UK with the children, you just don't have the means to support them. You have no job, no accommodation and no right to remove them from their home country.

The life you are living now is the result of your own choices. Make better choices, make plans to stop having children, get a job and work hard to get yourself out of this relationship but not out of the country because you cannot, quite rightly, take 6 children to the UK without their father's permission.

Maybe - she could get a good one but she could end up with drug/alcohol users etc.

They did a year ago when my youngest DGC was born. DD saying they'd barely cut the cord when they were asking about contraception

But OP could find herself and her children in a far worse situation if she comes back

She's in UK giving birth so could've sorted then. Not rocket science.

And someone SA me as a child. You don't have to have to label yourself as a " victim" you know

Only because she nipped over to the UK to give birth.

Is she even going to be entitled to anything?

I empathise, believe it or not, but coming somewhere with hella expensive childcare, public services in ruin, lack of housing etc isn’t necessarily the best option.

Add potential issues with kidnapping accusations and not finding school places etc and it’s not the easy option everyone seems to think.

OP has accessed UK healthcare throughout so I am surprised she wasn’t given the opportunity for contraception after each birth (or do they not advise on that now)

you sound like a person who asks a SA victim what she was wearing

FYI Poland has less access to contraceptives than the UK. Contraception is not free and some methods need to be paid for privately. Her husband is clearly controlling so he may not have allowed that or refused to pay.

before you ask abortions are severely restricted and female sterilisation for contraception is not permitted

Long shot but would his family support you eith practical help to leave and come back over here? The children are their grandsons/nephews.