To want to move back to england with my 5 children

Yes, try to find some kind of women's aid type support..They might be able to suggest a way you can get out of your situstion. Be careful how you do it because he might get nastier if he works out what you might be planning. Work out exactly what you need to do and all the suppprt you can get and only when you are sure it's safe and you have support then you can leave. Fine out support in Poland and also contact support agencies in England. See what they say. They must have come across this situation a lot..

Definitely leave and come back to the UK. Especially if you're coming to Sheffield or area, we're a friendly lot.

I really hope you can’t just up your children’s lives and move them to Poland. As much as you want to be a big part of your children’s lives, so will he, and you shouldn’t be able to move them to another country just because you feel like it. If you genuinely believe he is a risk to your children, go to court and prove it. Also, how are you planning on supporting yourself in the UK as I assume you don’t work given how many children you, or if you do your role will be based in Poland

As mentioned above there’s a question about the habitual residency test for benefits, I’m not sure if she would have any right to benefits.

Im sorry about your situation. I think you should be focus on the kids and yourself. Your husband does not sound like a good partner and I doubt he can change. HOWEVER I do think you can build a happy life in Poland. You speak the language a bit, English speakers are in demand (you can train to become an English teacher, consider working in a private kindergarten etc - if you’re a native speaker and a mother you may find a place that is flexible about formal education), the benefits per child give you a decent sum to start with. You are English so naturally you are thinking about the UK but if you consider Poland today not just as a country your husband is from but a place in Europe where you can build a new life, that has forests, beautiful countryside cool cities and growing economy maybe that perspective can fill you with optimism.

see if you can get any formal qualifications online that could give you some or any job after your baby is born, find out and sort out the passports anyway, research what you’d be entitled for, basically get your ducks in a row to leave him but stay in the country at least for now.

Do you actually have any support in England?

You have 5 kids with this man, one less than a year old and a 6th on the way.
Unless he forced or coerced you into sex then he obviously can’t be that bad.

I think it’s quite a big deal to take 6 kids away from their parent to a completely different country.
Imagine if he wanted to do the same.

I don’t know what Poland is like for single parents but if you have no support in the UK, then I’d assume staying close to the dad so he can share custody and staying in a country that your kids know and have friends in etc would be better than moving to a different country.

Why not just separate instead of moving country?

Leaving him and going back to the UK isn't one action, you can leave him without leaving Poland.

Start by finding a local organisation for women's aid in Poland, you can start with phone consultation to understand the options and support available.

There will be child benefits, you will need the maintainance confirmed by the court to access additional benefits.

It's not "going home", but it might be easier to access support where you are (depending on your visa status) than dealing with "international abduction" as well.

I don’t even know where to start with this but I think if you do get back to the uk you need to have very large reality check about what life as a single parent with 6 kids and no family support is going to look like! And for the love of god, if you’re going to use our NHS will you get your tubes tied while you’re here??

It doesn't matter whether the children have British passports, British citizenship or were born here. They are still habitually resident in Poland and she cannot take them to live in the UK without their fathers consent. This would be the case even if both parents were British and the children had only British nationality. She needs proper legal advice.

When you went back to England to have your babies & register them-did you also take the other children with you?

Did you need his permission to go?

Is he on the birth certificates?

If things were Ok with your OH, would you want to stay in Poland?

I think you might have to look at separating in Poland to stay with your kids.

Say you manage to move, you will need to pass the habitual residency test to get any benefits. Do you have any money to support all of you till then?
you will not automatically be given a house, even if 4/5 beds were easily available, which they are not. It’s up to the council to decide if you have deliberately made yourself homeless. If they don’t think so you will be put in temporary housing, and it could take years to get a suitable property. You may be stuck in a B&B till then.
If they believe you have made yourself homeless they won’t help. do you have the savings in place to pay for private rent? It’s not as easy as just turning up here and getting housed. Many many families that are residents here cannot get social housing.

When you come back to the UK give birth why not have an extended stay? Tell your midwives & health visitor about your situation.
They are always there to help & can hopefully advise you on what to do. Best of luck. Your partner sounds like a chauvanistic man.

Please, please do not try to remove the children from Poland without legal advice. It's their place of habitual residence. The Hague Convention rules here. Something no-one ever seems to think or talk about when moving abroad. i know several people stuck abroad because they cannot leave the country with their children.

She can't move to England unless their father gives permission.

What official citizenships do the children have?
For anyone with official British citizenship, you now need to enter the UK on a British passport; you cant use a second citizenship passport.
It sounds like the older ones have British citizenship, so they’d need British passports.

I don't understand how all but one of your children were born in England when you have lived in Poland for so long. Do you return for the births? Will you be doing so for this one, in which case you could ask your midwives to support you to access advice here. Otherwise you're in a tricky situation and need decent legal advice.

I don’t think going back to the UK is possible atm, but it doesn’t mean you have to stay with him. The child benefit plus possible child maintenance will give you enough money to provide for your family. Start with reaching out to your friends and women’s organisations. Are you on spousal visa or do you have permanent residency?

Poland and the UK are both parties to the 1980 Hague Convention on Child Abduction. The children's habitual residence is Poland.

Removing the children from Poland (or keeping them in the UK) without the father's consent or a court order would generally count as wrongful removal under the Hague Convention. He could apply for their prompt return to Poland through the courts.

I know some of the people on here are well intentioned, but their advice is absolutely terrible.

Get some legal advice.

Gosh sorry to have missed that (no excuse but I was getting off the bus while reading).

Did you all come over when you had your children? Who did you stay with? Just wondering if there are other supports around.

Even if you can’t get to the UK immediately, there may be ways to leave him and move elsewhere in Polska

I know people are advising you to come back to England but how feasible is that actually for you with 6 children? Do they all have passports? Where would you live, how would you support your family?

Lets kick someone when she's down shall we?

She knows, you can tell that she knows there's no need to rub it in, the situation is what it is and she needs help.

I am not sure you can, it sounds like 4 of your children (soon to be 5) were born in Poland? Surely there are laws stopping parents from taking kids abroad?

Yes, also having six kids with a man you and your kids aren't happy with is...inexcusable.

I really think you need more specialist advice than Mumsnet AIBU OP.

Have you not read the posts pointing out that she may well go to jail if she tries this?

Are you planning to have this baby in the UK?

can you arrange for the kids to come so they can stay with and get to know family?

once you are over here it may be easier to contact women’s aid from here and not go back…the maternity unit will help.