To want to move back to england with my 5 children

My local hospital maternity department (and other departments must do too) sees people from various countries, but in maternity it is mostly Poland, doing this all the time. They just take a UK address and care for all comers.

I despair of the NHS as it is run now, a major overhaul if the system is well overdue.

How have you afforded the private care for all these deliveries where you briefly stayed in the UK? Because you would not have been eligible for NHS care.

Leave and come back to the UK.

Contact Women's Aid for advice.

Fully agree. Pissed me off, that. Has anyone asked the kids, do THEY want to move to the UK? A 15 year old? 11 year old? All their lives are in Poland, their family, their school(s), friends, their home. Or is it simply presumed the UK is somehow 'better' than Poland? In what way? Richer? I've been to both, and would choose Poland every time, so would many other people. Poland is doing perfectly alright, much better than the UK right now.

You don't get to have FIVE kids, 6th on the way, build their whole lives in Poland and then just unilaterally decide 'whoopsie, I miss 'home' and don't want to be here anymore'. Time for that was BEFORE the kids, not after. Years and years after. And what about their father? So ok, let's just take the kids from him, just like that. He can - what - come to the UK and visit? Live in the UK, whether he likes that or not?

I'm not from Poland, but from a country bordering it. There was exactly this kind of scenario, a couple of years ago. Local dad, Brit mum, 2 kids. She went on 'holiday' to the UK, enrolled the kids in school, rented a place, registered them with the GP, etc. Dad applied in court to get them back, as they were citizens and habitual residents of his country. The UK court returned them to the father. She lost custody. And being a citizen of a third-world country, it's not guaranteed she'll get the visa to visit easily. So proceed at your peril with all the 'advice' to go on 'holiday'.

Exactly and I'm not even sure it is allowed? When I returned to the Uk 25 years ago ( I am a British citizen ) after just a couple of years abroad and was pregnant within six months of returning to live in the Uk, I was questioned and had to fill out forms to show I was intending to stay etc and not just there to give birth. Sorry but I'm not quite sure I believe everything I'm reading here.

Just googled and EHIC covers it for emergency purposes so my guess is she claims she was over on holiday and didn’t expect to give birth so they don’t charge…

Definitely fraud unless there’s some sort of reciprocal agreement whereby the Polish government pays it but I doubt it.

Yes. The Embassy could be a starting point and the Haigue organisation people have mentioend.
They could at least put you in the way of finding some proper legal advice. There are a lot of people on this thread saying you won't be able to leave with the children etc... but you want REAL legal advice from someone who has information about your particular circumstances to find out if this is acurate or not.
Don't just accept that there is no way out of this. Do your research

Don't listen to people saying you could get charged with kidnapping. Its very unhelpful for people to write this as an assumption. Check the real facts by contacting real life organisations.

How on earth do you afford to have your kids here? Surely you don't qualify for the NHS treatment having never contributed?

Would you be eligible for benefits here having again not contributed? How would you survive with 6 kids to look after and no income?

Your OH sounds very typical of traditional Polish blokes. Not abusive but not very educated with ideas which went out of practice here in the 60's. Wifey at home, spewing out kids and doing everything for the home whilst he has free rein.

If you get all the kids here and move in with his family then he may be less difficult.

That’s not true. I live in Scotland and have a friend who is a midwife and she says she sees many women who have come from Poland for a few weeks for the sole purpose of giving birth. She says its not questioned.

Fully agree. Pissed me off, that. Has anyone asked the kids, do THEY want to move to the UK? A 15 year old? 11 year old? All their lives are in Poland, their family, their school(s), friends, their home. Or is it simply presumed the UK is somehow 'better' than Poland? In what way? Richer? I've been to both, and would choose Poland every time, so would many other people. Poland is doing perfectly alright, much better than the UK right now.

You don't get to have FIVE kids, 6th on the way, build their whole lives in Poland and then just unilaterally decide 'whoopsie, I miss 'home' and don't want to be here anymore'. Time for that was BEFORE the kids, not after. Years and years after. And what about their father? So ok, let's just take the kids from him, just like that. He can - what - come to the UK and visit? Live in the UK, whether he likes that or not?

I'm not from Poland, but from a country bordering it. There was exactly this kind of scenario, a couple of years ago. Local dad, Brit mum, 2 kids. She went on 'holiday' to the UK, enrolled the kids in school, rented a place, registered them with the GP, etc. Dad applied in court to get them back, as they were citizens and habitual residents of his country. The UK court returned them to the father. She lost custody. And being a citizen of a third-world country, it's not guaranteed she'll get the visa to visit easily. So proceed at your peril with all the 'advice' to go on 'holiday'.

I dont like how things are in my house anymore.

So separate and co-parent in Poland. You don't get to take his 6 kids to another country just because after many years together getting along okay apparently, you've suddenly decided you don't like your DP's attitude. It's good that you've 'woken up' to the situation and won't go on to have even more kids with a sexist man, but that doesn't give you the right to abscond with all the kids and move back 'home' to a country that isn't your kids' home and isn't even yours as much as Poland is now. I'm not sure I buy this innocent "I wasn't paying attention" take about coming back to give birth via the NHS in this very planned way then going back to Poland - to not know that was dodgy is wilfully naive at the very least.

People are jumping to your rescue on here because the assumption is abuse, but from what you've said, you've been all in until recently. He sounds like a dick, but so do plenty of men in England and plenty of women are okay with it. As I say, it's good that something has shifted to make you raise your standards, but that doesn't mean he's an abuser or that you get to move his kids overseas.

Practically speaking, get proper legal advice and look into how things would work if you stay in Poland and raise the kids there separated. If he's amenable and his family are on side, there may be a way to move everyone back here, but that won't be from a righteous moonlight flit like some of the posters seem to imagine. The DP has said pretty unpleasant things, shaved his child's hair and clashed with his teen son. That's nothing that warrants abducting six children. And in fact nothing does - you have to do things properly by your DC and the law.

You’re right @Pickledonion1999 . Just had a quick look. NHS treatment is based on residency so OP must be making false statements to be able to give birth in an NHS hospital free. Costs up to £14k a time according to maternity action and a lot more for a c-section. Any bills unpaid over £500 get reported to the Home Office. The NHS shouldn’t be there for lifestyle choices (get an interpreter in Poland) as over £80,000 worth of treatment all in at the expense of English taxpayers is taking the P a bit.

You may not be able to leave with your kids if they're Polish citizens.

A few people have asked why i come back to England to have the babies.

Part of it is honestly just because i feel more comfortable there. I do speak Polish but not fluently fluently if that makes sense. Day to day things are fine but when its medical stuff and youre frightened and in pain and people are talking quickly i find it much harder.

I can explain what i mean but i dont always understand everything being said back to me.

I know some people think its odd.

We normally come a few weeks before my due date and stay until the baby has the paperwork sorted and we can travel back. Thats always been the arrangement.

Im hoping we come earlier this time if we do come because i had pre-eclampsia before and then the baby came at 31 weeks last time which has made me really anxious about this pregnancy.

Im probably worrying too much but i keep thinking what if it happens again and im sat here waiting too long and then suddenly its an emergency.

As for how it all works, honestly i dont know all the ins and outs. My partner usually deals with a lot of the practical side of things and now im realising maybe i should have paid more attention to that than i did.

And for the people asking why not just separate and stay in Poland, thats probably what i need to look into.

I think maybe ive not explained myself very well.

Its not just that i miss England.

I dont like how things are in my house anymore.

I dont like my children growing up thinking boys cant cry.

I dont like my oldest and his dad screaming at each other every other day.

I dont like my 11 year old copying things his dad says and i definitely dont like hearing my 5 year old repeating them.

And i cant stop thinking about my 3 year old crying over his hair yesterday while his dad laughed and said it would grow back.

Maybe none of those things sound major on their own but when you put everything together it just feels like too much lately.

Sorry if that doesnt make much sense.

Yes. The Embassy could be a starting point and the Haigue organisation people have mentioend.
They could at least put you in the way of finding some proper legal advice. There are a lot of people on this thread saying you won't be able to leave with the children etc... but you want REAL legal advice from someone who has information about your particular circumstances to find out if this is acurate or not.
Don't just accept that there is no way out of this. Do your research

Don't listen to people saying you could get charged with kidnapping. Its very unhelpful for people to write this as an assumption. Check the real facts by contacting real life organisations.

You are not the first person to be in a situation like this and won’t be the last. You need proper legal advice. I had a quick search and found Rights of Women (rightsofwomen.org.uk) who seem to offer free legal advice to women and would be a good first call. Reunite International (reunite.org, 0116 255 6234) say they specialise in cross-border family situations specifically.

You grew up without a safety net and built a whole life, learned a language and raised five children largely on your own strength. You are not mad for wanting something better.