To want to move back to england with my 5 children

But she can't move anywhere abroad unless he agrees. I also can't see how it would be beneficial to go to a brand new country where potentially none of them would speak the language.

I know people are trying to help but some of the suggestions are not helpful to the OP 😞
When the man who is meant to love and protect you emotionally abuses you and you're trapped in a country where you don't necessarily want to be but are there for that mean, it's horrible. Someone in this situation wouldn't have the mental capacity to start in a brand new country, and with 6 kids.

Oh OP I'm so sorry. Ignore anyone who says you are being melodramatic. Postpartum depression can stem from feeling powerless and like everyone around you ignored your feelings. Take back control. As PPs have said start preparing for an exit, even if you don't go you will feel more in control of your life. Go back to the UK to have your baby with everything ready to go so you don't have to go back to Poland, and then decide what to do when there - you could seek help and explain your situation and try to stay in the UK, or go back to Poland. When you are in front of the authorities, charities etc in the UK you have the best chance of remaining. As PPs have said also prepare for your separated life in Poland - ensure all child benefits etc are paid to you, that you know how to get support with housing, what the legalities are around separated parents in Poland. This info gathering may also help you in making your decision - if eg you found that fathers generally get custody of the kids in Poland you may want to take them back to UK.

Alternatively do you have Polish residency? If so do you have the right to move anywhere in Europe? If so perhaps in time you could seek to move elsewhere- but with six ery young children that doesn't feel immediately practical. However could be a good future option to get further away from partner whilst not going all the way back to the UK.

I know this sounds obvious but have you tried having a proper sit down heart to heart with your DH?

Thank you for your kind post.
I'll never get through it as it's been going on for years. It's horrible. I just want us all to move but it won't happen.
There's no happy ending 😞

I think your choice is either to try and make it work as a single parent in Poland, which is probably the right thing to do for your DC who have grown up there and are enrolled in school there. I’m also thinking of the 15 yo who will surely be undertaking a version of GCSEs soon. If you upped and left this year, he’d be thrown into year 11 and forced to sit exams in Macbeth and the American West or whatever, he’d likely have zero clue what was going on and probably fail. It isn’t the right choice for him. You need to start researching the practicalities of single parenthood over there. Ask chat GPT if stuck, it can be enormously useful.

Or you return here for the birth and stay but as many others have said, he has every right to demand they’re returned to Poland and you risk losing custody entirely.

She can if the childrens' father agrees to the move but it will be hsrd to settle with 6 children and no income. But of course she can being British.

The older children might not consider UK to be home or easily fit into education. I would be careful to move older children if they consider themselves more Polish than British. And settled into pne school system. Or it will not ebe an easy move and if no stable housing or stable income for a family of 7 persons it can be even hardere.

Hello I've read through this and think you should leave , however I don't think it's as easy as come back to England as others have said. This chap your with sounds like a true piece of shit.
Aside from that I read your post and thought practically what can this lady do?!
My thoughts are this
Set up a set up a separate polish bank account in your name

Go speak to the polish equivalent of citizens / department for advice / social suppport.what can you do to get somewhere to live etc

Then googling tells me you get hefty child benefits in poland starting school payouts and working supoort are these paid to you? If so start putting in your new bank account.
Start selling anything you can to put money away in new secret bank account.

Get all relevant documents you need for the kids and your self in one pack/ folder then hide them somewhere only you can get them.

Make bags up of essentials you'll need to leave slowly and hide them in plain site like laundry bags etc. or whatever you think is best.

When you have given birth to your daughter make sure you have another house place to stay lined up. Potentially ready for Nov/ Dec.

Then when he's at work keep the older kids of school but put the younger ones in nursery and your all going to leave together the older ones can help you carry belongings and your going to go to the new place . Your going to tell nursery about dad's behaviour shaving head is emotional abuse .dad is not allowed to collect for the moment.

Tell the older kids school the dad's behaviour it's abuse .

Wait untill your baby is old enough for you to get state subsidies nursery support ( it's very good in poland) and get a job it'll do you wonders .

You need to get contraception. Children are wonderful and a blessing but six is a lot to manage -7-8-9-10 isn't something that's going to do you any good.

Then get your kids some support and therapy there's a reason why the oldest is so angry.

That all may sound impossible but it's what I did ( in England granted) 12 years ago when I left my dds scumbag dad.

I have one question though how do you walk into a hospital in England and just give birth ,all your midwife stuffs in Poland?

I hope you find your power

I don’t think she has one. She said she grew up in care. Finding housing and work as a mum of six kids is no mean feat.
While the OP was born and raised in the UK, I’d class the kids as Polish. Polish will be their first language, they have lived there their whole lives and all their friends are there. They are basically like any kid over here who happens to have a foreign parent.

God bless our wonderful NHS then who will treat anyone without question because its the right thing to do. Your lucky they haven't sent you a bill for each child you weren't a resident here for and your not thousands in debt OP.

Yeah they won’t be interested. OP needs to contact a lawyer in Poland and maybe the equivalent of Women’s Aid over there. WA in the UK can’t really help her. While her husband’s behaviour might amount to coercive control if she is frightened of him, it’s unlikely this is something where the Polish police would get involved.

The idea that she can come over for a few months, stick the kids in school in the UK and then just stay is also nonsense. If she misleads her husband it would still be abduction if she goes and then refuses to come back. Plus where would they live, what schools would take them, how would OP support herself? So many questions. Plus I doubt that the children want to move to the UK. It’s quite an upheaval.

Op is British, I assume, as are her children so why wouldn't they be welcome to use the NHS and re-establish themselves there?
Op will need support and will need to find housing and work.
Why can't she stay near her UK family?

It makes sense for the best outcomes for her children that they keep and build a connection to their birth country.

In my experience British embassies are worse than useless, unless you die or you need a document stamped for which you need to pay an extortionate fee.

Giving birth in Poland is safe!

Please see your GP if you need to as no one should feel like this. He sounds like he is emotionally abusing you. Have a look at the freedom programme. You are not a disappointment they are abusive as a family.

I have major depression which was made far worse by my ex husband’s treatment of me. Anti depressants really helped me to see it was him not me who was abusive. I felt like such a bad person as he and his family told me this.

You will get through this - look after yourself. 💐💐

No one is perfect that is true. I have made many mistakes in my own life. However OP is not responsible for the state of the NHS. She and all women deserve to have their babies safely.

She has reached out here for support and some posters have focused and shifted this to be about the NHS and benefits. Let’s keep it on supporting her and not berating her for institutional and government problems.

When you have lived abroad as a British person the day you return to live in the uk you are eligible for NHS treatment. Would people rather see a pregnant woman left without treatment?

OP and any other woman in her situation needs support to improve hers and her children’s lives not criticism for past choices.

It is awful - it costs NHS thousands for one normal birth so for people to come over and expect to use the facilities for free is terrible.

I know you have the best intentions but it doesn't sound like her husband would be keen to stay any longer than absolutely necessary. And legally, she has no legs to stand on unfortunately.

Enrol into where? Live where? Support a large family how exactly?

Tell DH that you are likely to have an early baby again.

Put forward that you want your children to see his frail mother. Find reasons to make sure that all the kids go back to England for the birth. While there, sort out a passport for the last, Polish born, son.

Make certain that your oldest remains there in school.
Stay as long as you can and enrol the others in school. Your husband will agee to them learning English and helping their grandmother. Staying for one year could be beneficial and offer you time to think.

Thank you.
He's nonviolent but he can be really not nice mentally to me. But when he's caring, he's the best person.
The issue is that his mum doesn't like me and says things about me, he believes everything and blames me. As horrible as it sounds, once his parents are much older, he'll probably be less influenced. But I'm a disappointment and not the DIL she wanted and he never lets me tell my side of the story. A compromise would be to love somewhere a couple of hours away but he says he wants to be near them.
Part of me wishes I just died but the kids need me.

She needs support not questioning about her use of the NHS or benefits she hasn’t even claimed yet!

Except every time she gives birth she comes back to the UK and does it on the NHS despite potentially not doing it with full disclosure.

It is possible to feel empathy for a situation while also acknowledging that the OP may not be perfect.

Big hug from me @Oppositesituation Please take care of yourself and your kids. Stay safe and play along with your husband if you need to. Whilst building your emergency fund and getting as much support as you can.

💐💐💐

OP, I'm sending you the biggest hugs because I'm in the opposite situation....
I'm from the EU, my husband is British and I'm so upset with how he's been with me. I want to move back to my home country with our two kids but it's not possible unless the other parent agrees.

Get all the kids' passports in order.

Plan to leave in time to start the school year and plan to give birth in England again.
Surely your husband will agree to you all going back to your family for support until the new baby is a few months old.

Commit (in your mind) to staying longer for your eldest child's education IF he goes to school and does well.
Then look at universities, apprenticeships and training in either country for his future.

It's time both you and your husband put your children's futures foremost. You might end up in Poland but the kids need to learn English too and be proberly educated so to get good jobs and work hard. There are many opportunities in both countries for when the kids are adults.

Dear OP please ignore the negative posts. There are many of us on here who feel sympathy and empathy for your position.

I was stuck in a Gulf region country and am now back in the UK. It took me 5 years to be able to move back but I did. So see this as a long term project.

As I said in my earlier post take one step at a time. Step one stay safe. Priorities your own health. Your kids need you as the sane parent. Get your treatment and the best care you can for your current pregnancy. Does your partner insist on being at all your appointments? Can you talk to your doctors about contraception for as soon as you give birth perhaps with a slant on a need to protect your health after so many pregnancies and previous preeclampsia? Would you be able to get your tubes tied when you give birth?

You must be exhausted and scared. I know and wish I could give you a big hug.

Once you have your baby and your contraception sorted you can start to build on your own health. Again start with small steps. Get as much rest as you can (really difficult with small kids I know). Eat as healthy as you can. Can you get the other little ones into some day care in Poland to help with this?

And for now this is probably enough. Once you are feeling stronger you can will feel better able to support all your kids. And maybe start looking for work but that is further down the line.

Step 2 start saving any money you can as an emergency fund. Every little helps if you can.

Step 3 get support now where you live. Some posters have offered to look for you. Can you find mum and baby groups you could attend? Again this is for you and your own mental health.

To other posters please be gentle with OP. She needs support not questioning about her use of the NHS or benefits she hasn’t even claimed yet!

Big hugs OP stay strong- your kids have a great mum who loves and cares for them.