AIBU to think one day’s leave for a far-away funeral is harsh?

I’m sorry for your loss.

I think that two weeks leave for the lids on an in-law is generous and that your form is being reasonable.

We get 2 days compassionate leave for ‘direct’ family - so parent, sibling or child only. So that would be a day when they die, and a day for the funeral. In practice directors will normally approve a day for Grandparents or in laws funeral

My colleague took 10 days off for his girlfriend’s brother’s girlfriend’s hospice death.

Paid. His girlfriend was our boss. It wasn’t worth it when the MD found out.

Not an hour off for the self-employed. which he is now.

Could be worse, OP. I’d take two days AL.

I got two days compassionate leave when my dad died.

I got a week when dad passed and 1 day for the funeral

I’d say the day is fine for extended family if you need more take leave.

For a partner / your own parent / child I’d expect longer.

I think that’s okay. Just take the AL to drive home the next day. Dh is self employed and doesn’t even get that, just has to lose a day of work and pay as no compassionate or annual leave.

I think it is harsh. But it may well be the norm, I have no idea.

I've always worked in the public sector and compassionate leave is usually max 3 or 5 days and that's usually immediate family only. Most people do take longer for a bereavement of course, but usually it is taken as sick leave (ie depression). For anyone outside of immediate family any time off would be annual leave, though it would always be granted, whereas ordinarily short notice leave wouldn't be.
It isn't good but it's public money, I can understand that there needs to be rules about it.

It’s rubbish. I had to swap shifts to be able to attend my grandmother’s funeral! Only stretches to spouses, parents and siblings, not grandparents!!

When my father in law died, he was living with us, my husband was providing care. I got no paid time off for his funeral, had to take annual leave. Funeral days were given only for spouses, parents and children. Fortunately I don’t work there anymore.

😲WTF?!@FortyFacedFuckers

For a mil?? Wow.

In the NHS we’d have to take it as holiday, we only get a maximum of 5 days leave for an immediate relative and 2 weeks for a child. The rest would be (and often is) taken as sick signed off by a GP.

Pretty standard, I'm afraid. Sorry for your loss, OP. 💐

For your mother in law? How many do you have!

Seriously though sorry for your loss. My employer has good benefits but mother in law wouldn't be considered close enough I don't think.

I’m fond of my MIL too, but I wouldn’t expect more than a days paid leave in this instance. (I know a woman who got a sick line for 6 weeks when her MIL died; absolute chancer…) If it’s that important to you, take holidays, but it’s certainly not unreasonable of your employer.

Hang on though, I got a few days compassionate leave around the time she was dying and a day after she died, that's not what we're talking about though - funerals are usually 2 weeks or so later.

For my own Mothers funeral we drove up the night before, straight from work, and left straight after the wake, getting home late. Back to work the next day. It's pretty standard I'm afraid. Take a day's leave if you want more time. Sorry for your loss.

I'd expect no more than 1 day paid compassionate/funeral leave for an in-law (or other non immediate family), up to 5 days for close family (with anything more needed to be taken as sick leave if too distressed to return). That's pretty much been policy everywhere I've worked.

I get 2 hours, I only get a day if it’s a parent/child/spouse

It may seem unfair, but if they let you have a few days for your MIL, what about Bob whose neighbour-good friend died, can he have the same? And Jenny who grew up next door to the dog sitter? Not forgetting Clare as her dad died but she only gets the same as the others.

A clear policy has to be set for the sake of everyone, and messing round the edges is unhelpful and unfair.

That said, what you may quietly agree between you and your manager that nobody else knows and what isn't formally recorded is a whole other story.

AgnesX
I was given the standard two days for my mother's funeral. My mother's funeral...Despite this being policy my manager's comment was "since you had two days for your father's..." (this was three years previously).
Miserable shower of shits.

Sorry to hear that, that’s awful x A friend had similar and we had to talk her out of marching back in and quitting (she loved her job).

op use some leave if you can so you’re not just travelling down and straight back x

I was given the standard two days for my mother's funeral. My mother's funeral... Despite this being policy my manager's comment was "since you had two days for your father's..." (this was three years previously).

Miserable shower of shits.

@fairypowersits not ideal but also not the. Implants fault you live 7 hours away. What if she lived in Australia - they wouldn’t be giving you a week off to fly over.

that said, a bit of manager digression would be nice. Gone are those days. Sorry for your loss xxx