Boy 'accidentaly' touching my daughter at school

First post? Daughter needs self defence classes.

What a world we're living in.

Yeah you need to go fully nuclear on this.

This happened to my child whilst in primary school. The behaviour was happening repeatedly and also to other children. The child would touch the other children’s bum and try to touch their privates and also try to kiss them. Numerous parents complained but we were always told “it was just an accident” or that they “don’t understand what they’re doing”.
In the end, I arranged another meeting with the head teacher and explained in no uncertain terms that this was assault and that I would be taking it further and contacting the police as they were doing nothing about the behaviour. I contacted them, the police agreed with me it was unacceptable and visited both the school and the child’s parents. It stopped after that and then the child was removed from the school by the parents. Keep fighting this because the school need to take this seriously and act accordingly. It’s disgusting that they are not.

Your poor daughter. This happened to me at her age. It was an awful experience.

I ended up punching him in the face. I'll never forget the vice principal who stood up for me after it happened. She was wonderful. Your daughter's teachers are letting her down and need a kick up the arse.

In the meantime, tell her to be loud and call him out. If that doesn't work, deck him.

This is sexual assault and a police matter but it needs to be dealt with sensitively. I'd cut the school out of the loop and contact the police to ask about the options open to your poor daughter.

I'm guessing that the school is thinking your DD and this boy are in Y6, so they just need to delaying anything until the end of the school year and the problem will no longer be theirs. Don't let them!

A boy in my son's school was doing this from the same age and carried on throughout high school as there wasn't enough done to protect the girls. At 18 he was arrested for sexually assaulting random women. He spent a short time in prison before being released. He remains on the sex offenders register. Recently he has been seen swimming in the local council swimming pool where there are mixed changing rooms. He won't have changed. Protect your daughter in any way you can.

Absolutely agree with this and what I was going to advise.

Your poor DD. Being made to feel someone SA her is “accidental” 🤬

This fucking male entitlement to touch a female as they wish starts young.

I would be apoplectic in your shoes OP.

I am sick to death of all of this being played down by society in general.

This boy needs horse whipping. I am so angry on behalf of our daughters having to navigate this. So many secondary schools are now rife with sexual harassment, even assault. It is getting worse too.

OP, take this to the end, inform the police and report the school. They are underplaying it because it suits them to not protect girls.

Keep on at the school, they are clearly downplaying this because they don’t want the hassle!
And tell your daughter to use her voice…….I know she shouldn’t have to but when he touches her she is quite at liberty to tell him firmly and assertively to keep his hands to himself! Encourage her to practice at home to instil confidence!

Make sure you have everything in writing. Involve the Safeguarding lead, the Head and the governors. I’m usually loath to get stroppy with school, but this is serious. There is no point us teaching our children, particularly girls, nobody is allowed to touch them without their consent, if the school continues to ignore this kind of behaviour.

Complain in writing, this is a safeguarding issue and they have failed to safeguard your child. There is statutory guidance that school should be following for child on child sexual violence and harassment. Pg 112. The school and local authority should have a policy. Look on the school's website under policies.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/68add931969253904d155860/Keeping_children_safe_in_education_from_1_September_2025.pdf

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/69fb1c28d0e316a40f269a5b/Working_together_to_safeguard_children_2026_a_guide_to_multi_agency_working.pdf

I would also report to the police, if he is year 6 he is above the age of criminal responsibility and old enough to know that it is unacceptable behaviour. It will encourage a multi-agency response. Have your timeline ready like @Dolphinnoises suggested for when you speak with them listing what happened when and what you have done so far to try and deal with it. Explain to your daughter that they will likely want to talk with her.

How.is she feeling? Is she scared of him? If she feels unsafe i think i would keep my daughter out of school tomorrow write formal emails to school, governors, trust etc tonight and say that she won"t be coming back until they can assure you that she is completely safe from this boy and he has been dealt with and his parents are aware. If they don't respond or their response is not acceptable then it's police.

Jesus. Sorry that's now part of your job! How did this all get so bad that you had to do that?

Internet I presume.

Also cc in the Head and the Board of Governors and stipulate when you want a written response by.

All the things everyone else said. The school need to be keeping your dd safe, even if that means constant supervision of the sex pest boy. I work in a secondary school and have had to follow students on trips to ensure they don't assault another student.

They’re leaving school soon so it’s a bit late but I would have insisted they put her in a different class.

Another one saying you’ll inform the police if steps are not immediately taken to deal with him - and mean it. Your dd needs to know and understand that nobody touches her body unless she wants them to.

Totally agree with this, have a look at Krav Maga 'balls nose nose'! I did this on a self defense course and they said to shout loud 'get the F**k away' so there is not doubt in anyones mind that you are not messing about and then a swift kick to the balls followed by two palms into the nose.

It's totally unacceptable and I would make sure the school deal with it or I'd be calling the police.

DD had this and eventually pushed him over and kicked him when he was down on the floor. He was utterly humiliated and she got in trouble but he left her alone after that. It is horrendous that schools allow this and "boys will be boys" is still prevalent. The little shit who targeted DD started the second her DB left for secondary and knew exactly what he was doing.

You're definitely under reacting. I'd be telling the school you will be informing the police and do it.

My DS is told the same. Hasn't stopped him receiving detentions, isolation and a suspension for defending himself from aggression though. Whilst the other kids are barely punished. Some have different rules. Its crazy.

I agree with coaching her to be loud and public. Sexual harrassers use our shame against us. "Don't touch me again! You've been told before!" Also escalate, escalate.

Jesus, if nobody stops him now, he's going to be in prison down the line.
The school, the parents need to teach him about consent. Fast.

Unacceptable. Tell the school you WILL be informing the police if your daughter is not protected. Also,look at self defence/martial arts classes, my DGD does this and nobody messes with her