Boy 'accidentaly' touching my daughter at school

100% this.

Police, police, police. Not oh give the school a chance to sort it, no start putting things in writing, send an email etc etc.

While that's being fannied around with, the OPs daughter still has to go to school and face god knows what from this boy. Who knows when he may try to escalate things?

Police OP, keep your daughter off, contact useless school and tell them while you are starting the procedural stuff like official letters, governors etc the police are now involved as this is about sexual assault.

And add in the meantime she won't be going near that useless school unless there is a member of staff constantly watching that little scrote like a fucking hawk from the moment he goes through the gates till the moment he leaves.

This is so accurate! I initially went to school to inform them that a boy was “throttling” my reception aged DD. A few weeks later I had to collect her from school with a head full of blood because he stabbed her multiple times with a handful of sharp pencils on the head! We were then the bad guys for kicking up a fuss and nothing whatsoever happened to the perpetrator!

This.
honestly it’s utterly shocking!!

I did an online referral to social services when my daughter was assaulted at school and school were dragging their heels. Social services got back to me to let me know said child was already known to them and they are investigating.

This is what abusers do they test boundaries. Take this further and tell the school if he touches your daughter again the police will be called . Send out a message because if you don’t others will see your daughter as an easy target . Send an E mail and get a paper trail going as evidence.

Thank heavens. for your dalughter's sake, you are taking this seriously. It is not accidental and it needs to stop now. Inform the police and all the school governors, stressing that the head teacher is labelling it as 'accidental' and has taken no steps to stop it.
Totally disgraceful on the part of the school, you need to escalate this immediately. Ask the governors for a copy of the school's safeguarding policy and then highlight to them what has not been done.

Typical secondary school, they want to ignore it and sweep it away. You'll have to take it further unfortunately. Ask for a meeting with the headteacher and make it clear you will go further if nothing is done (police, local authoroity, etc).

This is awful for you daughter (or any child) and this boy could become a very serious risk to others if nothing is done. I'm very sorry that you're both going through this.

The boy is a deviant in the making
Op daughter doesnt go to school to be touched.
Doesn't matter if he's issues his behaviour is causing distress to a 11yr old girl .

Straight to the DSL and cc in the Governor responsible for safeguarding. I’d want a meeting, next steps in writing and then make it clear that I plan to escalate with a single repeating episode. Zero tolerance does apply here for me.

It is sexual assault . If the boy is over 10 then I believe he is above the age of criminal responsibility. Unless he has very severe learning difficulties which mean he does not understand boundaries then he knows exactly what he is doing. I would be contacting your local police and asking to speak to an officer who specialises in child protection and sexual offences.

Bizarrely, my experience is that schools are like the Wild West, and behaviour which would bring a criminal conviction of assault in real life, are allowed to continue, often with the perpetrator being labelled as the victim somehow!

Yes yes yes log this with the police now.

Your daughter needs to know and see that you are doing everything to protect her. If you err on the side of caution it should be for over reporting rather than under reporting.

Reporting to the police is a must regardless of the school’s actions as a repeated offences have taken place, as in exactly as you say if it happens in a work place it would be reportable. I also say this in case the school decides to penalise your daughter or somehow convinces her to keep it quiet even from you. Just like some HR in the workplace schools maybe more concerned with their reputation rather than the children…I’ve hear some poor handling of bullying over the years.

Your priority is your child. She’s confided in you many times of physical abuse and if you have asked the school to act many times. Now she and quite frankly all abused children need to see that their parents acts for them instead of worrying about perceptions of anyone else. Preventive is always best and all!

I would just escalate it now, they've had a year and done FA.

Yabu for not doing more about this!!

A year?! Ffs, I would have reported it to the police/the governors/formal complaint by now.

This, but with a very short time limit for their response. They can fuck around for ages and say they're taking action. Use the phrase sexual assault, because that's what it is. That, and the word police should make them sit up and take notice.

I see your DD is in Year 6 - are they hoping to ride this one out? Don't let them. It's important that your DD knows you have her back.

Write a strongly worded email to the head teacher laying out all the facts and say if action is not taken you will involve the police as it is sexual assault as she has not consented to being touched.

I would give the school one week to sort it. If they don't then go to the police.

Go into school tomorrow and kick off, if you don’t stand up for your daughter now she’ll accept poor behaviour from men, also someone needs to correct this boy!

I would raise it one more time with school, in writing to DSL, but make it very clear that you will be making a formal complaint and involving the police if they continue to allow your daughter to be sexually assaulted in their care.

Once is an accident. Several times is predatory. I would write down a list of every date, time and what happened. Record keeping is important. I would report it to the police as well. You priority is to safeguard your child. Id probably remove her for the rest if the school year. You'll never forgive yourself if you leave her there and more of the same happens.

It would be the most effective way, but counter productive due to consequences.

Nope. Terrible way to handle it.

He’s not ten, he’s eleven. And have you forgotten that his victim is the same age and beginning puberty? No-one is labelling anything. It is sexual assault. It’s deliberate and repeated. How else would you describe it ? Age 10 is when criminal responsibility kicks in. No-one is suggesting sending the boy to jail, but a word from the police may be all that’s needed to stop him if the consequences are properly explained. This is unwanted touching that is clearly causing DD some distress - and it’s targeted. Just one boy. So how long do you suggest OP let it go on ? Until his hormones get the better of him and he attempts to rape her ?

Y6 teacher and safeguarding lead here. If you emailed me with what had been happening, I’d go absolutely apeshit.

This is totally unacceptable. It is sexual assault and I’d be hauling in the boy’s parents to tell them exactly what he’d been doing. Once or twice maybe accidental. More than that? Nah. Thats deliberate and I’d come down very hard on him.

Your DD deserves to feel safe and heard especially in her last few weeks of primary school.

Definitely kick up an almighty fuss with the school.

I hate the ‘boys will be boys’ bullshit. I’m having none of that in my school.

Report it to the police. The school haven’t sorted it, so now onto the police. Your daughter should not have to put up with this. It’s not an over reaction it’s sexual assault. Police now.