To be disappointed with how soft play handled this man

You are right he could have just laughed: that was probably the best response.

But I still don't think it is the same as shouting out nice tits at someone minding their own business.

This was a near collision of bottom and face.

I agree the comment would be deeply inappropriate for someone who should have been prepared for the encounter, like a gynaecologist for example. But when taken off-guard we can react less than ideally. I think many people would have become cross and unfriendly. I probably would have if some bloke nearly caused me to face-plant in his butt.

Under what circumstances would op be shoving her arse into strange men’s faces in a school reception area?

It's hilarious that, on Mumsnet, you're asking a woman what her husband thinks, as though his opinion matters more.

But I've already made it clear I don't spend time with people who think making unsolicited sexual comments to complete strangers (as opposed to solicited, amongst friends) is an appropriate thing to do, so I don't know why you're asking.

I suppose if she'd tripped (totally accidentally), and fallen on him, and her breasts had touched his face in the process, he'd be entitled in your opinion to make a joke about enjoying motorboating her?

@takealettermsjones so what about the school reception area scenario, would that be okay?

Why would you need to explain it? Come on, people are bending over backwards to find issues with this now. I cannot imagine that any of the children I know would even register or care what a grown up was saying to another grown up when they've got an entire soft play arena to focus on.

@Calliopespa or you could just laugh or accept the apology.

I bet many a man has used the excuse ‘I thought it would make her feel better’ when using sexual banter. Not understanding why a woman would be offended if he shouted nice tits’ at her when she walked past, surely she should feel happy that he noticed them and complimented them.

Well I guess there are two ways you can approach a bum: sexual or functional/toileting.

If forced to choose - and admittedly it isn't a great choice - I'd probably rather mine was received that way, once it was being waved near a face.

There’ll be hordes of us right behind you 😁

she accidentally put her arse on (or near – OP doesn't seem to have been specific) his head, and immediately apologised for doing so.

😂The Apologist.

This thread just keeps giving!

@Calliopespa interesting that his immediate reaction had sexual undertone though

How would someone explain that joke to a young child, bearing in mind it was said in a soft play area.

If say there were a number of parents and children in school reception area. A man was knelt down at child’s level and a woman accidentally bumped into him so face and bottom were at same level. Woman apologised, he replied with ‘I normally have to pay good money for that’. Would that be okay? His excuse being it would make her feel better.

Yes, of course. But he was taken unawares. Do you have your "Bum in the Face Quip" ready to deploy?

What is hilarious?

What's his take?

You’re done, I think that’s wize!

92% of people are not going to change their thoughts to appease you.

Your posts are OTT, ridiculous and your own rules don’t seem to apply to you, only to us “dick pleasers” as you call Us!

Well, no one likes sleazy men, but that was obviously meant as joke in an awkward situation.

He might not have liked a random arse in his face, but was making light of it. .

There seems to be a bit of a sense of humour failure, with trivial incidents, around at times. 🙄

Why would it make a woman feel better by a man saying something that has sexual undertone? Could he not have said something without that undertone

What's your husband's take on this?

This is absolutely hilarious.

'Good faith', my arse (hah).

You summed up beautifully what I was going to say.
Poor bloke trying to make her feel better, most people (92% it seems) would have had a bit of banter back or just laughed and moved on.

A take on this, alternative to yours, isn't patently ridiculous. You are unable to view anything outside of your linear vision. You also seem to be entirely lacking in understanding nuance.

I do think, for someone with such a take as yours and OP's, there lies blame with OP. I think you have both made inferences where they did not exist.

Why is it unlikely the bloke has been sexually harassed in the past? Why so dismissive? The amount of blokes who have been sexually harassed is significant. Speak to them - most have got stories.

As for accidentally putting her arse in his face, that's simply not good enough if she's going to be the type to make negative assumptions about men. She has treated soft-play as a women's-only environment where she does not need to be considerate about her body positioning. Would she have been more careful climbing down the ladder, had it been expected every other parent in there was a bloke? Probably. That suggests she took liberties with assuming that the space was hers / women's.

I think you're going a bit far to think he was implying he got sexual gratification from her. It was a joke on the situation, not his personal feelings. That joke could have been made to any person with any arse - that man is not going to find every person and every arse sexually gratifying.

I am absolutely discussing in good faith. I think your mind needs broadening. Your approach is far too simplistic.

As for catcalls - that is something completely different. You're inability to differentiate is a huge part of the problem, here.

What's your husband's take on this?

oh my goodness what a massive over reaction. it was a poor joke. Get over yourself.

I actually assume he would have but then I'm in the camp of being able to make jokes like this without their being any ill-intent behind them.

This is patently ridiculous.

You seem to be trying to imply she deliberately assaulted a man who may have been sexually harassed in the past (very unlikely). But as others have pointed out, she accidentally put her arse on (or near – OP doesn't seem to have been specific) his head, and immediately apologised for doing so.

In contrast, his choice to make a sexual comment in the form of a joke, implying he found his contact with her to be sexually gratifying, was just that – a choice. And OP is far more likely to have dealt with unwanted sexual harassment and unwanted comments than he is.

But clearly you're not discussing in good faith, so I'm done. Enjoy your catcalls and sexual commentary, I suppose.

Whilst I doubt he would, I'd find it hilarious if my husband said that to someone. He would be saying it entirely as a joke with absolutely no sexual interest in the person he made the joke to. He'd be as likely to say it to another bloke as he would a woman, as would I.

You keep undermining yourself and you've no idea you're doing it.

Imma get the popcorn.

I think she's being unreasonable! I'm not voting for Reform. Your assumption is ridiculous.