To be disappointed with how soft play handled this man

I think calling women that happen to disagree with and agree with a man dick pleasures is pretty vile, inappropriate and misogynistic.

I'm not sure how saying it's inappropriate and sexist to make unsolicited sexual comments to a woman, is undermining anything.

If anything, I'd say that normalising unsolicited sexual comments is unhelpful, and undermines attempts to stop men from cat calling, or making unasked for sexual jokes or commentary.

So why not just say your husband is in absolute agreement with you, if that's what you mean?

No bad faith.

I think you're part of the problem because you're so far to one side you leave no room for the perfectly appropriate middle. Which is where most of us function (the 92% demonstrating that). Your approach undermines the serious plight of others and makes devils of men who are not bad people.

Yes. And that somehow, thinking that strangers shouldn't make sexual comments to each other is uptight, pearl clutching, and frigid, as opposed to just normal adult maturity.

Honestly, it's not difficult to keep the jokey banter amongst friends, and be a normal, politely friendly adult around strangers.

There are a dozen light, breezy, polite ways to handle the situation and laugh it off that don't involve a man implying he's happy to have paid a tenner since it meant he got a woman's arse in his face. Casual sexualisation is just so unnecessary and inappropriate – and I doubt he'd have said the exact same thing if OP had been a man.

"But I've already made it clear I don't spend time with people who think making unsolicited sexual comments to complete strangers (as opposed to solicited, amongst friends) is an appropriate thing to do, so I don't know why you're asking."

Yes, there is a platonic way to joke about these things. With friends, when you know it won't make anyone uncomfortable or be unwanted.

Anyway, like I said; bad faith.

@OtterlyAstounding and that the woman should be grateful to the man for using sexual banter to make her feel better

No, no it's not.

You are entirely unaware of the platonic middle that exists for those of us (men and women) who aren't in the letchy or frigid* camp.

Frigid not the right word... Uptight, pearl-clutching camp.

Where did you answer my question? This seems pretty cryptic.

Simple question: what does your husband think of this?

Answer: ...

Help me out, here!

Unsolicited is entirely different to reacting to a physical contact from someone.

And you entirely misunderstood what I wrote. You have the scenario of a bloke ending up with his face in a woman's chest and joking about motorboating. I said fine and that it extends to a woman ending up with her face in a bloke's chest and joking about motorboating.

There is a platonic way to joke about these things that you seem to be unaware of. I feel for your daughters because they're being brought up see hostility where it doesn't exist.

No, it didn't. It was accidentally tripping and falling. Falling over (whether on a person in a compromising position or not) does not mean you're soliciting sexual comments.

Yes, making unsolicited sexual 'jokes' about how you're glad to have gotten a woman's arse in your face for only a tenner, is the very height of emotional intelligence.

Well, your scenario had her brushing her tits on his face, so it generally would invite some sort of comment. It would hardly be unsolicited 😂

Very childish but not something to get your knickers in a twist to this extent over.
OP, do you have rather a lot of time on your hands?

Some of you ladies are absolutely cracking me up.

I wish we could split society in half - those who are emotionally intelligent enough to understand the nuances of humour, and the others.

Well, I answered your question for you.

And wow, that's pretty gross. You think a woman tripping and falling onto a man means he's entitled to make unsolicited comments about doing something sexual to her? That's hugely inappropriate, and I don't see how it's notably different to cat calling, as in neither situation has a woman invited a man to make sexual comments to or about her.

😆

Bit of a stretch. He would be focused on the child in front of him, how would op’s arse connect with his face with a child as a buffer between them?
She could conceivably almost sit on a child’s head, I suppose…
But I doubt that’s ever actually happened, no matter how crowded the reception area gets.

Well, maybe not RIGHT behind. That, as we have learned, carries risk.

God, you're all about implying things that aren't there!

I haven't made any suggestion that your husband's view is more important than yours. I'm just interested in what he thinks as the closest male to you.

My husband and I work as a team, and sense check with each other.

Yup, if she tripped as her breasts ended up in his face, I think a joke about motorboating (generally) would be entirely appropriate. Same the other way around (i.e. if she fell into his chest). Just as with the original incident, it would be responsive to the circumstances which is something entirely different to, for example, unsolicited cat-calling.

Should always bend at the knees! For your back and fear of planting your arse in a man who also happens to be bending down to arse level behind you…

For the record, I don't think he should've been asked to leave for that one comment. Confronting him and getting an apology was enough. OP isn't being unreasonable to be upset about the comment, or to complain on Mumsnet, but I think telling him it's not appreciated and venting on MN is all that reasonably needs to happen.

His bum would still be at bum level though. It wouldn't get hoisted to face level by bending over. The op would need to be sitting.

Truth be told, Nature designed us so it doesn't happen accidentally all that often: face at one end, butt at the other.

@KilkennyCats I explained how bottom and face could connect, a man had bent down to be at his child’s level, busy reception area woman got jostled into his face.

I mean the polite thing to do would be to answer my question before coming back with one of your own, but sure.

With regard to the reception scenario, if none of the children heard it I wouldn't have an issue with it. I think that children are more likely to hear in a reception class though, so I would be more surprised if it was said there. I'd still laugh though.

That's the thing - different circumstances dictate what's okay and what isn't.

But you (and many others) are again missing the point. The OP is completely at liberty to dislike the joke and to prefer it not be made about her. The way to deal with that is to address it at the time, which she did, and the man apologised.

What's unreasonable is the reporting to staff, expecting him to be asked to leave, posting on a local Facebook group about it, and then still being angry enough to post on MN about it.

You can either go through life with a lighthearted attitude or woth a stick up your arse, but the latter is just miserable.

OP has confronted the man, tattle-tales to staff, wanted him kicked out, posted on MN AND on Facebook. I mean FGS. Imagine being friends or colleagues with someone like this. If you didn’t like the comment, eyeroll and move on. The fact that MN of all places disagrees with OP says it all

I guess bending over to pick up a dropped piece of paper or similar.

But even in that scenario, the reaction would be unprepared and possibly not what you would normally walk in and say if not provoked by a bum in your face.

ETA I mean it is a bit like having a hot drink spilt on you in that circumstance. You might shout an expletive that you normally would not shout out in school reception.