To be disappointed with how soft play handled this man

@Pikachu150 so you think it is okay for a man to say a sexual comment to a random woman in a pub?

@Pikachu150 so you think it is okay for a man to say a sexual comment to a random woman in a pub?

My litmus test works as follows, man thinks would this sexual comment be deemed appropriate at work, if not then it probably isn’t appropriate to say the comment to random woman at soft play, in the pub, on the street (or any other venue)

Why should that be the litmus test?

Lots of things are discussed and said outside the office, that would t be discussed inside. Many more debates and opinions are shared.

Again, your opinion is that, an opinion, 92% disagree.

It’s funny how the views I got on my local Facebook community page when I shared this last night differ to here. Most were outraged and concerned such a comment was made to me.

Yes, but I still think the situations are vastly different in several very significant ways that mean you can't reasonably draw the conclusion that everyone here is internally misogynistic.

Lots of people want to immediately draw distinctions based on sex, but to me one of the biggest differences in the two situations is the person who was in the uncomfortable situation.

Here, the speaker was thrust into an awkward situation and said a silly thing. In the other thread, the speaker was told that the recipient was in an awkward situation, and the speaker still chose to say the silly thing. Very different.

I don't know if anyone suggested the husband should have been thrown out of the restaurant? I hope not.

I understand that. However, there are droves of women on this thread telling her to take a joke, lighten up, unclench, unclutch her pearls, etc.

Not too many women on the other thread saying that the man needs to unclutch his pearls and learn how to take a joke. Nor is anyone saying, “Geez, men can’t do right for wrong anymore, they’re not even allowed to say ANYTHING nowadays!”

I’m not talking about the outcome—I’m talking about what’s happening in the comments section about how men and how women should react to unwanted crass comments.

In the waiter thread, the question was am I unreasonable to think it was crass/wouldn't be appreciated.

In this thread, the question was am I unreasonable to be disappointed that he wasn't asked to leave.

Obviously the situation/conversation weren’t identical.

The bottom line is that a male wanted to lighten the mood/engage in banter, and a crass comment was made. Interesting that it’s inappropriate when the comment is made to a man, yet perfectly acceptable to make the comment to a woman, and she needs to lighten up.

Yeah, it's almost like the questions asked in the two threads were entirely different.

On the other thread, 94% have said that it’s not okay to make crass comments to men to lighten the mood. Funny that.

If it isn’t okay to say it at work it shouldn’t be okay to say to a woman you don’t know at soft play. That should be the litmus test, not okay to say at work not okay to say it elsewhere

Interestingly there is another thread going on where a man has said something crass to another man who he doesn’t know, which most posters say is bad. Yet on this thread most posters think it is okay for a man to say something crass to a woman. he doesn’t know

You’ll get a pile on saying this was a joke and to get over it, but I’d agree he should have been told to leave. We need to come down hard on all these comments by men every single time.
When my kids were toddlers, I was in a cafe and knelt down to tie it oldest son’s shoelace when a man at the next table open his legs a bit and said, “while you’re down there love” with a guffaw. I had a very loud reply, and they were asked to leave but only because I made a fuss and that cafe replied on mums with toddlers to earn it’s money.
It’s just men treating women as objects. It should be dealt with every time.

Are you going to be writing a letter to The Times about it as well ? 🤣

@Neverwatchedgameofthrones OP’s action was accidental, the man had control over what words came out of his mouth

If it isn’t okay to say it at work it shouldn’t be okay to say to a woman you don’t know at soft play. That should be the litmus test, not okay to say at work not okay to say it elsewhere

Interestingly there is another thread going on where a man has said something crass to another man who he doesn’t know, which most posters say is bad. Yet on this thread most posters think it is okay for a man to say something crass to a woman. he doesn’t know

If it isn’t okay to say it at work it shouldn’t be okay to say to a woman you don’t know at soft play. That should be the litmus test, not okay to say at work not okay to say it elsewhere

Interestingly there is another thread going on where a man has said something crass to another man who he doesn’t know, which most posters say is bad. Yet on this thread most posters think it is okay for a man to say something crass to a woman. he doesn’t know

Hypothetical question: there is a workplace event involving coming up/going down a ladder, eg, a team building event or a site visit to a power plant, etc. The female Head of HR or the female CEO is going down the ladder. Unbeknownst to her, a male colleague is coming up the ladder at the same time. He says that if he knew this visit included him getting an arse in his face, he would have visited months ago. Is the reaction:
a) stern from HR.
b) laughed off as a harmless joke, and if the CEO is not happy about that, she’s told to lighten up.

Hypothetical question: there is a workplace event involving coming up/going down a ladder, eg, a team building event or a site visit to a power plant, etc. The female Head of HR or the female CEO is going down the ladder. Unbeknownst to her, a male colleague is coming up the ladder at the same time. He says that if he knew this visit included him getting an arse in his face, he would have visited months ago. Is the reaction:
a) stern from HR.
b) laughed off as a harmless joke, and if the CEO is not happy about that, she’s told to lighten up.