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AIBU?

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To be disappointed with how soft play handled this man

767 replies

Playcomment · 10/06/2026 15:59

I reported an inappropriate sexual comment made by another parent at a soft play area yesterday.

I was climbing down from one of the raised areas with my DS and didn’t realise he was climbing up. I said a polite sorry and he replied not to worry and that if he knew his £10 entry included him getting an arse in his face he would have visited months ago. I challenged him and then reported to staff.

The staff approached me 10/15 minutes later to say they’d spoken to him and he had admitted saying that but was ‘obviously joking’ and he relayed his apologies, so they considered the matter sorted.

Personally, I think he should have been asked to leave. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable and could have gone on to say similar to other parents present.

OP posts:
Shinyredbicycle · 10/06/2026 17:29

Well, you spoke to the staff, who spoke to him and he apologised and asked the staff to convey that to you.

I think it was dealt with okay tbh. Good for you for reporting the comment and good for the staff for address it with him.

If he's a halfway decent bloke, he'll be a lot more cautious with his 'jokes' in future.

moderateme · 10/06/2026 17:27

SpottyPyjama · 10/06/2026 17:21

Is it just me that finds the ‘cool girl’ insult misogynistic? As if there is a pre approved response that respectable women should give and those of of us that don’t conform are somehow lacking in morals?

Totally. It’s also entirely predictable. It’s diminishing - you disagree with me, I can’t be wrong, you must be a cool girl 🙄

TheJuryIsOut · 10/06/2026 17:26

Sorry op, that made me laugh. And no, I'm not a reform supporter, a mysoginist or a tatelicking bot. 🤷

Skybluepinky · 10/06/2026 17:26

You put your bum in his face he made a joke, you made a fuss, everyone eye rolled.

ThatLilacTiger · 10/06/2026 17:24

Happytaytos · 10/06/2026 16:13

That's a totally different type of comment. It's implying a specific sexual act the man in OPs example made a generic comment about arse.

Um I'm not sure how sheltered you are but getting a faceful of arse is very definitely a sexual act. I can tell you the search terms if you want to look it up.

nogainjustpain · 10/06/2026 17:23

@SpottyPyjamaprobably yes. If he was offended by her accidentally getting her bum in his face he should have said something. A complaint is definitely more normal than talking about paying for her arse on his face. Fucking gross. But it would have been even better if he’d just said ‘watch out’ ‘excuse me’ or literally anything other than joke about paying to have her arsehole on his face.

It’s like a parallel universe here sometimes. what is going on with this thread? The tradwife handmaiden Tatelicking ‘boys will be boys’ bots are clearly out in force. OP you are not wrong. I’m guessing he could see you a lot easier than you could see him and it’s far easier for him to get out of the way than someone coming down. Why does any of this situation need a comment about an arse from him? But no, no just smile and present your bottom for the manly man to comment freely upon while at soft play 🙄

BunnyMcDougall · 10/06/2026 17:23

SpudGunToo · 10/06/2026 17:10

How was it demeaning?

Referring to paying £10 to have a woman’s arse in his face alludes to, well…paying a stripper? Who else gets paid to put her arse in a man’s face? I don’t want random men in soft play comparing me to strippers.

ChrisTheBastard · 10/06/2026 17:23

SpottyPyjama · 10/06/2026 17:21

Is it just me that finds the ‘cool girl’ insult misogynistic? As if there is a pre approved response that respectable women should give and those of of us that don’t conform are somehow lacking in morals?

Totally. It's akin to "coconut"

Kalanthe · 10/06/2026 17:22

I think he just said it without thinking as a joke, it’s not exactly sexual harassment… There are real predators out there we should be worried about

Goldengirl123 · 10/06/2026 17:22

Don’t be so ridiculous

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 10/06/2026 17:21

Playcomment · 10/06/2026 16:48

It seems you are in the minority…I’ll have to accept that making a facesitting comment in front of kids is perfectly normal next time I go 🙄

Facesitting?

that would be an entirely different comment, and I think would receive an entirely different response on here.

SuddenlyBecoming · 10/06/2026 17:21

Wow not everything needs to be reportable. You may be happier if you see the amusement in some things in life

SpottyPyjama · 10/06/2026 17:21

Is it just me that finds the ‘cool girl’ insult misogynistic? As if there is a pre approved response that respectable women should give and those of of us that don’t conform are somehow lacking in morals?

BunnyMcDougall · 10/06/2026 17:20

Hamela · 10/06/2026 17:09

Very surprised at these comments, so many being ok with this.

A woman enjoying time with her child in a very very child-centric place should not ever have to endure Random Mediocre Man implying, completely out of the blue, that he would rather be paying money to buy "consent" to have her literal arsehole on his face.

Fucking pig, why can't he just focus solely on the time meant to be spent playing with his children? Porn sick loser.

They police our bodies and actions, they think they can comment on even the most thoroughly disinterested women's bodies in even the most unsexual venues. It's not funny or flattering, when so many of them objectify and ( eitherinsidiously or outright) hate us and enjoy our discomfort.

They do enjoy our discomfort…just “banter,” eh? 🙄

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Paganpentacle · 10/06/2026 17:15

Get a sense of humour FFS.

Tiptow · 10/06/2026 17:15

Erin1975 · 10/06/2026 17:13

I'm more interested in how the current generation flirt. Is everything considered offensive?

Oh yes! Do they flirt? How?!

moderateme · 10/06/2026 17:15

Playcomment · 10/06/2026 16:48

It seems you are in the minority…I’ll have to accept that making a facesitting comment in front of kids is perfectly normal next time I go 🙄

Facesitting (if that makes sense as a word!) is a bit different to what you initially said and is a specific sexual act.

You putting your arse in his face is what happened and a specific sexual act.

WildLeader · 10/06/2026 17:13

Christ almighty! What a time to be alive!

@Playcomment I hope you never join my gym, we have a great laugh, we’re all ages and genders and nobody is ever this uptight

Erin1975 · 10/06/2026 17:13

Tiptow · 10/06/2026 16:54

I must admit that I’m very curious as to what the humour is for the generations that are so po faced. What do they actually laugh at, is it just memes of cats?

I'm more interested in how the current generation flirt. Is everything considered offensive?

youalright · 10/06/2026 17:13

These are the sort of comments that I make in an awkward situation and I'm female.

Ablondiebutagoody · 10/06/2026 17:12

It's quite funny

BunnyMcDougall · 10/06/2026 17:12

SnappyQuoter · 10/06/2026 16:03

You’ll get a pile on saying this was a joke and to get over it, but I’d agree he should have been told to leave. We need to come down hard on all these comments by men every single time.
When my kids were toddlers, I was in a cafe and knelt down to tie it oldest son’s shoelace when a man at the next table open his legs a bit and said, “while you’re down there love” with a guffaw. I had a very loud reply, and they were asked to leave but only because I made a fuss and that cafe replied on mums with toddlers to earn it’s money.
It’s just men treating women as objects. It should be dealt with every time.

This.

“It’s just a joke” is so 1972.

Stepsisterfromhell · 10/06/2026 17:12

So many prudes on MN. Yes, it was funny and was probably an attempt to relieve the tedious boredom that softplay centres represent for most parents! I would have probably said, well I need to get my money's worth so its your turn to climb down onto me next time!

Pinkchickenwine · 10/06/2026 17:12

HelenHywater · 10/06/2026 16:30

OP it's not funny or appropriate. I'm with you.

All the cool girls on this thread are unbelievable.

All 92% of them are “cool girls” …. Ok then 🤔

Happytaytos · 10/06/2026 17:12

Playcomment · 10/06/2026 16:48

It seems you are in the minority…I’ll have to accept that making a facesitting comment in front of kids is perfectly normal next time I go 🙄

Face sitting...... You're the one adding that layer in your own head.