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Original poster

To be disappointed with how soft play handled this man

767 replies

Playcomment · 10/06/2026 15:59

I reported an inappropriate sexual comment made by another parent at a soft play area yesterday.

I was climbing down from one of the raised areas with my DS and didn’t realise he was climbing up. I said a polite sorry and he replied not to worry and that if he knew his £10 entry included him getting an arse in his face he would have visited months ago. I challenged him and then reported to staff.

The staff approached me 10/15 minutes later to say they’d spoken to him and he had admitted saying that but was ‘obviously joking’ and he relayed his apologies, so they considered the matter sorted.

Personally, I think he should have been asked to leave. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable and could have gone on to say similar to other parents present.

OP posts:
SpottyPyjama · 10/06/2026 18:38

followtheswallow · 10/06/2026 18:06

The thread is fascinating as it shows how as a society we just accept sexualised comments to women while we absolutely don’t accept other ‘isms.’

I don’t actually blame the man, it’s a cultural thing, but people tee heeing about it - it really isn’t funny.

Other ‘isms’ are usually meant as a derogatory insult. This situation is different because it was an awkward situation initiated by the woman in question not looking where she was going.

momtoboys · 10/06/2026 18:35

Sorry - I would have laughed too.

Damsonjam1 · 10/06/2026 18:35

Sorry, but from how you describe it, I would have found it funny, and taken it at face value as a joke.

Several years ago, when there were still train managers (and a policeman at the station) I had a drunk man chucked off a train for making leud comments towards two young women, that was both not funny and presented as degrading. Your experience sounds very different.

loulouljh · 10/06/2026 18:33

That would have made me chuckle. Lighten up.

VIII · 10/06/2026 18:32

Roaroutthetree · 10/06/2026 18:28

Why is it acceptable to make a sexual comment to a random adult. Op didn’t think it was. So why do you think you can make the decision that it was?

Would it be acceptable in work? If a policeman had said it? If your dad said it?

Show quote history

That's not what you said though. You said would you say it to a child which is a daft comment because obviously there's lots of things you would say to an adult you wouldn't to a child. It doesn't inherently make something wrong because you wouldn't say it to a child.

Pinkchickenwine · 10/06/2026 18:30

Roaroutthetree · 10/06/2026 18:23

Would it have been ok if he’d said it to a child?

no? Why? Because it’s a sexual comment.

so it’s not ok to say it, full stop.

Don’t be silly! The child wouldn’t have got the joke!

A knock knock is more their level!

Roaroutthetree · 10/06/2026 18:30

Lentilcakes · 10/06/2026 18:29

I would’ve said ‘it’s your lucky day then!’

Woah. Have you contacted the Royal Shakespeare Society or similar to impart your wit.

IdaGlossop · 10/06/2026 18:30

Pinkchickenwine · 10/06/2026 18:29

OP says she called him out, then reported, then wanted him thrown out!

The first bit was more than sufficient

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Quite. Telling the staff and wanting him thrown out was overkill.

Lentilcakes · 10/06/2026 18:29

I would’ve said ‘it’s your lucky day then!’

Pinkchickenwine · 10/06/2026 18:29

IdaGlossop · 10/06/2026 18:25

This is one of many examples I read on MN that make me think that we women really do need to learn to stand up for ourselves and rebut these minor sexual aggressions. We are grown-ups and able to stand on our own two feet! Feeling uncomfortable is not the end of the world. The comment was made in an open space with others present, not down a dark alley with no-one else around. 'Amusing but a comment you would have been better not making because it makes you look like a bit of a tosser' with a sarcastic smile would have done the trick.

Typo

Edited

OP says she called him out, then reported, then wanted him thrown out!

The first bit was more than sufficient

Roaroutthetree · 10/06/2026 18:28

VIII · 10/06/2026 18:24

You do understand that it's acceptable to say some things to an adult that you wouldn't say to a child right? This line of logic is very flawed.

Show quote history

Why is it acceptable to make a sexual comment to a random adult. Op didn’t think it was. So why do you think you can make the decision that it was?

Would it be acceptable in work? If a policeman had said it? If your dad said it?

BoredZelda · 10/06/2026 18:27

Playcomment · 10/06/2026 16:48

It seems you are in the minority…I’ll have to accept that making a facesitting comment in front of kids is perfectly normal next time I go 🙄

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Won’t somebody think of the children!!🤦🏻‍♀️

It was a sleazy comment, I’d have made him feel like the slimy git that he was. But no children were harmed, and expecting him to be thrown out is a bit much.

IdaGlossop · 10/06/2026 18:25

This is one of many examples I read on MN that make me think that we women really do need to learn to stand up for ourselves and rebut these minor sexual aggressions. We are grown-ups and able to stand on our own two feet! Feeling uncomfortable is not the end of the world. The comment was made in an open space with others present, not down a dark alley with no-one else around. 'Amusing but a comment you would have been better not making because it makes you look like a bit of a tosser' with a sarcastic smile would have done the trick.

Typo

VIII · 10/06/2026 18:24

Roaroutthetree · 10/06/2026 18:23

Would it have been ok if he’d said it to a child?

no? Why? Because it’s a sexual comment.

so it’s not ok to say it, full stop.

You do understand that it's acceptable to say some things to an adult that you wouldn't say to a child right? This line of logic is very flawed.

Roaroutthetree · 10/06/2026 18:23

Would it have been ok if he’d said it to a child?

no? Why? Because it’s a sexual comment.

so it’s not ok to say it, full stop.

Newsenmum · 10/06/2026 18:22

SnappyQuoter · 10/06/2026 16:03

You’ll get a pile on saying this was a joke and to get over it, but I’d agree he should have been told to leave. We need to come down hard on all these comments by men every single time.
When my kids were toddlers, I was in a cafe and knelt down to tie it oldest son’s shoelace when a man at the next table open his legs a bit and said, “while you’re down there love” with a guffaw. I had a very loud reply, and they were asked to leave but only because I made a fuss and that cafe replied on mums with toddlers to earn it’s money.
It’s just men treating women as objects. It should be dealt with every time.

I feel like that’s a lot worse though!

ThePieceHall · 10/06/2026 18:22

Tiptow · 10/06/2026 18:16

You seem lovely. Thanks for your input.

Show quote history

Thanks. I am. Ditto.

DixonD · 10/06/2026 18:21

Playcomment · 10/06/2026 16:48

It seems you are in the minority…I’ll have to accept that making a facesitting comment in front of kids is perfectly normal next time I go 🙄

Show quote history

He wasn’t referring to face sitting - stop trying to make it sound worse than it was 😂

Sartre · 10/06/2026 18:21

I think you need to lighten up. I would have just laughed and shrugged it off… He was, as he said, very clearly joking. Did you want him to get a lifetime ban? Be arrested? Like come on, he didn’t touch you or say anything hugely inappropriate.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 10/06/2026 18:20

It was likely an awkward situation for him having your arse in his face and he said something awkward in response

DixonD · 10/06/2026 18:20

That’s so funny 😂. I bet the staff had a giggle at that as well!

YABU.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 10/06/2026 18:19

Probably not the nicest comment but not something to get someone thrown out over or to even report.

Nofeckingway · 10/06/2026 18:19

I would laugh a lot and probably made some smart comment back too.

UncannyFanny · 10/06/2026 18:18

SnappyQuoter · 10/06/2026 16:03

You’ll get a pile on saying this was a joke and to get over it, but I’d agree he should have been told to leave. We need to come down hard on all these comments by men every single time.
When my kids were toddlers, I was in a cafe and knelt down to tie it oldest son’s shoelace when a man at the next table open his legs a bit and said, “while you’re down there love” with a guffaw. I had a very loud reply, and they were asked to leave but only because I made a fuss and that cafe replied on mums with toddlers to earn it’s money.
It’s just men treating women as objects. It should be dealt with every time.

Aye of course he did 😉

Multiuniverse · 10/06/2026 18:17

I wonder how much of this is purely your own embarrassment of the bottom and face situation. Which has made you feel uncomfortable, given he made a joke about it.