AIBU to expect vegan guests to avoid preaching at shared meals?

Why all the hate for the flexitarian term. The ‘normal’ western diet is meat every day or with most meals. A diet where the person actively tries to only eat animal protein by exception is not the ‘standard’ so is worthy of its own term.

Yanbu they on the other hand are rude and I wouldn't invite them back they can keep the opinions to themselves or don't come

For those people objecting to the term “flexitarian” it can be a useful label when confronted with the astonishment of friends, family and colleagues when I choose a vegetarian main at a restaurant rather than a meat/fish course.

”I didn’t know you had gone vegetarian!” is the usual comment. I explain, it’s possible to enjoy vegetarian food and that’s what I fancy.

The reply is usually then: “but we’re out! At a restaurant! The meat is better value and it tastes nice! I mean, this is a steak restaurant why on earth wouldn’t you eat steak?”

At which point I usually shrug and change the subject rather than explaining my various health conditions that mean if I ate an entire steak is be unwell for three days.

I enjoy eating meat and fish, but for environmental and really important health reasons (pancreatic issues) I will generally indulge in it only when it is inconvenient not to eg at a dinner party or when I’ve made bolognese for the family and don’t want to open a whole jar of pesto but I need a little bit of “something” to go with my pasta and broccoli!

Unless you are “fully vegetarian/vegan” you really cannot tell a host you’d prefer not to eat their meat course. No one gets it and it does create an atmosphere if you explain meat makes you unwell or you had meat a few days ago so none today thanks.

Yanbu for if there was actual "preaching" or judginess but some people are so super-sensitive that they consider someone saying "no thanks, I'm vegan" or "is this dip vegan?" which are perfectly reasonable to say, as if they were preaching/judging rather than just trying to get fed. On another thread, a MNer was directly accused of "preaching" just because she asked fellow sharers of a takeaway not to use the same spoon for meat dishes and vegan dishes to avoid meat juices getting mixed in. So what did the vegan actually do in order to prompt you starting this thread. Did they actually tell you all off for earing meat and animal products? Or just make requests to ensure that some of the food would be available for them to eat?

Yes you are wrong. You have a horrible attitude. Are you saying that your vegan friends should bring their own meals to parties or just shut up and eat whatever is offered? That makes no sense. In what way were they preachy? I am a vegetarian and have friends who are- never seen anyone imposing our views on others. Equally, my friends have never seen my diet as odd or difficult, and there's never any awkwardness about serving veg food.
Also, what's a flexitarian? You just seem to eat all kinds of food. Stop giving yourself some weird title.

Sorry you are right. Of course I'd provide for them if it was a small group for dinner. I had interpreted (perhaps wrongly) that the OP had in mind a large party of people with a couple of vegans in the mix. In the latter case I might well ask them to bring something if they wanted more than veg and salad.

Based on personal experience? Or just a very lazy trope.

I know who in my circle eats meat too. Does that mean they have preached about it or just that they have told me they do? It seems that when a vegan tells you they are vegan they are preaching, when a meat eater tells you they eat meat, they just tell you. If you are having people over for dinne then yes, you will have to find out what they dietary requirements are. Otherwise you might be feeding coeliac flour. My guess it though that you have precisely zero vegans in your circle.

Well I don’t know what actually happened OP so it is hard to say… but loads of people biting your head off for no apparent reason at all. It seems to me that your point is evidenced in the replies you’re receiving- you eat consciously 95% of the time because you agree with vegetarianism but that you have occasional meat in your diet (for whatever reason) but that is not good enough for the ‘real’ vegetarians here, and you are fair game for shitty comments.

Are you going to give any details on what your vegan friends have actually said or done? If not, what was the point of this thread?

Because there’s some truth to it!

Or the fact you're the third person on this thread to quote 'the old joke'.

You posted at 5 am, not 45 mins ago.

I know - threads like this make me want to start 'I'm a preachy vegan AMA' thread just to be annoying ;)

Like that old joke: how do you know someone is vegan? They’ll tell you.

Wtf, veganism is self indulgent?

Vegan products are things such as beans, carrots, onion, oats, potatoes, blueberries, lentils, couscous, rice. Then there are upf's out their like chicken nuggets, sausages, fish fingers, pepperoni, salami all of which meat eaters love. But when a vegan upf enters the market all of a sudden that's is the definitition of a vegan diet.

Are you arguing that meat is healthy? Specifically pig meat?

Based on what? What about it is completely unhealthy? Yes if you live on a diet of UPFs it is but that's applicable to any diet.

Grow up. Most people don't even know I'm vegan because I've never once preached about it.

It's obvious they shouldn't preach, but I know many vegans and I'm a vegetarian of 20 something years and I've found that it's people who eat meat who either start a discussion or preach to a vegan or someone who avoids meat. I can't think of one militant vegan and know so many!

Exactly, I eat meat, but am happy to cater to whatever dietary requirements my guests have. Hopefully with a dish that will cater for all people. I'm not making a meat one and vegan one, everyone gets the vegan meal

Nope. You’re not right. It’s a terrible diet and completely unhealthy.

It’s good people are getting wise to it. I only wish MNHQ would deal with these obvious goady threads but ‘traffic’. 🙄

Another omnivore here who has never heard a vegan or vegetarian preach. It is some meat eaters who need to ‘educate’ others and mock vegans for their choices. It’s like they feel threatened by people who don’t eat meat. And yes it’s always the men.

My kids’ vegan music teacher didn’t tell us for years and I kept giving her milk chocolates for Christmas! I kind of wish she had told me earlier but she just kept it to herself!