AIBU to expect vegan guests to avoid preaching at shared meals?

Either you are being deliberately goady, are stupid or are completely missing the point.

As I am a good cook I don't find cooking vegan meals or vegetarian meals much of a challenge. Being vegan or vegetarian isn't being fussy. However, you can be vegan/vegetarian and fussy (like my SIL).

ha yes, and the common myth that you will be weak etc.
the veggies I mixed with were endurance athletes and fitness fanatics and there were none of these specialised targeted drinks then.

mind you I also knew really unhealthy overweight veggies lived on toast and suchlike.

Years ago the vegan/veggies I knew didn’t expect anything. If they came over and you were having a roast they’d gladly eat the veg and avoid the gravy if it was meat based. But there were less vegans then. I was vegetarian for 5 years. It was mainly convenience as partner was and we travelled a lot in countries where the diets were largely vegetable based, although it amazed me that they didn’t consider chicken as meat, more of a lighter gateway protein !

They wouldn't be invited again. They are just rude.

Just want to say that I’ve been vegetarian for over 30 years and the number of times I’ve been teased with “but bacon?! How do you get your protein?! Don’t you miss being able to eat properly?!”. I’m happy to answer reasonable questions but it’s tedious. Glad the vegans have to take the slack now that being vegetarian is pretty normal!

I eat mainly plants, sometimes dairy and very occasionally meat (only if it would otherwise be wasted) . I don’t describe myself as anything, but if I did “meat eater” would be completely inaccurate. Like the vast majority of humans I eat an omnivore diet. But I have the same right as purists to reject the ultra processed Danish ham sandwiches on the buffet or cafe in favour of the bean and tofu wraps.

I don’t think OP is afraid of causing offence - she just doesn’t want to. Don’t gaslight her. OP didn’t say she cares about animals even though she eats plant based nearly all the time - you do know that people eat mainly plants for lots of reasons, not just “for the animals”? Her ethics are just as valid those of her vegan friends’ - she doesn’t try to persuade her friends that her ethical position is superior and she does not like it when they do.

That’s great, but why did you say it was 45 minutes when it wasn’t? 🤣

I was an omnivore for 50 years. Been vegan for 7. I can confidently report that my popularity has not been impacted by the fact I now don't eat some things I used to. Either people couldn't care less, or they express positivity and say they wish they could do the same, but like animal foods too much.
Perhaps I'm just lucky to move in circles where people don't obsess over whether other people are eating meat and dairy, where the most important thing about socialising isn't food, and where 'care and welcome' isn't edible.

YABU. If you had to sit down to a meal with a dog abuser, would you expect to be told to stop "preaching"? Have you seen the lives of those chickens you eat? It's worse than prison, and then they get stuffed into a lorry to be driven to their murders. But yeah, vegans are the real problem!

My son (adult) is the non vegetarian here .
DH, adult DD and I are all vegetarian.

DD has noticed at work that loads of people roll up to the vegan.vegetarian foods to have a try , which if fine provided they wait till the non meat eaters have chosen.
If it inspires them , to eat well prepared interesting foods they might fancy doing a couple of Meat Free Days if they don;t want to give up completely .

They say "I could happily eat vegetarian./vegan" but don't want to commit .

The ones who irritate the bejesus out of me are the "Mmmmm bacon, I bet you'd love to eat this chicken" as if I'm going to leap across and prise it from their hands and gorge till the blood runs down my face .
That's a no.

As a vegetarian I find it funny when people say " I love vegetarian food" or " I'm flexitarian" when really you are just a meat eater. That is fine. Our son eats meat I cook it for him so really don't judge people.
I'm making my own choices.

Would you eat whatever was offered to be polite though? If it were dog, cat or horse meat? If not, why is that?

Yeah , invite me round and I'll eat Dead Things just to reciprocate and show how well mannered and unfussy I am ............said No Vegetarian or Vegan ever

You are being ironic?
You can't be for real?

I think its really just that omnivores will eat veggie meals but vegans will NOT reciprocate and eat a meat meal. Thats why they are unpopular. I no longer invite vegan friends as it is too difficult to cater for fussy eaters, but when I go to theirs I eat whatever they offer. Thats just good manners.

No, you're not missing anything. The term means nothing or to be fair, very little. A 'flexitarian' is someone who sometimes eats meat, sometimes will opt for a vegan or vegetarian option. So, someone who eats whatever they want meat or otherwise but probably eats less meat than some people and more than other people. Basically the same as most folk in the Western world.

Pointless.

I’ve been pondering the term Flexitarian and surely it just means you eat anything (meat fish poultry etc) so it’s just regular eating really, maybe I am missing something ?

But the bulk of your argument is misinformed, and the rest of it stupid.

About 75% of soy is used for animal feed.

Much of the rest is in biofuels, as well as cooking oils, salad dressings, chocolate, baked goods and other foodstuffs.

Only about 7% is used for what you might call "vegan" foods, like tofu, tempeh, edamame and miso - but the vast majority of people who regularly eat those foods aren't vegan.

So you're magnitudes off with your numbers.

If everyone in the world (A) went vegan tomorrow, and (B) replaced every single meat item in their diet with tofu, that would result in about a 60-70% drop in soybean agriculture. It takes 50 to 100 times as much land to produce a kilocalorie of beef or lamb versus plant-based alternatives.

I doubt any vegans actually substitute tofu for mear on a 1:1 basis but, even if they did, they would be reducing their "soybean footrpint" by somewhere in the region of 75-95% (depending on the types of meat they previously ate).

If your "point" is that vegans still have some residual "soybean footrpint", that's incredibly specious.

If someone told you that, through finding alternative products/services, they'd managed to reduce their monthly outgoings by ~80%, "lol, you still spend some money so you shouldn't have bothered" would be a ridiculous position - and its basically yours, here.

Incidentally, I'm not vegan, but I find some of the arguments advanced against veganism to be embarrassingly empty-headed, and more rooted in insecurity in personal choice to eat meat than anything else.

I know FFS change the record

Tbf it's turned into a "flexitarian hate thread". 🤣

Same. "You don't know what you're missing" to me when I was with DH and his friends and they were all eating beef in the pub. Er, yes I do! Most of us in those days didn't grow up vegetarian. I ate beef up until I was 21 and never liked it! Idiots.

Totally agree, and the fact that the OP is unwilling to cook a vegan meal for her vegan friends makes the flexitarian thing seem especially meaningless. Someone who's veggie/vegan most of the time but can't/won't cook a vegan meal when hosting? It doesn't make sense.

And "tall", compared to what and who says that? I'm son is tall compared to a 6 year old but he is short compared to a sky scraper. So again, it's comparative and meaningless without context. Vegan/veggie doesn't need context. It is what it is in any situation.

Oh joy....the weekly vegan hate thread zzzzzzzzzzz