Page 2 | AIBU to complain the school? Ipad related

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 2026-06-09T18:59:02+00:00

DC y8 has a school iPad. He's v open with us and told us he'd heard of this cool site where he can watch (poor quality) movies and TV shows, pirated. I had a look and there are many inappropriate and sexual 18 rated horror / adult movies on there. I feel really frustrated with the lack of control we have over what sites he can access on his school ipad, we're quite strict with screens and he has a very locked down phone and limited gaming time. We have to trust him not to watch these things as we cannot control what he does on his iPad before and during school in breaks etc (luckily he's usually outside playing sports). I also don't want to have to constantly police it when he's doing homework and revision which is all on the iPad! AIBU to complain to the school that they have given my child an addictive device on which he can access goodness knows what, which I have no control over as a parent, and which they don't seem to either!

Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:36

Pippa12 · 09/06/2026 20:31

I wouldn’t be happy with my child having access to this sort of material either, especially on a school iPad!

I do think it’s abit strange that you need to force him to do his homework downstairs to the point of tears? If I told my child to categorically not deviate from the homework task I would 100% expect him not to. I’d check in periodically but I would allow him the opportunity to gain your trust. The repercussions would be harsh if he went rogue!

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I don't want to normalize device use in his bedroom, but on that occasion I did say he could go upstairs, I obviously don't want him to be in tears over it. But he wanted to do it downstairs. He was just getting frustrated

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saynotofondant · 09/06/2026 20:33

SummerFeverVenice · 09/06/2026 20:23

🥴 not really though. Otherwise there would not be all the support requests from adults less bright than ‘morons’ (your words) that can’t figure out how to do x on their pad.

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The elderly people I know all use iPads rather than desktops/laptops. My 85 year old neighbour was outraged that she’d need to switch on her laptop to order a new bus pass rather than do it on a mobile site. My mum learned to use an iPad for the first time in hospital after a stroke…

Desktops/laptops have a lot more user configuration. That’s why technological literacy among Gen Z and Alpha is lower than for Gen X and Millennials. Because the earlier generations had to learn how to set up their own email accounts, pirate music on limewire, defragment a hard drive. Some of the younger generation can’t even use a file path! (Which is something you do need for office work, unlike limewire - but pirating did at least encourage curiosity and problem-solving)

Pippa12 · 09/06/2026 20:31

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:07

Also I should add at the moment I force him to do homework etc in the downstairs where I can see him and keep an eye on his screen but this is quite impractical. He was in tears earlier in the week because his sibling was playing a noisy instrument (which cannot be taken upstairs).

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I wouldn’t be happy with my child having access to this sort of material either, especially on a school iPad!

I do think it’s abit strange that you need to force him to do his homework downstairs to the point of tears? If I told my child to categorically not deviate from the homework task I would 100% expect him not to. I’d check in periodically but I would allow him the opportunity to gain your trust. The repercussions would be harsh if he went rogue!

BoarBrush · 09/06/2026 20:30

Our schools had ipads for years,they are actually pretty hard to use as the proxy server settings bans near enough everything.

Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:28

Floatingdownriver · 09/06/2026 20:26

You won’t be able to set up parent controls if the school owns it per se, however you can go into settings and moderate the internet content to be set for an age range. He could then in theory change it, but this is your best option.

The way this particular site is structured I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be picked up by this unfortunately

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Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:27

SummerFeverVenice · 09/06/2026 20:24

It’s easy to send an email and the offending website can be added to the blocker.

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The problem is it's then whack-a-mole. There are literally millions of similar websites I'm sure. It would be better if they had an approved list of sites they could access.

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Floatingdownriver · 09/06/2026 20:26

You won’t be able to set up parent controls if the school owns it per se, however you can go into settings and moderate the internet content to be set for an age range. He could then in theory change it, but this is your best option.

titchy · 09/06/2026 20:26

SummerFeverVenice · 09/06/2026 20:14

I am sorry but that is today’s equivalent of a 1926 parent insisting their child do homework on a slate with chalk instead of with pencil and paper. The child is 12/13 he will need to be technologically literate to be ready for a modern workplace. Even blue collar, manual labour workers in warehouses have to use pads these days.

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Do you really think there are kids that leave school unable to use tablet/laptop/smart phone because they did homework in a book?

Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:26

SummerFeverVenice · 09/06/2026 20:14

I am sorry but that is today’s equivalent of a 1926 parent insisting their child do homework on a slate with chalk instead of with pencil and paper. The child is 12/13 he will need to be technologically literate to be ready for a modern workplace. Even blue collar, manual labour workers in warehouses have to use pads these days.

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I have no concerns about the technological literacy of my DC, however it has been proven that screen based revision and learning isn't as effective as pen and paper - see academic results in USA since they introduced screens / devices in classrooms.

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YourAquaLion · 09/06/2026 20:25

SummerFeverVenice · 09/06/2026 20:14

I am sorry but that is today’s equivalent of a 1926 parent insisting their child do homework on a slate with chalk instead of with pencil and paper. The child is 12/13 he will need to be technologically literate to be ready for a modern workplace. Even blue collar, manual labour workers in warehouses have to use pads these days.

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It’s really not that hard to learn how to use an iPad, most of us have learned well enough who didn’t even have computers at school or home until our late teens! What schools are handing out iPads willy nilly anyway, how do they get the funding for that? I haven’t seen them at my son’s primary, everything is still (thankfully!) on paper.

SummerFeverVenice · 09/06/2026 20:24

StripyHorse · 09/06/2026 20:18

Raise your concern with the school. Present it is 'I am bringing this issue to your attention so you can fix it please,' rather than a complaint.

Obviously, once you have done this, if there is not a tightening of what can be accessed, then you should complain.

On a totally separate note though - school iPads to use at home? Wow! Is this a private school or is your school just good at getting funding?

It’s easy to send an email and the offending website can be added to the blocker.

Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:24

StripyHorse · 09/06/2026 20:18

Raise your concern with the school. Present it is 'I am bringing this issue to your attention so you can fix it please,' rather than a complaint.

Obviously, once you have done this, if there is not a tightening of what can be accessed, then you should complain.

On a totally separate note though - school iPads to use at home? Wow! Is this a private school or is your school just good at getting funding?

No it's an academy with £££ it seems

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SummerFeverVenice · 09/06/2026 20:23

MerryGuide · 09/06/2026 20:19

Any moron can use an ipad, they dont need teaching

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🥴 not really though. Otherwise there would not be all the support requests from adults less bright than ‘morons’ (your words) that can’t figure out how to do x on their pad.

Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:23

SummerFeverVenice · 09/06/2026 20:11

It should not be the whole internet, the school iPad will have some restrictions on it. I think it’s law that they have a blocker installed so the kids can’t access pornography. The dodgy pirated media website is probably just not listed in their blocking software (yet).

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Yes there are some restrictions but they're not very helpful

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SummerFeverVenice · 09/06/2026 20:22

mrsbowes · 09/06/2026 20:15

A 3 year old can learn to use an ipad in minutes 😂

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😂 hilarious that you think so.

MerryGuide · 09/06/2026 20:19

SummerFeverVenice · 09/06/2026 20:14

I am sorry but that is today’s equivalent of a 1926 parent insisting their child do homework on a slate with chalk instead of with pencil and paper. The child is 12/13 he will need to be technologically literate to be ready for a modern workplace. Even blue collar, manual labour workers in warehouses have to use pads these days.

Show quote history

Any moron can use an ipad, they dont need teaching

StripyHorse · 09/06/2026 20:18

Raise your concern with the school. Present it is 'I am bringing this issue to your attention so you can fix it please,' rather than a complaint.

Obviously, once you have done this, if there is not a tightening of what can be accessed, then you should complain.

On a totally separate note though - school iPads to use at home? Wow! Is this a private school or is your school just good at getting funding?

Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:18

Laiste · 09/06/2026 20:14

Ask for a meeting with safe guarding lead and take the i pad in and and turn on something horrific in front of them on it.

That will speak for itself!

I like this idea 😂

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mrsbowes · 09/06/2026 20:15

SummerFeverVenice · 09/06/2026 20:14

I am sorry but that is today’s equivalent of a 1926 parent insisting their child do homework on a slate with chalk instead of with pencil and paper. The child is 12/13 he will need to be technologically literate to be ready for a modern workplace. Even blue collar, manual labour workers in warehouses have to use pads these days.

Show quote history

A 3 year old can learn to use an ipad in minutes 😂

Laiste · 09/06/2026 20:14

Ask for a meeting with safe guarding lead and take the i pad in and and turn on something horrific in front of them on it.

That will speak for itself!

SummerFeverVenice · 09/06/2026 20:14

mrsbowes · 09/06/2026 20:09

I'd hand the ipad back to the school, tell them he doesn't have permission to use it outside of school supervision and they will have to give him homework on paper.

I am sorry but that is today’s equivalent of a 1926 parent insisting their child do homework on a slate with chalk instead of with pencil and paper. The child is 12/13 he will need to be technologically literate to be ready for a modern workplace. Even blue collar, manual labour workers in warehouses have to use pads these days.

pteromum · 09/06/2026 20:13

I’m not sure on ages here, as I am Scotland, where they give them to seven year olds. We have fought to opt out of bringing home, and I mean fought.

there is a very active group “unplugscot” which has website and WhatsApp group. Lots of references to England and elsewhere as well.

SummerFeverVenice · 09/06/2026 20:11

mrsbowes · 09/06/2026 20:08

I don't think you can give a 12 year old access to the whole internet and just 'trust them'.

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It should not be the whole internet, the school iPad will have some restrictions on it. I think it’s law that they have a blocker installed so the kids can’t access pornography. The dodgy pirated media website is probably just not listed in their blocking software (yet).

Meeeeeeow · 09/06/2026 20:10

These school devices should be locked down. Ours is, to the point there’s not a huge lot you can do with them

Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:10

SummerFeverVenice · 09/06/2026 20:06

We have to trust him

Is there a reason why you can’t trust him? In your shoes, I’d tell him that a site with pirated films is not ethical to use and explain how it is stealing.

I do trust him, he's a great kid. I'm just frustrated, I was working when he got home and before he told me about the site he had clicked on and watched a bit of American Psycho. Luckily nothing horrendous!

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