AIBU to complain the school? Ipad related

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 2026-06-09T18:59:02+00:00

DC y8 has a school iPad. He's v open with us and told us he'd heard of this cool site where he can watch (poor quality) movies and TV shows, pirated. I had a look and there are many inappropriate and sexual 18 rated horror / adult movies on there. I feel really frustrated with the lack of control we have over what sites he can access on his school ipad, we're quite strict with screens and he has a very locked down phone and limited gaming time. We have to trust him not to watch these things as we cannot control what he does on his iPad before and during school in breaks etc (luckily he's usually outside playing sports). I also don't want to have to constantly police it when he's doing homework and revision which is all on the iPad! AIBU to complain to the school that they have given my child an addictive device on which he can access goodness knows what, which I have no control over as a parent, and which they don't seem to either!

Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 10/06/2026 19:33

BoredZelda · 10/06/2026 14:18

YABU for your reasoning, but it is worth mentioning to the school there is a problem site which can be accessed. My daughter’s school iPad is so locked down she often can’t access the sites she needs for research so I’m surprised he was able to access porn on it.

It's not porn! It's 18 rated movies

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Livpool · 10/06/2026 15:32

Pippa12 · 09/06/2026 20:31

I wouldn’t be happy with my child having access to this sort of material either, especially on a school iPad!

I do think it’s abit strange that you need to force him to do his homework downstairs to the point of tears? If I told my child to categorically not deviate from the homework task I would 100% expect him not to. I’d check in periodically but I would allow him the opportunity to gain your trust. The repercussions would be harsh if he went rogue!

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I think it is because the sibling was playing a noisy instrument while they were trying to work. Not sure why the child had to be on the instrument at that exact time though

BoredZelda · 10/06/2026 14:19

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 10/06/2026 14:10

Interesting to know, to be fair to the school, this site has been specifically designed to circumnavigate the security

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Also seems unlikely.

BoredZelda · 10/06/2026 14:18

YABU for your reasoning, but it is worth mentioning to the school there is a problem site which can be accessed. My daughter’s school iPad is so locked down she often can’t access the sites she needs for research so I’m surprised he was able to access porn on it.

BringBackCatsEyes · 10/06/2026 14:15

The school-issue iPad my 6th former has, has so many controls it’s impossible to do anything aside from school work.
Are you sure his has been set up properly?

Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 10/06/2026 14:10

Wemustbetherebynow · 09/06/2026 22:09

Definitely raise it with the school preferably via their safeguarding team and show them what you have found and demand a full written response and actions they plan to deal with it. As other people have said, our experience with an iPad secondary school (over 10 years of it now) is that everything is so controlled and locked down by the school there is little they can do on it. Sounds like the school needs to get a proper grip of their IT

Interesting to know, to be fair to the school, this site has been specifically designed to circumnavigate the security

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Wemustbetherebynow · 09/06/2026 22:09

Definitely raise it with the school preferably via their safeguarding team and show them what you have found and demand a full written response and actions they plan to deal with it. As other people have said, our experience with an iPad secondary school (over 10 years of it now) is that everything is so controlled and locked down by the school there is little they can do on it. Sounds like the school needs to get a proper grip of their IT

Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 21:59

KarmenPQZ · 09/06/2026 21:42

You need to tell school that they should be whitelisting approved sites rather than blacklisting.

seriously worried for your school as they seem totally clueless.

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Yes I will suggest this. There would inevitably be huge blow back to them doing this which might make them reluctant

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KarmenPQZ · 09/06/2026 21:42

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:27

The problem is it's then whack-a-mole. There are literally millions of similar websites I'm sure. It would be better if they had an approved list of sites they could access.

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You need to tell school that they should be whitelisting approved sites rather than blacklisting.

seriously worried for your school as they seem totally clueless.

Kuga26 · 09/06/2026 21:40

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:28

The way this particular site is structured I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be picked up by this unfortunately

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Just email the website address to the school and asked for it to be blocked.

Yes, more inappropriate sites may come along, but just keep doing the same. One inappropriate site at a time.

Don’t tell your kid though, as he’ll not tell you which cool sites he’s on in the future.

mrsbowes · 09/06/2026 21:35

The idea that kids need 8 years of doing their homework on Sparx to be able to use a (probably obsolete by then) technology in the workplace is silly.

Ipads benefit the school - less time and effort spent on setting/marking homework, money saved - not the kids.

There is significant downsides to children having devices like these.
Relying on the school eventually blocking new apps/sites as they discover them wouldn't be good enough for me at all.

Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 21:32

TeaPot496 · 09/06/2026 21:13

School safeguarding gets an alert and contacts the parents if appropriate, if students search for certain things on their iPads. The school can monitor literally everything they access, so there is that safety net too.

He's not searched for anything appropriate though, he's been sent a URL and clicked on it

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Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 21:31

Bubbles332 · 09/06/2026 21:16

iPads have a guided access setting in their accessibility features. You can make it so your child can’t navigate away from whatever page they’re on without having to input a passcode which you set. On YouTube there should be a tutorial which will show you how to set it up. You can also turn it on and off as necessary.

You shouldn’t really have to do it but I’m just sharing in case this info is useful to you or others. It’s a little-known but very useful feature.

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Thanks. This is good to know but would be a total nightmare during homework as it's a new page every few seconds!

I've actually realized I don't even know his login code

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Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 21:30

Picklesandfrickles · 09/06/2026 21:05

Ok theres two issues here, firstly make the school aware that there are websites that can be accessed which could be detrimental.

Secondly i think you need to unclench abit, he’s a 12/13 year old boy, who quite frankly is going to stop being so open with you if you keep reacting like this.

Having him do homework downstairs - verging on tears so you can control what he is accessing is overstepping IMO. Let him
do it in his bedroom.

He absolutely IS going to access things through his mates etc, and whilst i am 100% on board with internet safety and keeping kids safe online they also need exposure, you know abit like you learn from your mistakes.

You really do run the risk of him sneaking about etc in fear of missing out/ being left out.

Yes, I do worry about this, we give him a lot of freedom to go out with his mates etc but we are strict on tech. My partner is stricter than me.

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Bubbles332 · 09/06/2026 21:16

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:23

Yes there are some restrictions but they're not very helpful

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iPads have a guided access setting in their accessibility features. You can make it so your child can’t navigate away from whatever page they’re on without having to input a passcode which you set. On YouTube there should be a tutorial which will show you how to set it up. You can also turn it on and off as necessary.

You shouldn’t really have to do it but I’m just sharing in case this info is useful to you or others. It’s a little-known but very useful feature.

TeaPot496 · 09/06/2026 21:13

School safeguarding gets an alert and contacts the parents if appropriate, if students search for certain things on their iPads. The school can monitor literally everything they access, so there is that safety net too.

Seriouslyoverit · 09/06/2026 21:13

My DD has a school iPad which we pay for and it is completely locked down to only access school approved content. I think this is incredibly irresponsible of the school.

tttigress · 09/06/2026 21:09

I don't get the educational logic for iPads.

I realise that children need to be IT literate but an iPad isn't the solution. I mean I don't do my job on an iPad.

They seem to do more harm than good.

Picklesandfrickles · 09/06/2026 21:05

Ok theres two issues here, firstly make the school aware that there are websites that can be accessed which could be detrimental.

Secondly i think you need to unclench abit, he’s a 12/13 year old boy, who quite frankly is going to stop being so open with you if you keep reacting like this.

Having him do homework downstairs - verging on tears so you can control what he is accessing is overstepping IMO. Let him
do it in his bedroom.

He absolutely IS going to access things through his mates etc, and whilst i am 100% on board with internet safety and keeping kids safe online they also need exposure, you know abit like you learn from your mistakes.

You really do run the risk of him sneaking about etc in fear of missing out/ being left out.

Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 21:00

OneThreadOnlybyN · 09/06/2026 20:46

Why do you feel a bit mean?

Id feel a lot furious. I'd send a polite email basically asking the WTAF & asking why it's not set up to restrict it to permitted websites only.
Then take it from there.

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I feel a bit mean because I understand there are some kids whose families can't afford Netflix etc use it to watch (age appropriate) films. I feel mean taking it away from them.

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Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:59

Ponderingwindow · 09/06/2026 20:41

Report the site to the school. They will add it to the blacklist.

do you not get a weekly summary report on usage including things like search terms used and a list of sites visited by your child on the school device?

No!

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OneThreadOnlybyN · 09/06/2026 20:46

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:38

Okay, so I've looked into the site a bit more closely and I think it's been designed especially to bypass school security networks. I feel a bit mean but I will report to the school

Why do you feel a bit mean?

Id feel a lot furious. I'd send a polite email basically asking the WTAF & asking why it's not set up to restrict it to permitted websites only.
Then take it from there.

handmademitlove · 09/06/2026 20:45

Our school iPads are set up with controls but some of those controls come from the firewall on the school WiFi. They make it very clear to parents that if the devices connect via home WiFi, then parents need to be responsible for the filtering as an additional measure. Parents also have the option to not allow the iPads off school premises so they don't get taken home, but this can make homework trickier.

If you have WiFi at home, ask your service provider how to add filters. Almost all WiFi providers have the capability to do this.

Ponderingwindow · 09/06/2026 20:41

Report the site to the school. They will add it to the blacklist.

do you not get a weekly summary report on usage including things like search terms used and a list of sites visited by your child on the school device?

Original poster

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 09/06/2026 20:38

Okay, so I've looked into the site a bit more closely and I think it's been designed especially to bypass school security networks. I feel a bit mean but I will report to the school

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