AIBU to opt out of health visitor visits

Health visitors are optional so you absolutely don't need to see her if you don't want to, you can just tell them you're opting out. Unfortunately many of them are pretty useless and some have a very overinflated sense of their own importance!

The top allergists?!!! Please link me to the top allergist peer reviewed research. Here’s where I look for evidence based allergen advice https://www.bsaci.org/resources/allergy-management/food-allergy/allergy-prevention/early-introduction-of-food-allergens/ ps it’s my job.

The route HVs support is not generally hard line BLW as in put a piece of steak on their tray on day 7. It's more early promotion of finger feeding and exploring and having family meal times. Also not encouraging pouches and prepped ready meal type stuff.

We had a different HV every visit for each child. You could opt out or maybe just request a different one?

I mean, she’s right- but it’s up to you if you engage with her advice or not.

Nothing has said that early exposure to allergens will completely stop a child developing allergies but the advice is that it’s likely to help. 100% of allergies won’t be eradicated by early exposure but some are likely to be. Perhaps could be the difference of a child having 3 allergies or 1… worth that, no?

As for weaning, there’s reams on the benefits of BLW, but none for spoon feeding. I like a combo of both methods as I find positives in them both.

Haven’t seen a HV once and have had 3 babies. Sack her off you know what you’re doing

If your other children have severe allergy and have epi-pens as you say - they’ll have an NHS paeds allergy clinic.
I would seek their expert advice on introducing allergens to your baby. My middle son has an NHS paeds allergy clinic that is great.
if you don’t get on with your HV simply request another one.

The HV is correct about exposure to allergens but if you have lots in the family it may be worth getting a referral to a specialist dietitian or allergy specialist for tests or exposure under controlled medical conditions.

Weaning can be a bit of traditional purées and finger foods like a floret of broccoli, a finger of toast etc to help encourage self feeding and different textures.

if you are not gelling with your HV you are perfectly within your rights to ask for a different one rather than opt out all together.

Completely unnecessary. I would have opted out but covid happened and all contact ceased anyway after my baby was 2 weeks old.

I had to work with some HV a few years later and I asked if what they did if people declined the service - they said they just leave them to it, they had no time to follow it up.

Our HV had a weaning expert, who wasn't even a qualified HV. She told me that I shouldn't be feeding my DD2 any smooth purees, it must at least contain lumps. At that point any lumps caused DD2 to throw up the entire contents of her stomach, so all of the food plus milk. I was tempted to tell her that I'd happily feed lumpy food if she'd agree to come round and clear up the pools of vomit.

Well it does sound quite intense, I never went to the clinic and never heard from them again

Don’t do that. If you don’t want to engage don’t but please don’t tell a woman doing her job to fuck off, and don’t get a Neanderthal thug of a husband to chuck her out of the house. Use adult words and behaviours

She’s right that early exposure reduces risk. Of course if the child is severely allergic then they’re severely allergic and it doesn’t matter what time they’re introduced - you might as well know. First time is never that serious as you know

Yes, tell her to FUCK OFF.
My husband threw the health visitor out the house when she made me cry and refused to let her come back in. And when my second baby was born I was clear about not allowing the health visitor to do home visits afterwards. It’s your baby, your body and your choice.

Baby with siblings and parent with allergies will have a higher likelihood of allergies. This is well documented and should be understood by your HV.

My first had exposure to peanut throughout my pregnancy as I love peanut butter. Second time he had it at 6 months old he wiped it in his eye and came up with hives. Peanut and cashew allergy were determined from skin prick tests. Early exposure isnt a guarantee that no allergies are present

Just on the allergen thing, if you’re worried don’t hold off introducing them but introduce them slowly, just like you would with the egg or milk ladder where it’s just a teeny tiny amounts of the well baked/processed ones first, then more, then move up a wrung etc.
Peanut is supposed to be like a grain of rice sized amount peanut butter mixed with fruit purée or cereal, then pea sized, then 1/4 teaspoon and so on. There are some NHS links to introducing peanut and other allergens online.

As to the HV, you can opt out but I’d just request a new one. They can be really useful but if the relationship isn’t working then it isn’t working. I’m sure they’ll send someone else. I rarely see the same one twice.

They aren't, I'm not sure if pouches rather than jars play a part in this or if fear of choking is higher but the number of children referred for dysphagia and chewing/swallowing issues and it turns out to be lack of exposure to foods you have to chew is rising.

it was and should still be possible to wean a baby using puree then soft solids and a graded textured approach of you prefer. For some reason increasing numbers of people aren't managing to do so though

I have no idea how you’re getting so much HV attention! After the newborn phase I didn’t get anything until a questionnaire arrived in the post when they were around 1. But yes it’s an optional service and you can absolutely decline future visits as not needed and then make your own mind up as to whether or not you want the milestone checks.

But she’s not totally wrong on the allergies. However, if you have another DC under an allergy clinic I would ask them for advice and/or maybe discuss with the GP as you might be inadvertently making things worse by ignoring up to date advice. I do totally get your reluctance to trust a HV though and I’d want advice specific to my family from an actual doctor.

On weaning, traditional weaning was always a mix of finger foods and purees. The fingers foods are very important post 6 months for the development of things like speech, pincer grip and hand eye coordination. Maybe she’s misunderstood and thinks you’re only doing purees which has never been a thing except for v early weaning pre 6 months which is rarely done anymore.

It varies LA.
In my LA it’s prebirth check, 10-14 days, 6 weeks, 1and 2 year check. Same for all my friends.
If baby loses weight then they will be more frequent.

Also surprised the HV is seeing you - I think I saw one twice after my baby was born, within the first two weeks?

How often are you seeing her? With my DDs, contact significantly slowed after 6months, then the 1y check and the 2yr check. I only saw our HV more frequently for two specific (different) issues that both my DDs had. You can of course opt out if you want, but you might find you just dont really see her that much anymore anyway!

Im sorry youve had a poor experience - my HV was a lifesaver and I truly wish I could replicate her x1000!

On the weaning point, we did puree + finger food (and for DD2 very slow approach after she had a choking episode when I had to do back blows) and noone ever commented. BLW is popular but even Charlotte Stirling-Reed talks about purees + finger food so I dont think the HV should be too concerned about that.

I also think it’s odd you are having so many visits, where I am it was one visit after birth then the rest was at the baby clinic which you could go to if you wanted.. or not

Yeah I agree.

tbh I was unsure what traditional weaning was - I can’t imagine anyone just giving mush for months on end. My babies have all been so so keen for a bit of toast or omelette or picking up peas with their fingers. I can’t imagine someone stopping a baby trying to eat finger food