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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you find this weird…

121 replies

GoldfishMemory99 · 09/06/2026 16:10

Woman in her 30s with 3 children (oldest being 11) dating a 18 year old?

This person is a friend and wondering if I should take a step back from the friendship as I am weirded out by it. Aibu?

OP posts:
Original poster
GoldfishMemory99 · 09/06/2026 17:29

Dollymylove · 09/06/2026 17:26

Who said they were setting up home together?

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She’s got him living with her & her children, that is setting up home together.

OP posts:
thecuree · 09/06/2026 17:28

Dollymylove · 09/06/2026 17:25

No wonder kids are so stressed and anxious nowadays. Being told at 18 they are a "child".
They not children. They are old enough to vote, get married, serve in a warzone.
Oh and they can shag any consensual partner they wish

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Well you have fun then ! In my eyes a teenager is a child, they have zero life experience, they are still vulnerable and usually still living at home having their pants washed by their mommy!

Harriet36 · 09/06/2026 17:27

Dollymylove · 09/06/2026 17:26

Who said they were setting up home together?

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He's moved in with her.

MyMonthlyNameChange · 09/06/2026 17:27

Absolutely grim.

Harriet36 · 09/06/2026 17:27

Dollymylove · 09/06/2026 17:21

It will be all about sex. He's learning techniques from an older woman, she's getting plenty of rumpy pumpy from an energetic young man. Its unlikely to last. So, unclutch your pearls and stop with the judgements on other peoples LEGAL behaviour!!!

Rumpy pumpy? Which Carry On film have you just fallen out of?

Dollymylove · 09/06/2026 17:26

Harriet36 · 09/06/2026 17:25

Oh no, this is creepy. She probably sees herself as still being a teenager (heavily in denial) and can't see anything wrong with having such a young boyfriend. What do his parents think? If my teenage son set up home with a woman in her 30s, with children, I would be concerned.

Who said they were setting up home together?

Harriet36 · 09/06/2026 17:25

Oh no, this is creepy. She probably sees herself as still being a teenager (heavily in denial) and can't see anything wrong with having such a young boyfriend. What do his parents think? If my teenage son set up home with a woman in her 30s, with children, I would be concerned.

Dollymylove · 09/06/2026 17:25

thecuree · 09/06/2026 17:22

18 is a child, might be legally an adult but they could still be at school ffs

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No wonder kids are so stressed and anxious nowadays. Being told at 18 they are a "child".
They not children. They are old enough to vote, get married, serve in a warzone.
Oh and they can shag any consensual partner they wish

thecuree · 09/06/2026 17:24

I can’t believe some of the answers on here, woman are never at fault on Mumsnet are they?! If this post was “my 30 odd year old brother/ex is seeing an 18 year old” the replies would be much much different!

Firesidechatter · 09/06/2026 17:23

Dollymylove · 09/06/2026 17:21

It will be all about sex. He's learning techniques from an older woman, she's getting plenty of rumpy pumpy from an energetic young man. Its unlikely to last. So, unclutch your pearls and stop with the judgements on other peoples LEGAL behaviour!!!

That’s all sorts of creepy. Who says rumpy pumpy for goodness sake, shudder/

thecuree · 09/06/2026 17:22

Dollymylove · 09/06/2026 17:21

It will be all about sex. He's learning techniques from an older woman, she's getting plenty of rumpy pumpy from an energetic young man. Its unlikely to last. So, unclutch your pearls and stop with the judgements on other peoples LEGAL behaviour!!!

Ergh

thecuree · 09/06/2026 17:22

BauhausOfEliott · 09/06/2026 16:48

I think it depends on what's meant by 'dating'.

If they're just having the occasional shag, rather than an actual relationship, that's very different from, eg, planning to set up home and play happy families with him. The latter would be a lot weirder.

18 is a child, might be legally an adult but they could still be at school ffs

Firesidechatter · 09/06/2026 17:22

Yeah weird. I don’t think the age gap itself is the issue, 12 years can be fine, irs the fact he’s 18, just literally an adult, no life experience. And I’d also think the same if the genders were reversed.

Dollymylove · 09/06/2026 17:21

It will be all about sex. He's learning techniques from an older woman, she's getting plenty of rumpy pumpy from an energetic young man. Its unlikely to last. So, unclutch your pearls and stop with the judgements on other peoples LEGAL behaviour!!!

thecuree · 09/06/2026 17:21

Disgusting. Imagine that was the other way around ?

TeaPot496 · 09/06/2026 17:19

I wouldn't want to associate with her either, mainly because she is putting her children at risk and doesn't seem to have more than one braincell.

Original poster
GoldfishMemory99 · 09/06/2026 17:16

MiaKulper · 09/06/2026 17:01

@GoldfishMemory99 , That is not ok at all.
Presumably she is thinking with her fanny not her brain.

Yeah it’s really giving me the ick. Only two years older than my eldest! Going to drop her as a friend.

OP posts:
JollyGreenWatermelon · 09/06/2026 17:15

Somersetbaker · 09/06/2026 16:58

Nothing like as icky as Boris Johnson's current wife who is 24 years younger than him and is only 5 years older than his eldest acknowledged child. Though I do expect he's already road tested a newer model.

why is it icky?

If his wife was a friend of his daughter, that would be weird.
If she was an independent adult he met like he would meet anyone else, who cares.

As long as everybody is a consenting adult, context matters a lot more than age gaps

MiaKulper · 09/06/2026 17:01

@GoldfishMemory99 , That is not ok at all.
Presumably she is thinking with her fanny not her brain.

Somersetbaker · 09/06/2026 16:58

Nothing like as icky as Boris Johnson's current wife who is 24 years younger than him and is only 5 years older than his eldest acknowledged child. Though I do expect he's already road tested a newer model.

BauhausOfEliott · 09/06/2026 16:56

GoldfishMemory99 · 09/06/2026 16:55

No she’s moved him in after a month of “dating”.

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Then yes, that's weird.

Original poster
GoldfishMemory99 · 09/06/2026 16:56

MiaKulper · 09/06/2026 16:43

@GoldfishMemory99 , will your friend probably find herself pregnant?

Edited

Probably, she only just got out a relationship a few months ago with a 24 year old.

OP posts:
BauhausOfEliott · 09/06/2026 16:55

JollyGreenWatermelon · 09/06/2026 16:36

yes
wouldn't you?

It's less the age difference than the life gap that I would find very weird.

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Yes, I agree it's more the life gap that's the issue here.

When I was 19 I had a relationship with a man in his early 30s and it was honestly great - we had plenty in common and it was a lot of fun. We stayed friends for years after we split. But when we were together we were both just single independent adults. I was a full-time student and working part-time, he was working full-time and was a student part-time. Our lives were not that different. Neither of us had any real ties or responsibilities.

If he'd been the father of three kids, however, it would definitely have been weird.

Original poster
GoldfishMemory99 · 09/06/2026 16:55

BauhausOfEliott · 09/06/2026 16:48

I think it depends on what's meant by 'dating'.

If they're just having the occasional shag, rather than an actual relationship, that's very different from, eg, planning to set up home and play happy families with him. The latter would be a lot weirder.

No she’s moved him in after a month of “dating”.

OP posts:
NovemberMorn · 09/06/2026 16:53

Weird, no question.