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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you find this weird…

121 replies

GoldfishMemory99 · 09/06/2026 16:10

Woman in her 30s with 3 children (oldest being 11) dating a 18 year old?

This person is a friend and wondering if I should take a step back from the friendship as I am weirded out by it. Aibu?

OP posts:
MirandaWhatsUp · 09/06/2026 18:51

TY78910 · 09/06/2026 17:33

The thing with age gaps is it really depends on maturity doesn’t it. A 12 year age gap between an 18 year old and 30 year old feels different to that of a 45 year old and a 32 year old for instance because a 32 year old is likely to have lived through adulthood experiences. An 18 year old is more like a teenager where experience is concerned.

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Absolutely.

Original poster
GoldfishMemory99 · 09/06/2026 18:46

LadyLooo · 09/06/2026 18:40

I think some people have missed the drip feed about her moving him into her kid's home.

To be fair, the OP did bury it a bit.

Sorry it wasn’t an intentional drip feed, just didn’t want her stumbling onto the post whereas I know she wouldn’t read all the comments. Can’t be to careful these days!

Either way, I’m stepping back from the friendship.

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 09/06/2026 18:42

Dollymylove · 09/06/2026 18:41

Oh give it a rest FFS!!

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My mum (and her mum too) were married at 19.

Dollymylove · 09/06/2026 18:41

Nearly50omg · 09/06/2026 18:29

She’s near enough a peadophile in my opinion - dating a child under 20

Oh give it a rest FFS!!

LadyLooo · 09/06/2026 18:40

I think some people have missed the drip feed about her moving him into her kid's home.

To be fair, the OP did bury it a bit.

Namechangergtr · 09/06/2026 18:39

JollyGreenWatermelon · 09/06/2026 18:35

I am worried that so many posters on here have such twisted minds.

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I'm a social worker and if you think that's twisted you really have no idea about what goes on in the world.

Dollymylove · 09/06/2026 18:38

thecuree · 09/06/2026 17:28

Well you have fun then ! In my eyes a teenager is a child, they have zero life experience, they are still vulnerable and usually still living at home having their pants washed by their mommy!

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And they never will gain any life experience if they stay home having mummy washing their keks 🤣

Glasgowrache · 09/06/2026 18:36

Yeah that’s beyond odd.

XenoBitch · 09/06/2026 18:36

Nearly50omg · 09/06/2026 18:29

She’s near enough a peadophile in my opinion - dating a child under 20

I am not excusing what she is doing, but that is not what paedophilia is 🙄

JollyGreenWatermelon · 09/06/2026 18:35

Namechangergtr · 09/06/2026 18:33

Moving him in after a month? I'd be more worried about him using her to gain access to her children.

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I am worried that so many posters on here have such twisted minds.

Namechangergtr · 09/06/2026 18:33

Dollymylove · 09/06/2026 17:21

It will be all about sex. He's learning techniques from an older woman, she's getting plenty of rumpy pumpy from an energetic young man. Its unlikely to last. So, unclutch your pearls and stop with the judgements on other peoples LEGAL behaviour!!!

Moving him in after a month? I'd be more worried about him using her to gain access to her children.

Rhaidimiddim · 09/06/2026 18:31

MiaKulper · 09/06/2026 16:24

Would you find it weird if the woman was 18 and the man was in his 30s with 3 children?

Well I would.

Beigepjs · 09/06/2026 18:30

Good lord....completely unimaginable....MN and a parallel universe....how some people live.

Nearly50omg · 09/06/2026 18:29

She’s near enough a peadophile in my opinion - dating a child under 20

Dontlletmedownbruce · 09/06/2026 18:29

He's barely an adult. Legal yes, but also still a teenager. This feels very wrong and exploitative to me. I wonder what his home life is like, I'll bet he has had a tough time and is vulnerable.

LadyLooo · 09/06/2026 18:27

GoldfishMemory99 · 09/06/2026 16:55

No she’s moved him in after a month of “dating”.

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Well this is quite the little drip feed, isn't it?

In the opening post they're just dating.

Now she's moved him in with her and (presumably) all her children.

If this is genuine, I'm surprised you're not worried about yourself that you have to ask randoms if this is unreasonable.

LewKirtonHeavenInTheAfternoonNSOul · 09/06/2026 18:26

GoldfishMemory99 · 09/06/2026 16:55

No she’s moved him in after a month of “dating”.

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The 18 yr old will be happy no rules and sex on tap
I'm sure the novelty will wear thin having three kids around and playing hoosies.

giemepeace · 09/06/2026 18:24

Not just weird, but wrong. There is something wrong with age gaps when one person is very young, it’s an abuse of power.

And regardless of age, moving any man in with your three young children is very dangerous. Sex offenders often have begun to offend within their teenage years. I understand the desire to distance yourself but in some ways I’d be tempted to remain involved so I could keep an eye on the kids.

Original poster
GoldfishMemory99 · 09/06/2026 18:23

MiaKulper · 09/06/2026 17:43

How far into her 30s is she? Early, mid or late? Is she old enough to be his mother?

33 so technically yeah she could be his mother.

OP posts:
JollyGreenWatermelon · 09/06/2026 18:13

thecuree · 09/06/2026 17:24

I can’t believe some of the answers on here, woman are never at fault on Mumsnet are they?! If this post was “my 30 odd year old brother/ex is seeing an 18 year old” the replies would be much much different!

knowing how girls are supposed to be more "mature" than boys, people tend to be less weird that way, some expecting a 30yo man to have barely reach the maturity of an 18yo girl 😂

kkloo · 09/06/2026 18:10

I'd be disgusted and wouldn't be able to continue the friendship.

Pollqueen · 09/06/2026 18:05

MiaKulper · 09/06/2026 16:24

Would you find it weird if the woman was 18 and the man was in his 30s with 3 children?

Yep, this would be weird and if it was my 18 year old daughter I would not be happy at all

MiaKulper · 09/06/2026 17:43

How far into her 30s is she? Early, mid or late? Is she old enough to be his mother?

Lifeomars · 09/06/2026 17:34

Harriet36 · 09/06/2026 17:27

He's moved in with her.

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Now that is weird, it will be like having another kid in the house unless he is very mature and is going to pull his weight with the cooking and cleaning. Somehow I doubt this will happen.

TY78910 · 09/06/2026 17:33

MirandaWhatsUp · 09/06/2026 16:48

Yes it's weird. Age gaps aren't a problem per se, but age gaps initiated when someone is a teenager is wrong. I wouldn't end a friendship over it though as he's technically an adult.

The thing with age gaps is it really depends on maturity doesn’t it. A 12 year age gap between an 18 year old and 30 year old feels different to that of a 45 year old and a 32 year old for instance because a 32 year old is likely to have lived through adulthood experiences. An 18 year old is more like a teenager where experience is concerned.