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AIBU?

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Would you report neighbour?

138 replies

racetothebar · 09/06/2026 14:05

I am retired now so I am home all day but it’s been a while since I have had any children around but I used to be a childminder and found it exhausting, we went for walks in the woods, to the park, to the shops, we did messy play, painting, crafting, play doe and sand, read books and sang songs and I remember it being quite full on though this was 20 years ago.
My neighbour is at home all day with her little one who I’d say is almost 2 if not already.
She has no nets so unintentionally I can see into her living room from my bedroom which I sit in a lot as it’s sunny and I like to read by the window.
I notice she sits on the sofa looking at her phone almost all day and the little one just plays by himself, he has the telly on and she doesn’t play with him, doesn’t talk to him or look at him and he spends all day playing on the floor by himself.
Occasionally she will sit in the garden when the weather is nice with a full bottle of wine and put a few toys on the lawn while she sits on the lounger chair music in ears on staring at her phone.
The little boy is just playing by himself and she will drink the full bottle and then they’ll go in.
I hear the little one crying from about 6:30-7 so presumably she has put him to bed and he’s crying himself to sleep.

I don’t know them so haven’t spoken to them previously but I did see the mum and toddler in the local convenience store and said hello to the boy and mum said he doesn’t say anything yet.
I feel so sad that he spends all day watching tv and playing on the floor on his own while his mum ignores him on the sofa head in phone, I’ve no idea what she does but it’s constant.
No wonder he can’t talk if he’s never interacted with.

I have never seen anyone go to the house, she’s a very socially awkward and keeps herself to herself.
She has a husband but he leaves early and comes home late so it’s just the two of them all day.

Would you report for neglect?

OP posts:
SJM1988 · 09/06/2026 14:25

Stop spying on your neighbour.
Unless you are constantly watching through her windows you have no idea if you have caught her in the 10 mins she gets to have a warm cup of tea or if fact that is what she does all day.
If you are genuinely watching her all day and that is all she does and you see her every moment of the day....then report. But I doubt this is the case. You have seen a snapshot of her day and made a judgement about her.

AttachmentFTW · 09/06/2026 14:25

I think you're getting a bit of a hard time on here OP. I do agree with others that it's a bit weird you are so aware of what your neighbour is doing.

However, if as you say it's all day, everyday that she doesn't really interact with him then it is possible she is not meeting his emotional/social needs which is very serious. She may have her own stuff going on which makes it hard.

Someone above posted about him being fed, clean and healthy etc but that's not everything a child needs. And safeguarding is everyone's business.

I would contact local health visiting team, as he will be under them and just say what your concerns are. They can decide if they need to do an extra visit and offer support.

Flintstonerubble · 09/06/2026 14:24

No, but I might report you for being a peeping Tom. You must be gazing into her house for long periods to have gleaned all that information.

Seriously though if you you’re retired and home all day you could spend a little time getting to know your neighbour. You might just be the moral booster she needs to improve her routine.

I did just that a few years ago with my neighbour who is 30 odd years younger than me. We are friends now rather than neighbours.

vintedandminted · 09/06/2026 14:24

PaterPower · 09/06/2026 14:15

If a two year old isn’t at least trying to speak then I’d think some intervention’s needed. At the very least a home visit from the local Health Visitor.

In the circumstances you’ve described, OP, I would report this. They’re not going to remove the child (nor should they), but they might offer some targeted help, such as parenting classes or specialist help for the child.

If the child isn’t going to a playgroup then it’s more difficult for the ‘system’ to pick up that there’s an issue.

My child didn't speak at 2yrs. He's current studying for a linguistics degree. Mind your own.

olympicsrock · 09/06/2026 14:21

This does sound worrying to be honest. She sounds depressed . I don’t what what the right thing to do is but you could raise a concern if only that it may contribute towards a pattern of events if things worsen.

To those who have been rude - would you have said the same to the neighbours of baby P.

dottiedodah · 09/06/2026 14:18

As you get older it seems as though all you were doing was playing ,engaging with DC and so on.However I imagine you would also have a cup of tea or a break when they were asleep or playing with toys.Kindly I would not get involved.SS probably wouldnt be interested anyway . I would see if you can find a hobby which takes you outdoors!

PaterPower · 09/06/2026 14:15

If a two year old isn’t at least trying to speak then I’d think some intervention’s needed. At the very least a home visit from the local Health Visitor.

In the circumstances you’ve described, OP, I would report this. They’re not going to remove the child (nor should they), but they might offer some targeted help, such as parenting classes or specialist help for the child.

If the child isn’t going to a playgroup then it’s more difficult for the ‘system’ to pick up that there’s an issue.

Simbaonedaythiswillallbeyours · 09/06/2026 14:14

You sound very odd. Do you have nothing better to do than stalking your neighbour and judging her? Its quite frightening to read how much you watch her.

I think you need a hobby.

Couldyounot · 09/06/2026 14:12

LimbOnTheTreeTheTreeInTheHoleTheHoleInTheGround · 09/06/2026 14:11

You sounds absolutely obsessed with her.

Have you considered getting a hobby that doesn't involve spying on your neighbours?

This. Please try and get out of the house a bit more.

LimbOnTheTreeTheTreeInTheHoleTheHoleInTheGround · 09/06/2026 14:11

You sounds absolutely obsessed with her.

Have you considered getting a hobby that doesn't involve spying on your neighbours?

BauhausOfEliott · 09/06/2026 14:11

Assuming the child is clean, healthy, fed, dressed and has toys and entertainment, there's no neglect here and to be honest, you really need to stop staring into your neighbours' windows. You have no idea what their circumstances are. You don't know them. It's not a crime to have a glass of wine while your child plays. It's not a crime to watch TV. It's not a crime to parent children in a way that's different from the way you might do it.

Livingthebestlife · 09/06/2026 14:08

You need to get a hobby and stop spying on your neighbour.

youalright · 09/06/2026 14:07

No as its no where near a level of concern thats just crappy parenting and probably mental illness