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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to pause trying for a baby because of our wedding?

114 replies

MayasJam · 09/06/2026 11:11

Hi,

We are due to get married April 2027 - venue booked, some vendors booked, dress bought.

We have been trying for a baby for 7 months - not happened yet. My dilemma is I'm 39 - soon to be 40 in a couple of months - so already on the older side of TTC. Should we take a break TTC for 3 months to give time for wedding to take place. Carry on TTC, see what happens, and move wedding if needed depending on dates?

OP posts:
weareallcats · 09/06/2026 11:27

I would postpone or bring forward the wedding, rather than lose months of ttc at almost 40.

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/06/2026 11:25

Ooh no, keep ttc.

Thistimearound · 09/06/2026 11:25

And what do you mean by pausing by 3 months OP? - do you mean you don’t mind being pregnant at the wedding but don’t want to be 8-9 months pregnant or have a tiny newborn?

In which case I think those concerns would be valid but if a pregnancy did happen you’d have to just take it as a wonderful miracle and change the wedding. Either moving it forward a few months or just going to a Register Office in maternity clothes and postponing the party side of things.

Overthebow · 09/06/2026 11:22

At 39 I wouldn’t wait. I’d go with TTC over a wedding.

Thistimearound · 09/06/2026 11:20

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/06/2026 11:13

I would pause. A few months wouldn’t make much difference, I don’t think.

I wouldn’t have wanted to be pregnant at my wedding. I would want to have a drink, and I wouldn’t want to be restricted in what I chose for the food menu - and definitely not to be avoiding lovely thinks I had chosen!

But wouldn’t the pause be nearly a year? Until April 2027?

10 months is a long time while TTC at 39/40.

sprigatito · 09/06/2026 11:20

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/06/2026 11:13

I would pause. A few months wouldn’t make much difference, I don’t think.

I wouldn’t have wanted to be pregnant at my wedding. I would want to have a drink, and I wouldn’t want to be restricted in what I chose for the food menu - and definitely not to be avoiding lovely thinks I had chosen!

It blows my mind that anyone would put TTC on hold for months at nearly 40, just so they could have a drink and enjoy a party 🤯

ifonly4 · 09/06/2026 11:18

Another one for Team Baby here.

Beachbeachbaby · 09/06/2026 11:16

Keep trying for the baby

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 09/06/2026 11:14

A wedding is one day and a baby is (hopefully!) a lifetime...

At your age keep going.

I'd rather have a baby and buy a different dress vs the alternative.

Pootles34 · 09/06/2026 11:13

No weddings are here and then gone, baby is more important. Hope it all works out for you!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/06/2026 11:13

I would pause. A few months wouldn’t make much difference, I don’t think.

I wouldn’t have wanted to be pregnant at my wedding. I would want to have a drink, and I wouldn’t want to be restricted in what I chose for the food menu - and definitely not to be avoiding lovely thinks I had chosen!

cannynotsay · 09/06/2026 11:13

Just got for it.

WhatYouWearing · 09/06/2026 11:13

Personally I wouldn’t stop. A wedding could wait.

RoseField1 · 09/06/2026 11:13

I wouldn't given your age and the fact that you haven't got pregnant yet. You can get married while pregnant or move it.