To report my ex’s relationship with teacher to the school

There’s nothing illegal or wrong about it. My BiL is a teacher. His child goes to the school he teaches at. Should he report himself for being married to the parent of a student ?

I would love to be a fly on the wall if you do "report" it as you have nothing to report.

You would get laughed at hard.

I am slightly concerned that a number of people have said the teacher might be horrible to the children in future if OP causes any trouble...is this common practice? Would it not be very easy to prove the teacher was being vindictive because of past history?

How awful there are teachers out there who will victmise children just because of how their parent/parents acted. There is not a chance I would let that lie!

Do not report her. She has done nothing in this. Your ex sounds nasty and she will no doubt find out. I doubt the sex stuff is true and refuse to believe that she was laughing at lack of sex life. That would be a weird thing to raise and laugh at. She didn't do that, he is being vindictive and pressing your buttons.

Perhaps you need to communicate with him via an app that is purely functional, take away his power not her job. For all you know she does not see this as a relationship yet.

If it's just based on cheap shags and little else what is the problem then?

Sounds like a ‘relationship’ based on cheap shags and little else.

Yes it could be … then again it could be a committed relationship with a healthy enjoyable sex life for both parties .. you have no way of knowing .

You sound relieved not to be with him. Remember that and concentrate on enjoying your life.

She most likely has already declared the relationship, so you'll just come off looking bitter. Plus, why is it the teacher's fault that the ex is texting awful things? They probably aren't even true and you'd punish her for his transgressions? Not very fair!

I understand why it hurts and why you feel like this but please don't act rashly in anger.

Report him for what?

They are both grown adults.

You need to move on from all this toxicity.

Obsessing about getting revenge on your ex like this rather than focusing on building a new life for yourself is not healthy.

Just ignore the fool. Life has a way of sorting itself out.

Personally I wouldn’t do it OP. Be the bigger person. People will tell you on here that you’re being crazy but I’m sure they wouldn’t like their dc teacher screwing their ex.

I’m in a similar situation. I’m pretty sure ds teacher either fancies or is involved with my XH. She refuses to speak to me at drops off and pick ups and gets the TA to do so. My friend has also told me she makes a beeline for XH whenever he is doing pick ups. Was also told by another school mother that they heard her give me a backhanded compliment to the other teachers on a recent school trip.

I’ve decided to just kill her with kindness. On the rare occasion she does come to speak to me, I’m very polite. I just chuckle silently as xh is handsome but a complete and utter nightmare to deal with. Very welcome to my sloppy seconds.

Report her for what? Having a consensual relationship?

He probably have shown her already all the harassing messages you sent, and the wind-up replies he sent you.

You already gave him proof of the bitter ex in black and white.

I work in a school. There's no need to let them know if dating a parent.

I agree with this. If it was me I would absolutely want to know that the person I was dating was sharing intimate details about me, because I would never be okay with that and they'd be immediately dumped.

Problem here is I don't think that you would be able to do this solely for caring about the woman. You have called her a cheap shag. I bet she doesn't think that, and it's not her fault.

But absolutely do not report the relationship to the school. You will most certainly come across as 'the crazy ex wife'.

How is it her fault that your ex is a shit cunt?

Don’t be silly.

There is nothing to be achieved. The head teacher/governors/ whoever you plan to report her to, really won’t care. You obviously don’t realise that teachers are allowed to relationships with parents. You don’t know that she hasn’t already declared it.

I’m a teacher and my partner is a fellow teacher who I met in school. One of the TAs is now married to a parent whose child used to be in her class. A lot of our staff have pupils who attend the school. I haves friends from a different school who is in a long term relationship with a pupils parent. It’s all very normal and not the big drama you think it is.

Why did he start telling you about his sex life?
Can u not block or call.him to stop such crap being mentioned.
We had a parent date then married a parent.
Im sure unless she is the current teacher why does it matter?
Tell him to cut the crap.
It does seem to be a unhinged plot to try upset the teacher rather fire it to the creep you parent with.
Or ignore... switch to email only contact.

Does she teach your child? Or will she in the future? I wouldn’t be keen on it due to them seeing each other at weekends, might it blur the teacher/pupil relationship boundary too much?

The school won't care, the professional issue for her would be if you were the type to read the messages out loud to your six closest mum friends at the gate for pick-up so they could support you in your distress.

However, I don't think you should do that as it could be construed as harassment and will definitely not improve your child's time at the school!

Yes, immediately rang bells with me too.

First post nails it.

Don’t take it out on her. It sounds like you’re best off out of it.

Also if their relationship ends badly - which it most definitely will (you might expedite the process by declaring this non issue) - your child could end up caught in the crossfire. She might take it out on your child (if she's half as petty as both of you). Just extremely shortsighted juvenile behaviour.

Yep... I remember it. I think that's why the OP did a name change.

Does this sound familiar to anyone else.
I seem to recall reading similar not long ago.