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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who should pay for the dog?

36 replies

JollyGreenLemur · 08/06/2026 17:31

So my mum bought a dog 7 years ago and she already had a dog, her other dog then had an operation on his leg and couldn't play so I put in 2 weeks holiday at work to have her new dog at my house while the other 1 rested, this turned into 6 or 8 weeks then she had her new dog back, I paid for her new dog some training as she wasn't good on a lead (part spaniel) and took her out for walks.
A few years later her other dog then got cancer and maxed her pet insurance and my mum doesnt work so i paid for her "New" dogs dog food, pet insurance, vet bills and for her to go to the groomers, I didn't mind as she didn't have the money and I was in full time work with my bills and mortgage getting paid without struggling.
Now I have 2 kids, a toddler and a baby, im on maternity while January, my partner is in full time work but we are having to be very careful with our money especially as I won't get any money the last 3 months of my maternity, my mum still doesnt work and shes waiting for her pension which I think she gets next year, her other dog has now died and she refers to this dog as a shared dog, I pay and she has her kind of share.
Aibu to stop paying for this dog?

OP posts:
SALaw · 08/06/2026 18:30

JollyGreenLemur · 08/06/2026 18:11

Originally it was to help her out but its carried on and now I can't afford it

My question is why has it carried on?

olympicsrock · 08/06/2026 18:20

Just stop!

ShodAndShadySenators · 08/06/2026 18:18

I would tell her that your circumstances have changed and you cannot afford to subsidise her dog any more. How is she likely to respond?

Two2TooAlsoToToward · 08/06/2026 18:15

Just tell her that—when you had 2 dogs, I was in full time work with no dependents, and that has changed. I’m on unpaid maternity leave with 2 dependents now, so I’m no longer in a position to subsidise your pet care. I’m sure this won’t be an issue Mum, as I was initially helping you with two and now you only have one. Then go silent and stop talking (sales technique).

JollyGreenLemur · 08/06/2026 18:11

SALaw · 08/06/2026 17:49

Why?

Originally it was to help her out but its carried on and now I can't afford it

OP posts:
JollyGreenLemur · 08/06/2026 18:09

Redlocks30 · 08/06/2026 17:44

Why are you paying for your mum
to have pets she can’t afford-she sounds a very irresponsible owner! How old is she (59? 66?) and is there a good reason why she can’t work and pay for this dog?

Shes 64, she doesnt have a good reason

OP posts:
SALaw · 08/06/2026 17:49

JollyGreenLemur · 08/06/2026 17:41

I currently pay for vet bills, dog food and groomers and i take my mum and her dog to these appointments, me paying for her dog never stopped after her other dog died

Why?

Redlocks30 · 08/06/2026 17:44

Why are you paying for your mum
to have pets she can’t afford-she sounds a very irresponsible owner! How old is she (59? 66?) and is there a good reason why she can’t work and pay for this dog?

JollyGreenLemur · 08/06/2026 17:41

SALaw · 08/06/2026 17:33

It’s unclear what you pay? You say that a few years after the first training you paid for insurance, food etc but not what you pay now? And why you pay anything now?

I currently pay for vet bills, dog food and groomers and i take my mum and her dog to these appointments, me paying for her dog never stopped after her other dog died

OP posts:
Buzzer3555 · 08/06/2026 17:35

Really as it's your mum's dog she should pay. I think the problem is she has expectations that you will pay because you always have. It's time to make it clear that your circumstances have changed and you just can't afford it.

SALaw · 08/06/2026 17:33

It’s unclear what you pay? You say that a few years after the first training you paid for insurance, food etc but not what you pay now? And why you pay anything now?

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