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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find people who refuse to embrace technology irritating?

378 replies

Sophiehoney · 08/06/2026 16:37

I don't mean people who genuinely struggle

I am irritated with people who absolutely refuse to even try.
I am sure a lot of the time they do it on purpose. They use the whole "I don't do technology" thing as a personality trait, to be quirky and "not like all you young people" when simply being a bit older is not a reason in itself, as Mumsnet proves!!

People at my work are moaning like hell because the system of filling in patients notes at the end of the shift in a book with a pen has been replaced by handheld devices (basically phones) that are more secure and can be completed on the go. They are so simple but some people are refusing to learn so others are filling their notes in for them.

A lady at the doctor's today point blank refused to even try to sign herself in on the machine. It was literally just a case of pressing a button and then filling in a form with her name and DOB using a keyboard. She declared proudly "I'm not doing this, I don't do technology, I don't even have a mobile phone!" And made he poor stressed receptionist with a line of people waiting come out and do it for her.

My mum will pop round a million times a week with "something she needs me to on her iPad" and it's usually just something trivial like reading an email and sending a one line reply that I know she is capable of. I've stated getting my 13 year old to do and she pays him £1 every time so every cloud 🤷

But these people do irritate me when they expect others to pick up their slack by refusing to try.

AIBU?

OP posts:
CaesarAugusta · 09/06/2026 08:38

My mother used to be like this, going way back. We were the last people I know to get a normal washing machine because for some reason she decided it wasn't for her, and she wouldn't contemplate a dishwasher. She wouldn't consider getting anything like a magimix, though she did eventually allow a really basic electric mixer. My father was very computer literate, but one of the first things my mother did after he died was to cancel the wifi contract as she had no intention of ever going on the internet. She was a dreadful driver and gave up in her 60s, much to everyone relief. Even with things like the TV remote, she would stab away at it in a distrustful way and could never remember the numbers of her favourite channels.

I suppose that she was the equivalent of people like the Luddites, and those who didn't trust cars or even the wheel when they they were invented. I thought it was a real pity, because she just made her life more difficult, and with things like the internet she missed out on an awful lot that she would have enjoyed, especially when she was on her own.

Sophiehoney · 09/06/2026 08:38

Whyarepeople · 08/06/2026 18:50

Having worked in this area for a long time, I would say that 'refusers' are usually people who genuinely struggle. They tend to cover it up and make out it's a choice as a way of protecting their ego, which I think is totally understandable. It's very hard to admit that their brain simply won't get to grips with a screen.

As another poster mentioned, some people are functionally illiterate, so having to read everything instead of talking to people is a total disaster for them. Then there are others who are good at reading and can easily leaf through a written form, but when they are faced with an app, they get very lost and confused and can't conceptualise how the screens follow on from each other. This isn't a faked thing - I've seen very competent people almost in tears trying to navigate something because they don't quite understand how the whole structure fits together (bad design is often to blame for this). Having enough negative experiences - losing money, missing appointments, cancelling things by mistake - puts people off and makes them reject tech entirely.

Incidentally my 13 year old daughter mentioned today that they have to do a media assignment for english involving a poster. She's arty so she was excited about hand-drawing it and had it planned when the teacher said they had to do it on the computer and they could use AI. As she said - What's the point in that? She said she's going to hand draw it, take a picture and get AI to make it look AI generated! What a waste of her time and talent.

That is absolutely tragic

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 09/06/2026 08:36

I find them refreshing.

And a good reminder that systems have to also cope for old people and non tech savvy people.

We will all be old one day. I don't want a robot to take over my banking etc due to systems not coping with my human frailty.

Malasana · 09/06/2026 08:32

Waitingforthistopass75 · 08/06/2026 16:55

Not quite answering your point, but I get grossed out by the pad at the doctors. Lots of ill people have been touching it and I don’t want to. I do, because it’s the sensible thing to do, but I wish I didn’t have to.

I’m the same. I hate using the filthy germ ridden screen and avoid it if I can. Im
also not thrilled that it displays my details
in large letters for people behind to read. When I speak to the receptionist I do it in a lowered voice to protect my privacy.

PatNoodle · 09/06/2026 08:31

I see it on here all the time with posters saying they don't know how to post a link or a photo etc. If you can navigate around a forum like this, I'm pretty sure you can copy and paste a link

CaesarAugusta · 09/06/2026 08:29

Monty36 · 08/06/2026 17:05

Some people will manage it, and look forward to new things. Others will be frightened of it. Some will feel completely lost.
If you were never taught how to really use a computer it will be all the harder to learn.

I dislike those appointments things in the Dr’s. Not because I cannot use it but because I have never ever seen anyone clean the thing. I suspect they are filthy.

Why not just pop into the loos to wash your hands, or take sanitiser with you?

toddlertoenail · 09/06/2026 08:28

@Flamingojunenope she doesn’t , used to but can’t now due to her health.

scalt · 09/06/2026 08:17

I had to change a headlight bulb on my Vauxhall Astra yesterday. What is it Mumsnet the books say? “It is illegal to drive with a bulb not working, and you should carry a set of spare bulbs in your car, so you can carry out a quick roadside repair”. Indeed, in some countries, it’s compulsory to carry spare bulbs.

This “quick roadside repair” involved turning the steering all the way to the right, reaching up through the wheel arch, getting my hands dirty, reaching inside to undo a fiddly clip which you can’t see because your hand is in the way, inserting the new bulb without touching the glass, and putting it all back together, totally blindly. Imagine doing this at the side of the motorway, at night, in pouring rain.

”Quick roadside repair” my arse. And I gather that some cars are even worse: you have to take the whole front grille off to get to the bulbs. These things are not designed with the user in mind.

NooNakedJacuzziness · 09/06/2026 08:09

Tech can be frustrating when it’s forced on you in difficult situations. An elderly relative fell recently, broke his hip. It was outside and very dark. I phoned an ambulance and they said they’d be there as soon as poss. While waiting for them someone else phoned to do an assessment. They sent me a link to click on which then opened a camera, I couldn’t see a frigging thing and nor could they really. Almost accidentally cut them off while trying to open the link. Relative doesn’t do tech and was trying to speak to them on my phone as best he could while lying in agony. I do get why people get to the end of their tether

LathkillDale · 09/06/2026 08:07

5foot5 · 08/06/2026 22:07

I don't understand the hate for parking apps. I use one all the time and it's very convenient. Obviously easier than paying cash as you don't need to worry about having the right change. But also, IMO, easier than paying with a card. You can pay without leaving your car, no need to wander to the other side of the car park to find the machine, and if you realise you need to extend your parking time you can do it without returning to your car

DH and I both have mobile phones, running on O2 basically. On street parking charges were introduced in our town a couple of years ago. We cannot get 02 reception on one of the main streets in town. DH complained to our district councillor about it. The district councillor went and tried it out on his own phone. He admitted he couldn’t get reception on 02 either. That’s why we don’t like parking apps.

As for screens, my mother is in her 80s. She doesn’t have a smart phone; and she has macular degeneration. She cannot see screens such as those at self service checkouts in shops, or at the doctors.

Flamingojune · 09/06/2026 08:04

I embrace anything that makes my life easier from robot hoovers to supermarket deliveries and every app in between.

cramptramp · 09/06/2026 08:02

I don’t really care if they want to make their lives more difficult. I do care if they expect, or want me to do things for them. I’ve started refusing.

TheChicDreamer · 09/06/2026 08:02

I worked with someone like this. She wouldn’t even own a smart phone. I have no idea how she’s coping now 😄 It was as if she was morally superior to the rest of us (she was also a raging narcissist so I guess that fitted).

Flamingojune · 09/06/2026 08:01

toddlertoenail · 09/06/2026 00:54

My MIL is firmly in the ‘I don’t do technology camp’ she doesn’t even use internet / phone banking.

As PP highlight though I also despise using the touch screen at our Drs surgery 🤢 especially since they removed the hand gel they had next to it!!

Does she use cars?

scalt · 09/06/2026 07:57

Hard-to-use tech is nothing new: I remember an article in New Scientist in the mid 90s about this, before internet at home was a thing. It listed video recorders and photocopiers as two of the hardest machines to operate, both being covered in tiny buttons you almost never use. My grandmother once despaired because if you pressed “play” more than once, it went into a mode of automatically stopping playing after half an hour.

It also pointed out inconsistencies between machines: ticket machines for national rail wanted the destination first, then the ticket type; on machines for London Underground, it was the other way round. Woe betide you if you got this wrong: you were punished with an error message, and made to wait for the machine to reset, with a queue behind you.

Also having to use a remote control while looking at intricate text on the TV screen: not easy for those with bad eyesight, if they have to change from one to the other.

Modern machines also have lots of silent built-in delays. With my TV, you switch it on, and it’s fifteen whole seconds before you can actually use it, once it has faffed around displaying the logo (as if we care about that!). Yes, it’s probably to hide a complicated internal start-up routine. Even the old CRT televisions were quicker. I’ve had to train my parents not to press buttons more than once; often you press something, and nothing happens apart from a teeny hourglass appearing, so they think it hasn’t worked; and they press again. They get channel 222 instead of 2. With old TVs, there was a big clunk when you changed channel: you knew for certain it had happened. My dad used to despair about what he called “the breasts”: if you pressed a certain button accidentally, ^^ would appear on the screen, meaning it wanted a double digit channel, and the only way to clear this was to switch the set off and on again (Bill Gates’s answer to everything).

Thepeopleversuswork · 09/06/2026 07:49

I agree about professional technophobes. Unreasonable in 2026 to “not do” technology. You can’t simply refuse to do something which the entire system relies on and expect the world to accommodate your ineptitude.

But I do find it absolutely maddening that apps are now required for every transaction whether it’s online banking or buying a KitKat. Perfectly reasonable if it’s something you need to do on a daily or weekly basis but I don’t want to or have time to download a new app, register, set up a password and enter my bank details for a service or product I am only to buy or use once.

FannyNesbet · 09/06/2026 07:26

I dislike the automated everything. I make a point to not use self checkout tills at the shops, for example, and I'm sure there are other 'tech' things I personally boycott. If that bothers you, I understand but I'm still not doing it. So, you're not unreasonable, because you're entitled to your opinion and preferences, but it doesn't change everyone else being entitled to theirs.

Amiacoolorwarmcolour · 09/06/2026 07:23

I am on the fence about this.
An awful number of adults are illiterate. I have had people tell me they cannot check their details because they cannot read. There are also a lot of people who just can’t be bothered. They expect someone else to do the work for them.

Lifestooshort71 · 09/06/2026 06:52

I'm mid 70s and am fine with most technology but I can't quite bring myself to add my bank card to my wallet. So I do everything else and then have to dig around for my physical card to complete the purchase. In the back of my mind I still hear my mother saying 'Don't trust computers, one day the Chinese will flip a switch and totally control us!' Perhaps, as we've got older, we've just decided where our tech boundaries are.

Violinist64 · 09/06/2026 01:22

Noshadowsinthedarkness · 08/06/2026 16:49

I actually think people should have the option at the Drs and I say that as someone who always uses the screen. There are lots of reasons someone might be hesitant to use it that you can’t see.

The work example is daft and like it or lump it, it’s part of work life now!

Ageed.

OtterlyAstounding · 09/06/2026 01:12

Overtheatlantic · 08/06/2026 18:15

My dear I can assure you that my vocabulary is not limited. There’s no need to write such a vicious response to my contribution to the thread. Jog on.

But Luddite literally is just the appropriate word to use for a person who is reluctant to use new technology.
I hear people use it both as a complaint: "Oh, John's such a Luddite, I have to do all the online banking for him" as well as a personal descriptor: "I'm a bit of a Luddite - I hate having to use apps for everything, and much prefer physical cards."
It's not a fancy, pretentious term.

On the general topic, I'm savvy with most tech as a Millennial who has kept up with advances in recent years, but as in my example, I hate things that try to require apps for everything.

My phone is laggy as fuck with many apps and I don't always have mobile data, so I much prefer to use my bank card or physical shop club cards, as it's so much faster. I don't think things should require digital, online access to use if they mean a person must have their own device and internet connection.

TempestTost · 09/06/2026 01:09

I understand the feeling, I have a few patrons at work who loudly say they can't do computers because they are too old.

However, I think it's really more complex. Typing with zero typing skills is in fact very slow and difficult. And requires someone to help at first, until you have had to help someone you don't realise how much you do automatically. And many older people are dealing with poor vision, arthritis, and other limitations. Some can't read well.

Many people are tired out by the constant changes. I see many people now who are not elderly at all becoming frustrated with things like 2 factor authentication. It's even worse when you don't realise the problem is the software being fucking aeful, not you yourself.

I also still remember when cell phones were first bec ok ming widespread and so e people complained that they didn't want to be expected to carry them. The early adopters types all mocked that and said of course no one would ever have to carry one if they didn't want to. What a bunch of dilly Luddites to we orry about that.

Well, here we are.

Gtfc · 09/06/2026 00:57

YABU. A lot of technology now is a pain in the arse that means more work for the end user. A simple transaction or task turns into downloading apps, creating passwords, creating new passwords when the one you pick is deemed unsuitable by a bot, proving you are human, to a bot, scrolling through t&C's to prove that yes you consent to giving over your first born if you accidentally tick the wrong box, 2fa, signing into your bank every time you spend £2. And at the end of it your data gets hacked, your bank account gets raided and nothing is really secure anyway. Plus most of the internet is now full of shit .

That lady in surgery, it takes more of her time fucking around with the screen than it does telling the receptionist her name. Why should she do that? She's not getting a wage. None of us are, for operating these endless fucking apps and processes.

toddlertoenail · 09/06/2026 00:54

My MIL is firmly in the ‘I don’t do technology camp’ she doesn’t even use internet / phone banking.

As PP highlight though I also despise using the touch screen at our Drs surgery 🤢 especially since they removed the hand gel they had next to it!!

SquirrelGG · 09/06/2026 00:45

Dollymylove · 08/06/2026 20:18

Same with supermarket shopping. People moaning about refusing to use self scan because they "dont get get paid to scan their own shopping" Self scan has been around for years!! And they refuse to use scan and shop but will stand in a long queue, unload all their shopping on the conveyor belt, then pack it all again. And its not just elderly people. Lots of older people have smart phones etc, even in their 80s!!

So? If they are happy enough to do that then how does it affect you? I won't use self scan myself, I don't care how long it has been around. The prices are astronomical these days and I don't see why I should do the work as well as pay for the goods. Where I live the checkout staff pack the groceries, but even if they didn't I would still go through the checkouts - and many, many, other people seem happy to do the same. I actually prefer to talk to a person rather than have a machine barking at me. Too many people already seem unable to interact with other humans, it's only going to get worse.