AIBU to force DD (15) to go to school for all of "doss week"?

I don’t quite understand what the school is doing, however if the school is not running their usual curriculum, I wouldn’t send child to school if they were going to be alone.

Occasionally it is ok to break the rules, the trick is deciding which ones. And bunking one day at school and shoplifting are not imo the same thing. But each to their own.

It sounds like these are the subjects that your kids school doesn't prioritise and this is their meeting the minimum legal requirements. It's clearly gone wrong if it has the reputation as a doss week and so many people are bunking off.

It's not about one day. It's about learning about structure and discipline. If a child says they don't want to do something and you say ok, you have instantly taught them that they don't need to follow societal structure. What happens when they don't want to go to work one day? Or don't want to stick to a speed limit? Or don't want to pay for the mars bar they want? You've taught them that occasionally it's ok, to break the rules.

I made DD go in for one day of hers and not only did she have a miserable day but she really resented me and saw me as being much harsher than other parents and wanting to prioritise the system and the rules over her. So I do actually listen to her now! I did reassure myself by checking in with a couple of friends whose DC are in the same year but not in DD’s friendship group and their info matched what DD was telling me. We’ve been taking the same approach through GCSEs and have been selective in which compulsory revision sessions she attends.
I am curious whether it wa always like this or whether this is a post Covid thing. I was never allowed to miss a day of school unless properly ill but then one of my parents taught there which made it a bit awkward!

The school is going to an effort to have visitors come in , put on sports day, do re classes (pretty important - not sure why it’s left to one week though). To just opt out for no good reason other than I can’t be bothered when it’s actually not an optional event is disrespectful. Maybe she will learn some valuable things

Yes’m have to engrain the know your place, don’t be disrespectful to your betters, doff the cap Guv’nor so she’s ready for even ridiculous work demands as an obedient worker bee.

If we all were trained to think like this, women would never have won equal pay or maternity leave.

I don’t think she has got 100% attendance if she’s had authorised absence just as a semantic point - illness is also authorised absence, and if she’s off doing something else, she’s off.

I agree, and think the fudging of attendance stats is also weird. It’s like OP cannot bear to admit to less than 100% attendance it’s that important to her.

Attendance is 100%. No illness due to good fortune; some authorised absence for competing in sport at a high level. She is somehow predicted straight 9s but doesn't seem to do much study.
She was/is a similar 100% attendance, high-achieving student

It is kind of weird that you subconsciously value attendance more than academic achievement. These sentences are examples of how your description of your DC always prioritises attendance for first mention before commenting on academics. Even though you admit attendance is down to good fortune you seem to value it more.

I would send her in. Sometimes weird stuff happens, like because she’s not with her usual friends she gets chatting to someone different and makes a new friend. Or maybe it’s just a bit rubbish and she feels a bit bored or a bit out of her normal comfort zone, copes with it and comes home. Unless you really think her mental health is poor or there’s genuinely something awful happening, I’d err on the side of just getting out there and getting it done. I think there are times when an unexpected/unplanned day off is definitely a good thing, but I don’t think this is that.

I would let her have the one day off. Not the whole day.

I would also stop calling it doss week. RE is not just an optional or worthless subject either - it’s the nearest to getting an sort of philosophy teaching our kids have for one thing.

I don’t think she has got 100% attendance if she’s had authorised absence just as a semantic point - illness is also authorised absence, and if she’s off doing something else, she’s off.

All this said, my dd has managed to find ways out of sports day throughout school - she got straight 9s in GCSEs and is perfectly fit and healthy but just not into doing sports at school. Shes not one to just bunk off anything she doesn’t like so I give her a pass on this one thing!

Of course she has to go in. The school are going to an effort to make nice activities for them, it’s disrespectful not to go unless I’ll (or other good reason) and isn’t going to create a good attitude for work.

Or her friends lied to her or her friends are skipping no matter what their parents decide. Her lying is one of many possibilities that fit that facts.

I would let her have the day but would not lie to the school.

Such a shame that the sickness bug has made her feel awful the whole week.

They do the entire annual RE lessons in a couple of days?!? Why on earth does the school structure it like that rather than timetable it throughout the year like normal? It’s very intense, potentially boring for many children to have the same subject for days, and if any child is off (for valid reasons or otherwise) they have missed the entire statutory RE! Very bizarre.

I remember my “doss week” because I absolutely hated the two days of sports. The only day I liked was the drama and arts days. I got my Nan to write me a note getting me out of the second sports day due to unexpectedly coming on my period and suffering with “ severe cramps and nausea “ 🤣 she still reminds me to this day and she’s almost 80 now.

What’s happening on the Weds? I’m assuming it’s not a trip day. Like why are all 3 off then? ! Why can’t they all just go in and be together…