AIBU to expect proper condom disposal and not being left inside me?

We laugh when we see the sex scenes on TV ending with everyone all naked and cosy and asleep wrapped around each other, having immediately gone into a golden sex induced coma. Because that is NOT real life. Real life is shuffling to the loo afterwards and then complaining you're now cold 🤣

No, OP, this is very true information. I would encourage you to have a read about this. The penis may not go in the urinary tract but there's a lot of fluids going on and mixing around down there and things don't just stay in the vagina.

Plus, if you're having sex with people you don't yet know very well, you don't know what they might be bringing to the party.

I heard this advice over 30 years ago, doubt it’s changed. Please look this up.

it’s good advice

your reply is just snide and PA

100% what I would say too! I would want to know where it was 🤷‍♀️

Clearly you shouldn't be having sex.

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ you cannot be serious

3 or 4 times of which twice he somehow left the condom in you?! That’s a terrible ratio.

Oh my.

Yep. I don't know a single woman who doesn't pee after sex. We even make jokes about the shuffle to the bathroom. I have never not known to pee after sex.

I was on your side until this one OP! It’s sensible advice that doesn’t warrant a snide remark like that.

HIV is now nowhere near the scary thing it was in the 80s. It's a long-term condition requiring medication but considered easier to manage than say type 1 diabetes or long COVID.

Obviously you don't want to have it or any of the other STIs but there is treatment available if needed.

The sexual health clinic should be able to advise on different types of condoms and will probably give you some with some lube sachets if you ask. (There's different sizes / different materials/ different thicknesses). I don't know if there are condoms that are easier to feel inside yourself if they fall off - that's maybe a question worth asking.

NHS website op. You're wrong.

The urethra is close to the vagina and bacteria can travel through the urethra to the bladder during sex, which in turn can cause a UTI, so it's recommended, to pee after sex to flush out bacteria.

Just a potentially useful suggestion for someone who may not know that, which you can of course ignore or research for yourself.

You're getting responses like this, OP, because your attitude towards your own sexual health is really blasé and then you're criticising posters who are giving you advice. Go and read back through your messages; in response to anyone who addresses your own way of handling the situation, you become snarky.

You're admitting now that you've behaved like an idiot, but no one would have been coming back and pressing you if you'd thrown up your hands initially and said, "yeah, I was stupid. I should have advocated for myself and I didn't, I need to wise up. You're right.". Instead you started getting catty with posters who were trying to make you understand the issues at play, some of them who were actually being really nice to you.

Even now you're pushing the blame on to other people - me included, for not coddling you. You're a grown woman, we're also grown women. This guy was disgusting but you constantly let him get away with it because you didn't want to scare him off. You need to wise up. There are men out there who are far worse than this rancid pig, and you're making yourself a target by a) considering these FB community groups safe spaces and b) letting men get away with disgusting behaviour and inviting them back to your bed.

You might not like to hear it, but you're putting your own safety at risk. This isn't victim blaming either like some people have already said; no one is saying him doing what he did is your fault. But you allowed him to come back and keep disrespecting you because you didn't want him to get scared off by your perfectly reasonable requests. You're disrespecting yourself and letting a man use you.

Please Google this op instead of sounding incredibly ignorant.

He leaves it in you ?

He must have a little noodle dick then.

Why is everyone jumping on you OP. I Do agree with everything that has been said but that's ok hindsight and the 1st could have been accident! However, I agree now it doesn't seem right and if you can't talk to him about it you don't have much of a chance OP. sorry

I’d take cats over a fool like that.

Why didn't you bring it up the first time he did it? Why would you not mention it and then have sex with him again and let that and leaving the used condoms in the bed pass before finally saying something via text?

I can’t believe this is even a question!

Dump him.

There’s barely any point in him wearing a condom if he’s just going to leave it inside you.