Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect proper condom disposal and not being left inside me?

413 replies

Slv199 · 08/06/2026 10:35

I was with my exH for over 20 years and I’ve not had many sexual partners. I’m not sure about “condom etiquette” and it’s something not talked about.

My exH would always take the condom off and throw it in the bathroom bin. This is what I expect.

I’ve found my new partner just leaves it in the bed, which is gross and I worry my kids might find them. On other occasions I’ve found them inside me the next time I’ve gone to the loo. Which obviously leaves me worried I might get pregnant.

As I don’t have much experience I wondered what others think. AIBU to expect him to put the condom in the bin? Or at least tell me where he left it and definitely not leave it inside me!

OP posts:
FeelingSadToday1 · 08/06/2026 11:51

This genuinely turned my stomach 😱I have no other words other than move on sharpish

Pineapplewhip · 08/06/2026 11:51

Slv199 · 08/06/2026 11:31

I’m old, fat and ugly. If I raise my standards I might as well buy cats and wear purple.

I'd wear nothing bar purple leisure suits and adopt 10 cats before I let some skank leave a condom inside my vag.

You really need higher self esteem and standards. If you really think your appearance is holding you back; then join a gym, order some weight loss medication and book an appointment at the hair dresser.

Occasionalsnaccident · 08/06/2026 11:49

What’s wrong with wearing purple?

PinkyFlamingo · 08/06/2026 11:48

Slv199 · 08/06/2026 11:29

I’ve only slept with him 3 or 4 times.

You also said he had "only"left the condom inside you twice! That's most times then!

ThatsNicer · 08/06/2026 11:48
  1. Morning after pill
  2. Get rid of him
  3. Pregnancy test
  4. STI test
He has got to be doing this deliberately. Are you sure he hasn't slipped it off when he enters you? That would push it deeper into you.
Pinkchickenwine · 08/06/2026 11:47

Slv199 · 08/06/2026 11:29

I’ve only slept with him 3 or 4 times.

So 50/75% of the time he’s leaving the condom inside you?

Speaks volumes!

Slv199 · 08/06/2026 11:47

NovaF · 08/06/2026 11:44

What did I just read?! No, this is not normal, you know that. This man has no respect for you, what do you mean he leaves them in you or just lying in the bed?! This man does not need to be near you and your kids. I cannot fathom why being alone is a worse option than being with a slob pig that treats your vagina and bed like a bin. Where did you find this Prince?! Get rid.

I found him on a Facebook dating group for single parents.

OP posts:
MyDeftDuck · 08/06/2026 11:46

😡 Leaving it inside you does rather defeat the object of using it in the first place!
Do you seriously think it’s a good idea to continue having a relationship with this inconsiderate moron?
You’re worth better OP.

KerryWeaversSpecs · 08/06/2026 11:45

ExtraOnions · 08/06/2026 11:33

Better to be on your own, wearing purple, and owning a menagerie of cats, than be with someone like this.

Much, much better.

Slv199 · 08/06/2026 11:45

SparklyGlitterballs · 08/06/2026 11:38

This just gets worse. You've only slept with him 3 or 4 times. Two of those times he left the condom inside you and at least one other time he left it in the bed. I'm assuming he's not putting the condoms on properly if they're coming off during sex, either that or he's buying himself XL out of embarrassment at having a small dick and they don't fit? Whatever the reason, as others have said he's gross. Prioritise the GUM visit and pregnancy test.

I brought the condoms they are standard size. His dick is bigger than my exH’s and he never had a problem with them so I don’t think it’s the size. I guess he’s either not withdrawing before he loses his erection or he’s stelthing.

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 08/06/2026 11:45

Dump him. Now.

Kokonimater · 08/06/2026 11:44

Get a backbone!
this is DISGUSTING.

Have you not told him??
speak up!!!

NovaF · 08/06/2026 11:44

What did I just read?! No, this is not normal, you know that. This man has no respect for you, what do you mean he leaves them in you or just lying in the bed?! This man does not need to be near you and your kids. I cannot fathom why being alone is a worse option than being with a slob pig that treats your vagina and bed like a bin. Where did you find this Prince?! Get rid.

planespotter71 · 08/06/2026 11:41

Slv199 · 08/06/2026 11:27

I will go to a clinic.

Now it’s been mentioned I wonder if he is trying to get me pregnant. He is obsessed with his son and won’t be seeing so much soon so wonder if he wants a replacement. He’ll be disappointed anyway as I have a coil (assuming it’s still in situ).

tell him you think you might be pregnant, see how he reacts

SparklyGlitterballs · 08/06/2026 11:38

This just gets worse. You've only slept with him 3 or 4 times. Two of those times he left the condom inside you and at least one other time he left it in the bed. I'm assuming he's not putting the condoms on properly if they're coming off during sex, either that or he's buying himself XL out of embarrassment at having a small dick and they don't fit? Whatever the reason, as others have said he's gross. Prioritise the GUM visit and pregnancy test.

Ihatetomatoes · 08/06/2026 11:37

Becuriousnotjudgemental1980 · 08/06/2026 10:38

As others have said. Look up stealthing. That’s not ok. You need to have a harsh conversation with him.

@Slv199

I'd no idea what stealthing was.

For you:

Stealthing is the act of a sexual partner intentionally removing a condom during sex without the other person's knowledge or consent, or lying about using one when consent was given only for protected sex.

Why It Is Serious
Legal Classification: Because consent is conditional upon the use of a condom, removing it violates that agreement. In many jurisdictions, including the UK, this act is classified as sexual assault or rape.
Health Risks: It violates personal autonomy and exposes the victim to grave physical risks, including sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unwanted pregnancy.
Psychological Impact: It is a severe breach of trust that can leave victims feeling violated, traumatized, and powerless.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 08/06/2026 11:33

DUMP THIS MAN

Schitts Creek Do Not Want GIF by CBC
ExtraOnions · 08/06/2026 11:33

Slv199 · 08/06/2026 11:31

I’m old, fat and ugly. If I raise my standards I might as well buy cats and wear purple.

Better to be on your own, wearing purple, and owning a menagerie of cats, than be with someone like this.

Slv199 · 08/06/2026 11:31

Burningbud1981 · 08/06/2026 11:17

No reason just to choose any old scum bag just to have a boyfriend. Make your standards higher.

I’m old, fat and ugly. If I raise my standards I might as well buy cats and wear purple.

OP posts:
Lavender14 · 08/06/2026 11:31

To be honest I'd just put him in the bin.

That's disgusting.

Slv199 · 08/06/2026 11:29

Beigepjs · 08/06/2026 11:28

That is so grim.
He is scum.
Get a dildo.

Edited

I have a dildo…

OP posts:
Slv199 · 08/06/2026 11:29

Bloozie · 08/06/2026 11:26

How are you still sleeping with him? My fanny just clamped shut.

He's gross.

I’ve only slept with him 3 or 4 times.

OP posts:
Beigepjs · 08/06/2026 11:28

That is so grim.
He is scum.
Get a dildo.

Slv199 · 08/06/2026 11:27

gamerchick · 08/06/2026 11:17

I think you should make an appointment for a full screen at the GUM clinic.

Dump the bloke, he either is thick as fuck or he's doing it deliberately.

I will go to a clinic.

Now it’s been mentioned I wonder if he is trying to get me pregnant. He is obsessed with his son and won’t be seeing so much soon so wonder if he wants a replacement. He’ll be disappointed anyway as I have a coil (assuming it’s still in situ).

OP posts:
Bloozie · 08/06/2026 11:26

How are you still sleeping with him? My fanny just clamped shut.

He's gross.

Swipe left for the next trending thread