AIBU to expect proper condom disposal and not being left inside me?

You should be scared. You also need to raise the bar.
Why do women sleep with guys they hardly know who treat them like semen receptacles..he shows massive disrespect and you go back for more.. Are you that desperate? I’m over 70 , overweight now, had 3 strokes, divorced twice and have a better man than that. I learned years ago not to trust dating sites, though.

I said it, as someone who has been on my own for eighteen years. It's infinitely preferable than being disrespected and abused.

how can you talk to your own kids about safe sex if you are so flippant about your own sex life!

As everybody else already said, condom in bed: yes, gross.
^inside you"? that's a whole other level of not acceptable.

This is horrible and the fact that you have raised this with him and he's continued to do it shows a lack of basic respect for you, responsibility for your health and yes a breach of your consent.
I'd far rather be alone that with someone like this. Definitely get rid of him.
You'll find someone but don't be scared to be alone, do nice things for you and get strong and assertive so that next time you meet someone you can act in your best interests and tell them to do one if they cross your boundaries.

Is this for real?!
You do know its also your responsibility as well to ensure their proper use in order to prevent STIs and pregnancy??
He should keep hold of ot round the base of his penis when he withdraws to ensure nothing leaks out!
Only a skank would not wrap it in some tissue then throw it in the bin

Pleas don’t be scared OP. Of course it’s worth getting checked over for everything possible, but HIV is still low esp among straight couples with no drug history in this country. People are just being dramatic.

I can't believe this response! Stay on your own then, it's better than being treated like this.

As a wrinkly, fat, genuinely old (60s) purple wearing, cat owner, I still manage to have a nice considerate sexual partner, who wouldn't dream of behaving like your scuzzy boyfriend. Definitely aim higher than this OP!

Jesus, in the bed is so grim, and inside you is horrific. Who are these awful men??

Every single man I,'ve ever had condom-involved sex with has held it in place over his penis after he's come, then carefully removed it, and disposed of it with tissues in a bin. And I am talking double figures men and hundreds of times. Anything else would be repulsive.

Ahh I didn’t know it, I’m quite partial to a bit of purple so was worried there. Dump him. There’s a total lack of respect to leave it in your bed let alone your body and I can’t shake the thought that him doing something so blatantly unacceptable, he wants you to know that he doesn’t respect you.

My cat is an absolute bastard but I'd rather have a dozen of him in place of this specimen of manhood.

Lesson for you somewhere in all this op. Take care x

Do you have low self esteem? His behaviour is disgusting - and unhygienic. Who wants to move around in a bed with a runny condom? As for leaving them inside you - just no. There are decent men out there - why are you putting up with this arse?

This is disgusting behaviour. Frankly I'd prefer the cats and wear purple.

This is classified as rape. You haven't given consent. I do not understand how you are minimising this in your head.

Do you know that HIV has increased by 27% over the past 10 years?
https://nat.org.uk/about-hiv/hiv-statistics/

Yes all of this. Maybe you are old fat and ugly or maybe it’s in your head, but it’s irrelevant. If you look around you, many people with those attributes are in relationships and most of them will be getting treated far better than this. In fact I’d venture to say most people in Britain are ugly and many if not most are fat, so it’s neither here nor there.

I know you have said you won’t see him again so I think other posters are laying it on a bit thick by giving you a kicking over this.

It’s also very easy for posters to say “well being alone would be better than that” when they themselves aren’t desperately lonely. Loneliness does affect our judgement. Be kind to yourself, OP. You deserve kindness, respect, happiness and -yes - romantic love instead of cats and purple, if that’s what you want.

Also when you go for the STI test make sure they do throat swabs if you have him oral.

its not always done as standard but oral STIs like gonorrhea are on the rise because they’re often absolutely symptomless.

All of this.

Disgusting. He should take them off himself when he's finished, and dispose of them. This behaviour is completely enough to end things with this man. He sounds awful.

Also, if the open end of the condom is inside you, you are absolutely not protected against pregnancy or STDs.

Well, Jenny, at least your cats won’t leave jizzy condoms in your bed 🤭😉

He should know what size and brand of condoms work for him. They’re all slightly different and men who give a shit about the sexual health have a good idea which ones fit them properly.

He’s either deliberately not pulling out before going soft, wearing the wrong size condom or stealthing.

I'd also come off any dating site/app that had 'for single parents' anywhere within it's title/manifesto.
Edited for typo

In the moment of withdrawal usually someone has to make sure condom comes out still attached. Who is best placed to do this can be position dependent. I vaguely recall agreeing this with words or a gesture with new partners until there was an established custom. Otherwise we would both be attempting to do it!

This is not about condom etiquette, this is about why in god’s name have you not dumped him. Ewwww! I’d have the permanent ick. He sees you as a disposal unit.

Beyond gross, and by that, I mean him!

I know the poem you refer to ‘When I am old I shall wear purple’. It’s about looking forward to a time when you can live to please yourself and not conform to what’s expected of you, not some hideous old age to dread reaching!

By the way stealthing makes it sound a bit cheeky. In law, if that is what he’s doing, it’s actually rape.