AIBU to think my friend's reaction over trip costs is bizarre?

This trip is always going to be tempered by her attitude. I think you just say now that you personally have to cancel. She's essentially a friend of a friend and not a good one at that. I hope that fact she's booked it means she doesn't hold you to ransom. She's disappointed as it's a trip to her own turf...but that is getting in the way of being reasonable.

I agree that the villa was either vvv cheap or free, or she's a mega cheap skate and trying her luck. Either way this holiday is doomed, and no way would I go. I hope you haven't given Jane any money yet?

Jane sounds grabby and venal. A personification of the phrase “someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing”.

I wouldn’t want to know her, let alone go on holiday with her. I would just cancel.

Have you already paid all of your part? If not, cancel and say you won’t be paying anymore. If you have, cancel and say you want your money back. whether you actually get it back from this selfish prick is questionable, but I wouldn’t want to be on a holiday with someone so clearly lacking a shred of empathy anyway.
As someone who has travelled a lot I usually end up doing the bulk of any travel prep/research when going on a group trip, but I still wouldn’t feel at all put out at having to cancel or adapt plans in this situation.

Abso fucking lutely

I can’t fathom how you can be friends with someone who can behave in such an obnoxious way but there’s been no signs before. I wouldn’t be spending another moment in her company let alone wondering about how best to now arrange your trip away. No one I know would do this.

If you go she will expect you to pay for everything whilst you’re there being as she’s organised it.

Although Jane would have to cancel the booking, you can tell her that you aren’t going. She can decide if, after all her hard work 🙄 doing the admin for what is as much her holiday as yours, she still wants to go alone or find someone else.

I wouldn’t have cancelled until she said you should pay for her holiday. Someone has to place the booking and I have never heard of that person getting a free holiday for doing it.

Have you paid anything?

I can't see this friendship group surviving this.

Just cancel the whole thing. Sounds too stressful. Start again if needs be. Poor Sarah.

Don’t go with her it will be the holiday from hell.

Jane is a nasty bitch and she is not yours or Sarah’s friend and should be ashamed of herself. I would never speak to her again.

Personally, I’d cancel and rebook for sometime in the future when Sarah has at least started to come to terms with losing her father. Just doesn’t sit right with me to go off on a jolly when a close friend is planning her dads funeral.

I think you have to put your foot down. And tell her in no uncertain terms that the holiday is being postponed or cancelled as you will not go without Sarah and you will not cover all the accom cost. You need to be very direct and clear

Jane is a complete and utter cow, completely lacking in any empathy whatsoever. If I were you, I wouldn’t want to go on the trip with her now anyway so I’d be cancelling the villa and refunding everyone. And then I wouldn’t speak to Jane ever again.

Yes, this. She’s got the villa cheap or free and that’s why she’s refusing to swap to a hotel.
I’m assuming she has already taken your money? Damn. You migh5 have to write that off.What does Sarah think of her so called friends behaviour? I appreciate she has bigger things to worry about at the moment tho, so I guess you don’t want to bother her.
Jane has already spent the cash.

I would cancel, what a stupid cow.

Now I am thinking that the ‘villa’ was very very cheap or even free, (belongs to a family member) and she has taken both of your money. That’s why she doesn’t want to cancel it or refund it.

Be careful out there.

Have you actually paid any money OP? I'd be telling Jane that I no longer wish to go and, as you're within the cancellation window, you expect any paid money returned (after any admin fees deducted by holiday company). Put it in a text so you have it in writing. If she asks, it's up to you whether you make an excuse up (supporting Sarah?) or just be honest and say you're not comfortable with her thinking about splitting of costs due to Sarah's absence.

If she's being like this before the trip, one can only imagine what she'd be like once you're away.

“Jayne, I think it’s really insensitive to carry on with the trip given that Sarah’s dad has passed away. Can you please cancel and refund myself and Sarah and I will rebook at a time in the future to save you the hassle when Sarah is grieving less and it will give her something to look forward to”.

Your friend can claim her costs on her travel insurance

Cancel the trip. What a cow thinking Sarah got a good deal! I recently lost my dad, I didn't know how much work had to be done regarding administration when someone dies on top of planning a funeral. 2 months on I'm still trying to navigate it. I don't think I've had time to grieve yet.

I voted YABU meaning you’d be barking mad to pay for 2/3rds of a trip. I read your post twice wondering if I’d missed something - cancel the trip woman!!! Jane is a freeloader and won’t be fun on holiday - you’ll be left to pick up her meal tabs as well. The absolute cheek of it.

Agree to be blunt with Jane in writing and say she needs to cancel and that as she has enough notice to do it without penalty it will be entirely on her to pay if she doesn’t as you won’t be going or paying. Like you, I might have gone on the toned down version, changed the villa etc as annual leave has been booked etc but her attitude and entitlement is so horrible that I wouldn’t want to go at all now.

Cancel!! And go again when Sarah is up to it. I'd consider dumping Jane too. She sounds awful 😞