To be sick of threads being removed ‘at the request of the author’

It can be really disappointing. Even to the point where i cant be bothered to agree/disagree anymore.

Ive had threads where the op and me have had major disagreements. Discussed it like human beings and worked through it. Ive then come to a better understanding of matters and had private messages with the OP to support their opinions. How on earth can we just look at everything as our own opinions. It takes allsorts and by deleting the threads MN ruin a huge part of the benefits.

The only times I find it frustrating are as follows:

You click on a link from the MN daily email to find the thread was already taken down (same with FB links)

You click on a thread in “Active” but it’s already gone

You’re on a thread, take a while to write out a well thought out response that you hope will be helpful, then when you click post it doesn’t work, and you realise it’s been deleted when you can’t bookmark a post or watch the thread.

The post should disappear from active, and if you’re on the thread it should stop you from writing a comment. It definitely shouldn’t be included in their FB posts or emails saying come read this thread!

I actually agree with them on that.

It used to be one of the "reaction" options under a post but MN decided we were unable to play nicely and removed it.

Someone claimed posters were using it mockingly.

Even though no one else could see it.

Ridiculous imho

Op you sound over invested. There are many reasons particularly outing details shared too hastily for example. It doesn’t bother me in the least

Ooh, interesting discussion!

First of all, I treat every post as an interesting hypothetical situation, that means I don't get invested in whether it's someone's actual life that is in ' turmoil' . Often a thread starter gets carried away with the attention and you get drip feeds etc which call into question its legitimacy.

As for posters asking for threads to be taken down, especially in AIBU, well most of the time it's because they don't like being told ' YABU'. The number of posters that ask the question, then argue until they get abusive that they are NBU is amazing.

There are a few posters who can get nasty which isn't on, but that's the risk you take when starting a thread.

As long as it’s not offensive (in which case report) then it shouldn’t be one person’s decision - or else MN need to change it from being positioned as a discussion forum!

What about:

• people being worried about being identified in real life (and yes, I know the obvious answer is not to post identifying details in the first place but once the cat’s out of the bag people may look back and be very worried). This could leave to lead to real life harm for some people (especially those in dodgy relationships), being sacked, your children facing repercussions etc;
• People who have real life mental health problems finding the responses are just validating the things they thought about themselves, and it making their mental health much worse (we all know that saying “just don’t look” is not really an answer in these circumstances);
• People who realise reasonably early on that they probably were being unreasonable but don’t want to have to keep coming back to the same thread 40 pages later to find exactly the same response again and again and/ or demands for them to come back and update;
• Threads getting hijacked by either a couple of posters having a massive row with each other and or someone with an agenda (like the trans thread above).

Particularly in cases where the OP is worried that they might be identified, or it is having real detrimental effects on their mental health, surely the balance weighs in favour of taking the thread down?

Plus this is a Mumsnet site, with Mumsnet’s
rules. If you don’t like them no one is forcing you to post here!

You can change notifications in your settings. I don't get any, not even if tagged, and it's very peaceful

That's because the other platforms aren't forums. They are organised around personal timelines rather than discussion topics.

There can be a range of reasons that threads can be removed.
Legal. Safety. And most commonly probably is bullying.
Having a forum does not give people licence to say anything they want in the fashion they fancy to. And especially not if it is to hurt people for their own entertainment. So being able to ask for a thread to be removed is right.

Why is if frustrating for others it’s not their post . Surly the post belongs to the person and MN gives the option to delate . So they are using what is available. Create your own post and carry on the discussion? If so invested ? . But normally people post about personal issues and I don’t no why , someone would be so invested in carrying on the discussion. After you have all ready posted your opinion and the OP no longer wants it up .

Oh come on. No one is forced to comment on a thread- and we all know that threads can be deleted, so you go into it with your eyes open. Plus after 100s of responses saying the same thing, what’s to be gained by leaving it up? It’s all very well to say “don’t look at it then” but that’s easier said than done. And quite often there’s a really quite concerning set of facts at the bottom of things- Mumsnet isn’t here to make things worse.

And I do suspect that what people who don’t like threads being deleted mean is that they don’t get to enjoy the full humiliating pile-on.

"It doesn't really make sense for the OP to have more rights than anyone else to secure ta thread deletion."

What about if the OP is getting piled on and mercilessly bullied?

Every other platform we can delete posts, threads whatever. Tbh it's silly that we have to ask mnhq to delete, if we want to delete something we should be able to.

I take your point that it is a discussion forum and threads don't belong to the OP, @Lilaleily . It doesn't really make sense for the OP to have more rights than anyone else to secure ta thread deletion.

But on the other hand, what does it matter? You say that posters have "given their time and energy to the thread", but we post because we want to post. It is entertainment, not any kind of sacrifice, let alone one which entitles us to a lasting record of our input.

I'm guessing it is easier for MN to wipe the whole thread than fanny about with deleting the OP's posts (which would in any case make the thread nonsensical and barely worth preserving) or redacting the potentially identifying parts.

Yes the person is asking for others opinions,

I think sometimes you're right but other times threads turn into hoards of senseless spitefulness and nasty comments and tbh I think it's a good thing when those threads get shut down.

what are you referring to? I wasn't aware of this and can still see laughing emoji!?

I'm still annoyed they have taken away the laughing emoji because one arsey poster got her feelings hurt...

Isn't it against the Geneva Convention to give group punishments??

😂😂😂

Just so many bullies on MN including those who pick apart your words and turn everything into a point to attack you with making wild assumptions based on a few words.

I think for some of the people on here they are professional trolls. Disgusting, especially as the posters are often vulnerable to start with.

Why shouldn't people being piled on be able to ask for a deletion. It's irrelevant that it affects your enjoyment of the gossip.