AIBU to think there was no need to spend this much time in the disabled loo?

Not for everyone. I can't think of one time that my son's stoma only took 5 minutes to change.

Yes again, understandable. The point is she had no idea if the other person was also getting the hang of things.

When you resort to speaking so loudly on a phone about the person infront taking too long in the loo that they hear then it's time to say 'yes, I was wrong there. I'll do better next time'.

I'd be annoyed too after half an hour. It's that bit too long if it's the only disabled toilet. Waiting for someone to poo for that long or being stuck pooing could be done in an ordinary cubicle

YABVU. You have no idea what disabilities her child has, and she is under precisely no obligation to tell you about them.

The OP has only had hers for 6 months though, and is probably still getting the hang of things.

Yes that is understandable but plan ahead. Take disposable gloves or anti bac wipes/gel.

You've no idea of her circumstances. Imagine if someone was talking rudely outside the toilets about how long you were taking?!

YABU just like she doesn’t know that you have a catheter and need to use that toilet you don’t know if she also needed to use that toilet as far as she was concerned you where waiting to change your babies nappy and she didn’t expect you to be in such a hurry and complain.

Anti bac gel/wipes?

Changing a bag takes five minutes at the most. I’ve done it since I was four, so I have a lot of experience. I’ve also never had to use a public toilet to do it.

She doesn't know what needs you have and you don't know what needs she has

I think you are better off complaining to the venue for only having one baby change/disabled loo.
On the face of it the other mum was unreasonable to take so long but you actually don’t know if she or the child had any medical issues

The real shame is why only one disabled loo?
I worry you are making the same assumption the woman with the 4yr old and potty made about you, a woman with a baby in a pram. She likely had no idea you have a catheter and weren’t just waiting to change a nappy. Similarly, you have no idea if she has a disability and was not in there just for her child to use a potty.

I’m sorry you’re having a rough time with your health.

However, you’re still going to have to touch toilet doors and toilet seats whether you’re in the disabled or regular ladies toilets.

I would let this one go. You don’t know why the woman and her son spent so long in there. Equally, when first going in, the woman didn’t know about your catheter and recent surgery. You don’t trump her situation, and her situation doesn’t trump yours. It’s simply first come first served.

It’s the fault of the attraction for not providing enough disabled toilets or separate baby changing facilities. So perhaps write an email to their customer services with feedback.

Also, 3 weeks is not a long time at all after major surgery. Maybe stay at home, or closer to home until you are fully recovered to avoid future situations like this.

Either she or her child could be disabled. My 4 year old could not handle the regular public toilets. She is autistic. She also greatly struggled with going anywhere outside the house, but sometimes
the situation was dire.

She could have used the potty in a cubicle
or got a travel seat. Holding up the disabled toilet for 20 minutes is not acceptable for that.

for all you know she could have had a catheter herself

Vs

Having a catheter isn’t a disability

🤔

OP seems to have decided the lady and child weren’t didabled enough though??

Direct your anger to the venue and complain to them. Having a single baby change in a single disabled loo is crap for a popular family attraction.

Bloody harsh! The op has explained she need access to b TV e sink before and after and you can todo that in a normal toilet without touching a door handle again etc so your hands aren’t clean. Of course the disabled toilet is for dealing. Wirh catheters if you need the sink and stomas etc. I think all toilets should have the sink in the cubicle to deal with periods etc

Try not to worry, they change so much over the summer xx

will he do a jungle wee?

I voted YABU. You can’t know what need others have when using a disabled toilet. I have a friend whose child had a stoma from when he was a baby, you just would not know to look at him, but they needed the disabled toilets and it could take quite some time. Not helped if someone is outside complaining about how long it’s taking for toilet needs to be met.

If she is using a potty for the 4 year old it does suggest some sort of issues going on there.

Unfortunately disabled loo provision is often quite limited and the fact they combined it with baby changing is also unhelpful. Would hand sanitiser work to minimise infection risk so you can use the standard loo where necessary?

Not all children can be hurried along for valid medical reasons. Mine for example has a hernia and is waiting for surgery and we can't rush him along when he's pooping.

That's a very long time but you don't know what needs might exist there. You need to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I'd have just changed my baby in the pram. Just do it quickly.

Sorry op but you've no idea of her circumstances so yabu to make an assumption just as other people would be unreasonable to make any assumption about you using the accessible loo.