AIBU to think there was no need to spend this much time in the disabled loo?

I would bet money that there was nothing wrong with the woman or her child and she was just faffing about.

Could be wrong but I highly doubt it somehow

Talking loudly on the phone saying the person using the loo is taking too long is harassment. There's just no need.

My son (3) has severe issues around pooing. It's really distressing for him and definitely not something we can do in a normal cubicle.

I wouldn't judge anyone using a disabled toilet. Even if I can't see the reason why.

She wasn't harassing her thou she literally said to her husband that someone was taking a while in the loo. If I was waiting ages for a disabled loo I'd also text/ call who I'm with and say that I'm waiting a while for the loo. Not to complain but just bc it's the polite thing to do.

One of mine had horrific functional constipation & also ARFID which was exacerbated by crippling stomach pains. He was hospitalized & tube fed many times.

If he needed 30 mins on the potty or toilet in a private & quiet space I would do everything to get that. I would be livid if you were hammering on the door.

I have bladder issues to & have had indwelling catheters & self catheterize. I've never used a disabled toilet for that & actually it doesn't entitle you to a radar key (A urostomy would though). I do the responsible thing & carry gloves with me & wash my hands before entering a normal toilet.

Your sense of entitlement is astonishing

Exactly what did the op think was going on, the previous person just having a little chill in the accessible toilets, maybe took a flask of coffee and a mag? She was in there for that long as she clearly needed to be.

Thanks.

He still has some bowel issues that seem to be permanent and they aren't quite sure why but it was decided that the reversal would be better for him and a reason for that was his tricky stoma, I think they may have looked into making it permanent otherwise.

I had a child that did the same thing. Can I suggest what worked well for her? Warm water, a teaspoon of califig in kefir yoghurt (you can get nice flavours like vanilla). A sprinkle of branflakes in their usual cereal or just on the side as a snack and a chopped up apple. These things in particular made more of a difference than cold water and other yoghurt and fruits. Wishing your little one all the best.

Taking up a toilet for 30 minutes is not ok

She was carrying a 5mth old! It was hardly an aseptic situation.
Dh should do the baby change, obviously tbh. The op could wash hands and uses elbows, cuffs whatever to open cubicle doors. Or, take anti bac as I and others have said.

Harassing someone using a toilet is not ok.

That is wonderful that he is recovering and had his reversal,

I had to have my bladder removed so mine is permanent, but even with good routines I don't think many people have a straightforward whack on and off change,

Best practice with a catheter is literally to wash your hands and not touch anything else once you've washed your hands to reduce the infection risk . I also personally don't feel comfortable using the ladies when dealing with catheters as I wash my hands multiple times and dry them and the ladies doesn't have sinks in the cubicles. Unfortunately we will never know why others use the disabled loo as they won't know why we do so it's not up to us to guess what they were doing for half an hour.

You have no idea that she wasn’t using the loo for herself as well.

30 mins is ages, but you have no idea why she took so long. I imagine there may have been other changing facilities/disabled loo’s, I would have looked for those.

I know some people are in really good routines with their stomas and are able to manage them well but some stomas are incredibly tricky to manage and I've notice some people seem to think that just because their stoma is easy to manage, it is the same for everyone with a stoma.

My son had his due to cancer and has since had a reversal but it was always such a tricky stoma due to the fact that his output was so high.

I was going to say exactly this. In recent years more and more children seen to be stool withholding at school starting age. It’s awful for them! I frequently lose support staff to the bathroom for 30+ minutes to help with it. Once I learned this, the change in temperament of these children has been remarkable.

I also have a disabled family member whose mobility is very slow. On a bad day she can easily take 30 minutes to use the disabled toilet. There should be more available. People often knock and ask her to hurry up (and are always red in the face when she emerges and they see her! You would not deny she needs the disabled loo!)

The problem is that the fastenings in the ordinary toilet have been touched by people who've just had a crap, and you need to touch them to shut and lock the door and then have no sink to wash your hands in, and alcohol rub on your hands is not something you'd want on the catheter.

I didn't read it that she had a urine collection bag. A lot of incontinent women have Botox jabs and need to catheterise themselves to empty their bladder.

Problems like this are one reason I refuse the jabs.

op I get why it's hugely frustrating. given it was a day out, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt that she didn't WANT to be sat in a loo for 30 minutes and put your ore towards the attraction. one singular loo for all the disabled people and babies is ridiculous

You are right. @Ponoka7 about , shared facilities companies and attractions need to provide separate toilets,for baby changes/ family toilets

30 minutes wouldn't have been unusual for us. High output stoma, prone to leaks etc it was never a quick procedure.

YABU because the woman or child may have had a disability.

My DP can take up to 20 minutes to empty his bag and clean up etc. He has reduced mobility. It isn't obvious. Not everyone will be capable of a quick change/clean up.
My sister has, like the majority of women, had periods to deal with. Now she is is 70 and has reduced mobility, she can't change her incontinence pads/wet wipes in the time that she used to change sanitary wear.

The fault is a baby change being in the disabled toilet and there being only one disabled toilet. With colon cancer on the rise and more people living a stoma, they should have upgraded their facilities long ago.

I have a stoma i have had it decades and never has it taken "just 5 minutes" to change i mean if you have had a leak and you need to change clothes etc etc, i don't know why a pp was being so dismissive.

Even if it isn’t 5 minutes, it definitely doesn’t take half an hour.

All you need to do is to remove the old bag, clean the skin, put the new one on (with any barrier or spray you use) and tidy up. Given that there is going to be nowhere to lie down unless it’s a Changing Places toilet, it’s by definition going to be a quick procedure you would only do in a dire emergency.

She doesn’t have a stoma, she has a catheter. I was responding to the PP who claimed the person blocking the toilet might have been in there for half an hour because she had a stoma and needed to change her bag.