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AIBU?

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To wonder why anyone would want to live in America?

306 replies

allergon842 · 07/06/2026 17:06

I follow a woman on Instagram who moved from England to the States and someone commented "America is only great if you're white, rich, and healthy".

Putting aside Trump/politics, I've always found it weird why anyone would want/would have wanted to live there. I understand if you're from a developing country, but I don't see the appeal for anyone who comes from Europe. The lower taxes and opportunities are enticing, but if you can't make it, you can fall very easy with the lack of a safety net. It seems to be only decent if you're a top earner ($100,000+).

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TheatreMom · 09/06/2026 14:13

FrenchT0ast · 09/06/2026 06:35

They are entirely different and focus on any external threat

“A reported incident/civil disturbance in the local community (with the potential
to pose a risk to staff and pupils in the school).
• An intruder on the school site (with the potential to pose a risk to staff and
pupils).
• A warning being received regarding a risk locally of air pollution (smoke
plume, gas cloud etc.) or chemical, biological or radiological contaminants.
• A major fire in the vicinity of the school.
• The close proximity of a dangerous dog or other animal roaming loose.”

NOT active shooter drills anywhere like those seen in the USA.

Our external threat drills are do innocuous most often focus on a potential animal in the playground as that is what is the most likely scenario as we don’t have a gun or kids being shot in school problem. They are calm drills almost identical to fire drills except a reverse with any kids or staff returning to classrooms on a different bell.

How are they different from an "active shooter drill"?

YourBlueShark · 09/06/2026 14:02

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/06/2026 20:15

The short answer is its a far, far wealthier country. Far more work and money. There are plenty of other wonderful things about the US but I don’t think people are fully cognisant of what a poor country we are now compared to them.

We have a US parent company and they basically use our UK staff today the way British companies used Chinese and Indian companies 20 years ago. Its an arbitrage on very cheap labour because we are paid about a third of what the staff at the parent earn and they know our labour market is fucked so none of us can leave. The UK has basically become a sweatshop country for white collar industries.

There a lot to dislike about the US obviously but also some wonderful things. If I were 20 years younger I would be pushing to move there.

My husband works for a UK company but is an American citizen in the US. His colleagues who've come over from the UK earn about half of what they pay the Americans for the same role and they can't leave because their visas are tied to work. It's horrible, and basically indentured servitude. He's become close with a few who are working through the green card process specifically so they can find other jobs here.

YourBlueShark · 09/06/2026 13:55

Rrnraf · 07/06/2026 19:04

We and DC have only ever been on holiday. DH has been on work trips.

People who have lived there be honest do people "go out at night on their own". Extended family who have studied there basically say every major city is dangerous at night and no-one goes out after dark on their own

Not true at all; I lived in a major US city and now live in a small coastal New England city. I've always been very comfortable at night on my own, and I am not remotely unusual in that way. Actually hopping in the car shortly to head to NYC for a visit to my best friend; she's raising her children on the UES and does not have safety concerns (specific to the city). It's very common for people to be out on their own at night in US cities.

user678435 · 09/06/2026 11:54

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 17:48

Oh and re school shootings. The fact children have to have school shooting drills is abhorrent. Firearms are the leading cause of death for children and teens (ages 1 to 19) in the United States. Terrifying for children and parents.

I'm not a 2nd amendment fan. I'd be happy for guns to be banned, but it's a little misleading to exclude the fact that 59% of paediatric gun deaths (under 18) are by a family member/domestic situation rather than a random school shooting.

jeaux90 · 09/06/2026 08:58

My sister (English) and her husband (American) are both in higher education there, so mediocre salaries and can afford a beautiful home, and in 22 years of living there have never been in any of the situations people bang on about. I have been to the US many many times too including a couple of months ago. No country is perfect.

Rrnraf · 09/06/2026 08:48

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 09/06/2026 08:07

This is the chance of being murdered in any particular year.

It’s harder to find figures for the lifetime risk, but it appears that between 1 in 100 and 1 in 200 US residents will die by homicide. Of course some have much higher risk than others.

Thanks for the correction

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 09/06/2026 08:21

FrenchT0ast · 09/06/2026 06:35

They are entirely different and focus on any external threat

“A reported incident/civil disturbance in the local community (with the potential
to pose a risk to staff and pupils in the school).
• An intruder on the school site (with the potential to pose a risk to staff and
pupils).
• A warning being received regarding a risk locally of air pollution (smoke
plume, gas cloud etc.) or chemical, biological or radiological contaminants.
• A major fire in the vicinity of the school.
• The close proximity of a dangerous dog or other animal roaming loose.”

NOT active shooter drills anywhere like those seen in the USA.

Our external threat drills are do innocuous most often focus on a potential animal in the playground as that is what is the most likely scenario as we don’t have a gun or kids being shot in school problem. They are calm drills almost identical to fire drills except a reverse with any kids or staff returning to classrooms on a different bell.

I’m not sure if you meant to miss it but I’ll be charitable and say

Oh, you seem to have missed the preceding sentence from your quote

“Lockdown procedures may be activated in response to any number of situations, but some of
the more typical might be:”

The lockdown response would be the same if it was an external threat, I.e a member of the public getting into the school, as it would if a pupil posed the same threat.

What do you think a school would do if a pupil came in armed and posing a threat?

“Oh we are only trained for lockdowns with external threats. Let’s all just scream and run around aimlessly”

And the dog on the playground story is to keep children calm and not instil the idea that they might not be 100% safe at school.

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 09/06/2026 08:07

Rrnraf · 08/06/2026 20:58

The per capita homicide rate is 4.0 homicides per 100,000 residents. Which is higher than us a lot. But it's 0.004%.

This is the chance of being murdered in any particular year.

It’s harder to find figures for the lifetime risk, but it appears that between 1 in 100 and 1 in 200 US residents will die by homicide. Of course some have much higher risk than others.

FrenchT0ast · 09/06/2026 06:35

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 22:33

Most councils even have guidance on lockdowns

https://www.rotherham.gov.uk/downloads/file/1761/lockdown-procedures

They are entirely different and focus on any external threat

“A reported incident/civil disturbance in the local community (with the potential
to pose a risk to staff and pupils in the school).
• An intruder on the school site (with the potential to pose a risk to staff and
pupils).
• A warning being received regarding a risk locally of air pollution (smoke
plume, gas cloud etc.) or chemical, biological or radiological contaminants.
• A major fire in the vicinity of the school.
• The close proximity of a dangerous dog or other animal roaming loose.”

NOT active shooter drills anywhere like those seen in the USA.

Our external threat drills are do innocuous most often focus on a potential animal in the playground as that is what is the most likely scenario as we don’t have a gun or kids being shot in school problem. They are calm drills almost identical to fire drills except a reverse with any kids or staff returning to classrooms on a different bell.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 22:33

Most councils even have guidance on lockdowns

https://www.rotherham.gov.uk/downloads/file/1761/lockdown-procedures

https://www.rotherham.gov.uk/downloads/file/1761/lockdown-procedures

MostlyChickpeas · 08/06/2026 22:21

I have dual citizenship and have never been tempted to live in the US. I’ll go on vacation to see family, but that’s it.

Utterlyexhausted · 08/06/2026 22:19

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 22:15

We do have lockdown drills which would be put in place if there was a person/ persons posing a deadly threat (which includes a shooter).

I agree. My children had them in the UK a few years ago. Why do people always say they don’t happen in the UK when they clearly do?

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 22:15

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 20:23

No we don’t have shooting drills in the UK.

Since the shooting at Columbine in 1999, more than 390,000 students in the U.S. have experienced gun violence at school.

Each day 12 children die from gun violence in America. Another 32 are shot and injured.

Those figures are horrific.

We do have lockdown drills which would be put in place if there was a person/ persons posing a deadly threat (which includes a shooter).

Northermcharn · 08/06/2026 21:43

Rrnraf · 08/06/2026 20:58

The per capita homicide rate is 4.0 homicides per 100,000 residents. Which is higher than us a lot. But it's 0.004%.

5.8% for under 19s..

The homicide rate for youth under 19 in the U.S. remains elevated, with recent data showing over 1,800 pediatric homicides annually and thousands more among older teens, largely driven by firearm injuries. The Americas also report the highest youth homicide rates globally, averaging around 5.8 per 100,000 for under-18s.

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 21:20

SquirrelGG · 08/06/2026 21:17

Or indeed people choosing to relocate to any country other than the UK.

No it’s being realistic. Some of us have lived aboard and could have lived in a variety of places. The fact is the US has huge issues and even bigger issues for immigrants which us British seem to have a major problem in realising we are- the same as everybody else considering live in a country that isn’t their own.

SquirrelGG · 08/06/2026 21:17

OneTealShaker · 08/06/2026 13:53

It’s usually people with closed minds and some kind of misplaced superiority complex about their small lives in this declining, increasingly poor country who look down upon people choosing to relocate to America.

Or indeed people choosing to relocate to any country other than the UK.

JasmineTea11 · 08/06/2026 21:03

It's an amazing country with problems, like most.
If you work in particular areas you can make serious money. I lived there for a few years decades ago and know lots Brits who stayed, love it etc, but it wasn't for me.

Rrnraf · 08/06/2026 20:58

The per capita homicide rate is 4.0 homicides per 100,000 residents. Which is higher than us a lot. But it's 0.004%.

Northermcharn · 08/06/2026 20:42

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 20:23

No we don’t have shooting drills in the UK.

Since the shooting at Columbine in 1999, more than 390,000 students in the U.S. have experienced gun violence at school.

Each day 12 children die from gun violence in America. Another 32 are shot and injured.

Those figures are horrific.

Yes. A country where the leading cause of death for Under 19's - is guns. Yes the leading cause of death for under 19s in the USA - is guns. Totally preventable, but... So no thank you, I def do not want to live there.

'Manner of Death:
Homicide: Assault accounts for the largest share (roughly 59–60%) of pediatric firearm fatalities.
Suicide: Firearm suicide makes up approximately 32–35% of these tragic deaths.
Unintentional: Accidental discharges and undetermined intents make up the remaining percentage. 1, 2]'

The Major Causes of Death in Children and Adolescents in the United States - PMC

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6637963/

Rrnraf · 08/06/2026 20:42

Oh well it might be 1 in 9. By all metrics and data there is more crime there. NYC has higher per capita knife crime than London

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 20:41

Rrnraf · 08/06/2026 20:39

I did some reading and asked AI so it can be wrong but apparently over a lifetime an American has a 1% chance of being a victim of gum violence.

National Context: Americans are approximately 26 times more likely to be shot and killed than residents of peer high-income nations

Rrnraf · 08/06/2026 20:39

I did some reading and asked AI so it can be wrong but apparently over a lifetime an American has a 1% chance of being a victim of gum violence.

TheatreMom · 08/06/2026 20:35

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 20:23

No we don’t have shooting drills in the UK.

Since the shooting at Columbine in 1999, more than 390,000 students in the U.S. have experienced gun violence at school.

Each day 12 children die from gun violence in America. Another 32 are shot and injured.

Those figures are horrific.

Again, I'm not disagreeing with you.

FrenchT0ast · 08/06/2026 20:23

TheatreMom · 08/06/2026 20:14

I don't know if this was also in response to my comment. Yes, school shootings are terrifying. I said this in my original comment. (I have also heard that they now have these drills in the UK too.) I also said that I wished we didn't have the 2nd amendment. I think we're in agreement. The fact remains that school shootings are thankfully extremely rare.

No we don’t have shooting drills in the UK.

Since the shooting at Columbine in 1999, more than 390,000 students in the U.S. have experienced gun violence at school.

Each day 12 children die from gun violence in America. Another 32 are shot and injured.

Those figures are horrific.

Goldenbear · 08/06/2026 20:21

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 08/06/2026 19:16

For teens.
You really are scraping the barrel now with this anti us narrative.
We can’t argue about which country has a better “leading cause of child and teen deaths”

Christ alive.

But you were responding to the post about leading causing of death of children and teens. Suicide is not the leading cause of death in the UK, accidents are but yes, just like the U.S. a leading causing of death for teens is suicide.

It's not actually about who's better, these threads are ridiculous as there is a childish sense of delusion. I think Brits know that there is a quite a bit wrong with the UK, it is preferable to be a bit crap as it's more real. I visited Portobello market the other day and tbh it lacks soul, like Camden market it's a clinical paradoy of itself. I preferred life that was a bit crap in London in the 90s early 00s. I don't know what is wrong with being a realist about life.