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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ask if you would judge a mum for this? Honestly…

142 replies

Whitediamondshoes · 07/06/2026 16:43

AIBU to ask would you judge a mum who goes away without her dc? Even though she is separated and pretty much does it when they are with their dad? So long weekends etc?

OP posts:
BrendaSmall · 07/06/2026 17:06

Heartbroken38 · 07/06/2026 16:52

Even though she is separated and pretty much does it when they are with their dad

So who has them when they are not with their dad then?

She goes away when they’re with their dad!!
when they’re not with their dad they’re with their mum!!

whippersnapper55 · 07/06/2026 17:05

Of course not! I've been away for a long weekend occasionally and left them with DH, he has done the same! There's nothing wrong with having a break. If your relative is judging you, that's their problem not yours!

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 07/06/2026 17:04

You asked for honesty, so I will be honest.

I would judge of she was always taking herself away and not also taking her children away on separate occasions. I would find that very selfish
If she is giving the same to her kids and just having time away herself in addition to that, then crack on.

CharlotteStreetW1 · 07/06/2026 17:03

What's your relative's reasoning for criticising you? Ask them what they think you should be doing while the children are away. And do they think your ex should be doing the same? And why does their opinion matter?

SusanSHelit · 07/06/2026 17:01

Not at all! My ds is going to Paris with ex dp for a week soon, he's also going to Portugal with my and dm. I've booked the week he's going to Paris off and will be going away somewhere for a few days either by myself or with my bf if he can get the time off!

You are allowed your own life, ignore judgement relative

MyLimeGuide · 07/06/2026 17:01

What?! No!!!

Greentea4 · 07/06/2026 17:00

Not at all. That's the perks of having an ex parent that can have them.

Swiftie1878 · 07/06/2026 17:00

I go away without mine, and we’re still married!

Fizzybluewater · 07/06/2026 16:59

I used to take short breaks without my kids they stayed with my mum and they had holidays with me.
Didn't do them any harm, we are a close little gang even though they are now all adults.🙂

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 07/06/2026 16:59

No.
I wouldnt give it a second thought

Stressmummy12 · 07/06/2026 16:59

Whitediamondshoes · 07/06/2026 16:56

Yes I take them away separately and together.

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Yeah that’s the perfect scenario for all involved!! Enjoy yourself with no guilt cause you deserve it x

Overthebow · 07/06/2026 16:58

Whitediamondshoes · 07/06/2026 16:56

Yes I take them away separately and together.

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No I wouldn’t judge you doing this, you’re still taking them away and it’s when they’re at their dads. Can’t see why anyone would have an issue with it.

Original poster
Whitediamondshoes · 07/06/2026 16:58

Heartbroken38 · 07/06/2026 16:56

I don't mean that. You said when you go away they are pretty much with their dad. What does pretty much mean?

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Well they are always with their dad. What. I meant was that when I go away it’s pretty much when they would be with him anyway. Once it happened that they had to stay with him an extra night as the flight times didn’t work out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whitediamondshoes · 07/06/2026 16:56

Stressmummy12 · 07/06/2026 16:53

I don’t judge but personally I wouldn’t be able to do it unless I was also taking my child away too so they had weekends away and holidays and I would alone also

Yes I take them away separately and together.

OP posts:
Heartbroken38 · 07/06/2026 16:56

Whitediamondshoes · 07/06/2026 16:55

I do, we have 50:50.

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I don't mean that. You said when you go away they are pretty much with their dad. What does pretty much mean?

Original poster
Whitediamondshoes · 07/06/2026 16:55

Heartbroken38 · 07/06/2026 16:52

Even though she is separated and pretty much does it when they are with their dad

So who has them when they are not with their dad then?

I do, we have 50:50.

OP posts:
CeciliaMars · 07/06/2026 16:53

I go away! I think it’s healthy for my kids to see I have a life.

Stressmummy12 · 07/06/2026 16:53

I don’t judge but personally I wouldn’t be able to do it unless I was also taking my child away too so they had weekends away and holidays and I would alone also

SummerFeverVenice · 07/06/2026 16:52

Whitediamondshoes · 07/06/2026 16:49

Thank god! Thank you all so far. It is me yes. I just feel highly highly judged by a relative for going away. The dc are with their dad and he never makes me feel guilty! We are on good terms.

There is always someone judging you when you’re a mother. You cannot win. If you never went away, you’d be accused of coddling them and keeping them tied to your apron strings. You have to get a thick skin when you’re a mother and ignore such judgements.

DaisyChain505 · 07/06/2026 16:52

Absolutely I would not judge.

I wouldn’t just a mum going away without their children even if they were still with the Dad and they all lived together.

Just because you become a parent does not mean you have to give up being an individual person who has hobbies, interests and a life away from your children.

Heartbroken38 · 07/06/2026 16:52

Even though she is separated and pretty much does it when they are with their dad

So who has them when they are not with their dad then?

Didimum · 07/06/2026 16:51

umm … no. I go away to Italy every year without my kids. Going to Germany without them later this year too.

SummerFeverVenice · 07/06/2026 16:50

Never in a million years. I was often away on business trips while the children were home with their dad/my husband. I also took girls holidays with my mates now and then.

Original poster
Whitediamondshoes · 07/06/2026 16:50

Jellybunny98 · 07/06/2026 16:47

Agree with this totally. I’d judge a bit if it was a mum or dad going away themselves but never took their kids anywhere, but in general no.

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I definitely take them away! I take them away separately for 3-4 days (whilst ex takes the other away) and I take them in a longer holiday together.

OP posts:
elm26 · 07/06/2026 16:49

Loubissou · 07/06/2026 16:44

No. Why would I?
I am not separated and go away without my kids.

Same