What would you think of a father in this situation?

35 replies

Grteb · 07/06/2026 15:31

Sees his 4 year old for circa 12 hours every 28 days and never overnight?

Would you think it was ok? Would you have respect for a person who saw their child so little?

OP posts:

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 07/06/2026 16:11

Complete loser.

ParmaVioletTea · 07/06/2026 15:50

Loser man. Dead beat dad.

Makes me cross - they shift their responsibilities onto the mother of their child, and - ultimately the tax payer in all the benefits paid to single parents.

Rachelshair · 07/06/2026 15:50

I'd feel sorry for him rather than losing all respect, surely he doesn't want it to be like that. Maybe that's all he can manage.

Thechaseison71 · 07/06/2026 15:49

Hmm my DDs dad didn't even set eyes on his eldest till she was 4 months old. I'm sure many on here would be writing him off for that

Unless you know people's situation it's best not to judge

Muffsies · 07/06/2026 15:47

Doesn't sound like much, but like pp said, there's not enough info to judge.

Do they live 200+ miles away? Do they have their own car? Do they live in shared, or very small accommodation? Do they have a job that means they are contantly travelling away from home? Are they in the armed forces? Do they have a significant physical or mental disability? Has their relationship with the other parent broken down so badly that they hate the drama it causes for the kid everytime they show up? Do they keep in regular contact via phone/facetime when they can't be there in person?

mindutopia · 07/06/2026 15:44

He sounds like a shit dad, but not necessarily the worst thing for the child. My dad saw me maybe once a month during the day with my mum supervising (literally until I was 18) and I never stayed overnight with him. He just had no idea how to be a parent and wasn’t that interested. It was a good thing for me that I saw him so little. But he was still a shit dad. And a deadbeat too, never paid any maintenance in all those years.

Ribenaberry12 · 07/06/2026 15:41

I think it depends on if he can’t see the child more (works away for weeks at a time/in the forces for example) or if he can see the child more but he chooses not to.

thepariscrimefiles · 07/06/2026 15:40

Unless there are significant extenuating circumstances why this dad spends so little time with his four year old child, e..g. the dad is seriously ill in hospital, I would definitely judge him and think he was a crap and lazy father.

Moonnstarz · 07/06/2026 15:38

Agree it depends on circumstances. Does the mother refuse access or make it difficult (e.g. moving away, refusing overnights, making up stories the child doesn't want to go).

Buscobel · 07/06/2026 15:35

On the face of it, it seems very little, but there’s no information about why, so I’d need to know the circumstances before judging.

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