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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To display old circus photo?

36 replies

Sprogonthetyne · 07/06/2026 13:55

One of the only photos I have with my grandfather was taken when I was 4 and he took my sister & I to the circus. I'm sat on top of an elephant, with him and my sister stood next to it. I'd like to see if I can get the photo digitally restored and add it to my family photos wall (it's a very old Polaroid), but I'm not sure if I'm OK with the idea of remembering/ celebrating the use of circus animals.

YANBU = it was a nice family outing in the context of the time, don't let changes in public understanding/ values detract from memory of time spent with a grandparent

YABU = that elephant definitely did not want to be dressed up in a tent with random kids sat on it. Displaying the photo would be condoning animal cruelty

OP posts:
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itssoeasy · 08/06/2026 10:54

I’ve voted YABU for the fact this has even taken up one second of your time

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/06/2026 10:51

WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 08/06/2026 10:07

British fat people still ride those poor donkeys in Santorini rather than be arsed to walk up the hill so I don't think dressing up an elephant is so bad in comparison!

I know someone whose mum is Thai. This person (not the mother) happily posed in Thailand as an adult with an obviously drugged up tiger.

WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 08/06/2026 10:07

British fat people still ride those poor donkeys in Santorini rather than be arsed to walk up the hill so I don't think dressing up an elephant is so bad in comparison!

WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 08/06/2026 10:07

British fat people still ride those poor donkeys in Santorini rather than be arsed to walk up the hill so I don't think dressing up an elephant is so bad in comparison!

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 08/06/2026 10:06

Like others, I have pictures of my beloved Dad in a dress, aged about two. He had two older sisters, it was quite acceptable for boys to wear dresses back then (before WW2) and it was far easier to change a nappy in a dress than trousers.

I have that picture very proudly on display and feel no need to apologise to anyone seeing it, or to explain that my dad was not a cross dresser and nor did he transition. It was normal then.

BauhausOfEliott · 08/06/2026 10:02

Having a photograph of something doesn't mean you're condoning it.

If it did, I'd have to get rid of an awful lot of photos of me sitting on my nan's lap as a toddler while she's holding a cigarette about six inches from my head.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 08/06/2026 09:27

Show people the photo and say,
"We had a pet elephant, we were the only people in our street with one. Did you have one?"

PercyPigFan73 · 08/06/2026 09:23

I have photos of my mum and dad at a seaside,in the 70s, recently engaged and holding some adorable squirrel monkeys. It's sweet looking back on the photo,but thankfully it's a thing of the past.

OneThreadOnlybyN · 08/06/2026 09:21

Createausername1970 · 07/06/2026 14:11

Same. I have a lovely picture on display of my dad holding me, and I was holding a monkey.

It was not unusual back in the 60s.

We can remember the past with fondness, but at the same time recognise that some things are best left there. Twas always the way and will always be so.

I wonder what we consider to be OK now will be looked on with horror in 60 years time.

Show quote history

Probably having any pets 😢

OneThreadOnlybyN · 08/06/2026 09:19

MasterBeth · 07/06/2026 18:17

Unless you plan to invite an elephant into your family home who might be traumatised by this image, don't think twice about showing it.

🤣🤣🤣

OneThreadOnlybyN · 08/06/2026 09:18

Isittimeformynapyet · 08/06/2026 09:08

Your poll might not reflect the votes accurately as you have put the options in your post the other way around to the voting.

I've noticed OPs do this so often and always wonder why 🤔

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Sub conscious bias to put YANBU first probably.

i think the question is, why did MN put them YABU first?

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/06/2026 09:15

Dollymylove · 08/06/2026 09:02

Unfortunately it is still legal in the UK to keep certain primates as pets. Doctor Alison Cronin of Monkey world has campaigned for the practise to be banned

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Oh no that’s sad.

Isittimeformynapyet · 08/06/2026 09:08

OneThreadOnlybyN · 07/06/2026 14:00

Your poll might not reflect the votes accurately as you have put the options in your post the other way around to the voting.plus some twats just vote to upset the OP,

but YANBU. It's a photo from a different time & one of your Grandfather (&you & your sister!). Enjoy the lively memory.

we do better, when we know better, that's what counts 🤗

Edited

Your poll might not reflect the votes accurately as you have put the options in your post the other way around to the voting.

I've noticed OPs do this so often and always wonder why 🤔

Dollymylove · 08/06/2026 09:02

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 07/06/2026 14:11

In the 80s in SE London a local family close to us had a monkey in a cage, in their front garden, it was open to passers by, I saw it once. My mum remembers in 1940s a family local to her had a monkey as a pet in a house/hut in the garden.

Show quote history

Unfortunately it is still legal in the UK to keep certain primates as pets. Doctor Alison Cronin of Monkey world has campaigned for the practise to be banned

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 07/06/2026 23:06

Display in your home yes, but I wouldn’t share in any public media as it’ll attract criticism

MaidMiriam · 07/06/2026 22:56

MasterBeth · 07/06/2026 18:17

Unless you plan to invite an elephant into your family home who might be traumatised by this image, don't think twice about showing it.

🤣🤣🤣

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 07/06/2026 22:50

Shatteredallthetimelately · 07/06/2026 18:15

Oh lord....

My DD's family were certainly not middle class...more a thing of large family, baby number 15 of 17, so clothes had to be threadbare, then some before being binned.

Edited
Show quote history

Apparently other classes did it too. It was to save money on clothes and potty training apparently.

MasterBeth · 07/06/2026 18:17

Unless you plan to invite an elephant into your family home who might be traumatised by this image, don't think twice about showing it.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 07/06/2026 18:15

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 07/06/2026 17:34

My grandad was dressed up as a little girl until he was 4 or so. We have pictures of him with blond long curls, ribbons in hair, white lace dress. Quite common especially in upper class families. Apparently though it was common to do this as it was practical, economical and socially acceptable and done in Victorian times up to 4-7 years for boys.

Show quote history

Oh lord....

My DD's family were certainly not middle class...more a thing of large family, baby number 15 of 17, so clothes had to be threadbare, then some before being binned.

ShodAndShadySenators · 07/06/2026 17:45

It's a photo of your dearly loved grandad, that's what counts. Re the elephant and circus, you didn't know any different then and you had no control over the situation either, so what difference does it make? You wouldn't do it now you have agency.

Consider this: if you hadn't been taken to the circus, you probably wouldn't have a photo of grandad at all.

ToadRage · 07/06/2026 17:42

I loved my grandfather to bits and it wouldn't matter what we were doing if it was a lovely memory of a time with my grandfather. Definitely get ir restored and display it proudly as a little girl who loved her Grandad.

youalright · 07/06/2026 17:38

OneThreadOnlybyN · 07/06/2026 14:00

Your poll might not reflect the votes accurately as you have put the options in your post the other way around to the voting.plus some twats just vote to upset the OP,

but YANBU. It's a photo from a different time & one of your Grandfather (&you & your sister!). Enjoy the lively memory.

we do better, when we know better, that's what counts 🤗

Edited

Yeah i just voted wrong

TheChosenTwo · 07/06/2026 17:38

I think worse of people I know who rode elephants in Thailand not that long ago. We definitely knew better when they went.
It’s not something we’d do now but you’re not displaying it on a public wall for anyone else to see and judge, it’s a family memory of someone you love and I think it’s fine to put it up in your own house.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 07/06/2026 17:34

Shatteredallthetimelately · 07/06/2026 14:50

Although taken over 80 years ago now we've family photos of my Ddad as a baby in a pram dressed in a white dress.

Hand me down item of clothing from his sisters I dare say, but not something you'd necessarily do today.

My grandad was dressed up as a little girl until he was 4 or so. We have pictures of him with blond long curls, ribbons in hair, white lace dress. Quite common especially in upper class families. Apparently though it was common to do this as it was practical, economical and socially acceptable and done in Victorian times up to 4-7 years for boys.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 07/06/2026 14:50

Although taken over 80 years ago now we've family photos of my Ddad as a baby in a pram dressed in a white dress.

Hand me down item of clothing from his sisters I dare say, but not something you'd necessarily do today.

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