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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a day on my own childfree

32 replies

miamiamia869 · 07/06/2026 08:48

I would like a day on my own child free for a shopping trip but guilt is telling me I shouldn't.

Me and my husband have a very good, happy relationship and both do alot for eachother. We have an 18 month toddler. We have our own roles but always help eachother when we can and if the other is not feeling up to it ect. He works 5-6 days a week i work 2 so all the hourse chores is my role which i do with baby alongside of course. He always helps with washing up and will cook if im having a bad day. I have our toddler while he working. He is with me 24/7 unless I am at work. I do struggle with the lack of freedom that comes with being a mum. He has ALOT of tantrums and can be difficult at times. My husband has a job where he is a free to pop off and drive around do any errands he has ect pop and see people and finishes quite early some days so he has some time to do some bits after work, and that sort of freedom aside from that he spends all his time with myself and the baby. He has been working on the garden after work and weekends lately so I have been long days 7 days a week alone with baby.

I am craving a day just to go shopping where I csn concentrate and look without being screamed at or having to call it quits cause the tantrums are so bad and it's just stressing us both out so im going to have a day a shopping alone have a coffee and just a day for me. Hubby is obviously fine with this and he has his hobby that he does that takes him away overnight and he's back the next day. He also doesn't get to do this much as he works so much and any free time tends to be jobs at home or days out with us.

I basicly feel so desperate for a day alone but also guilty leaving him with the baby when he works way more than me and also doesn't really have chance for his hobby.

Just wanted some opinions on am I being unreasonable for wanting this.? I am someone who struggles with over stimulation and have always loved being alone and having time with myself. I have a very hectic public serving job. He always free to go do his hobby I would never stop him unless it came first above the baby and vice versa. I just feel guilty about and he does tend to mention it alot like "mummy wants a day on her not parenting" which i think can be a dig.

OP posts:
DidYeAye16 · 07/06/2026 08:59

Of course you should have time alone, you should also have time alone as a couple with your dh if you have the option of babysitters. You're a parent, but you're still an individual who needs to do things that you enjoy for yourself.

Tocsin · 07/06/2026 08:57

To be clear - a decent partner would be ensuring you have some time to yourself every day, and a more significant amount of time at least once a week. And weekends or short breaks when possible.

Your life sounds claustrophobic and miserable to me.

IAmBeaIDrinkTea · 07/06/2026 08:57

I just feel guilty about and he does tend to mention it alot like "mummy wants a day on her not parenting" which i think can be a dig

Sorry, just seen this bit at the end - crappy thing to say, ignore him.
Nothing wrong with wanting/needing a few hours to yourself, don't take any notice.

IAmBeaIDrinkTea · 07/06/2026 08:54

Tempted to vote YABU just because you're asking and doubting in the first place!
Go, it's essential for your wellbeing to get some time to yourself.
You said DH is fine with it too.
They'll be fine.

Tocsin · 07/06/2026 08:54

Is this really your life, @miamiamia869?

It sounds like prison.

With a prison officer making nasty digs every time you even try to look out of the windows of your cell …

Purpleturtle45 · 07/06/2026 08:51

Have you not had a day on your own in 18 months?

Of course you are entitled to time to yourself, you should not feel guilty and your husband should not be making any digs. Everyone needs space and time to themselves and it's not anything to be ashamed of!

ohtokcry · 07/06/2026 08:51

In the nicest way I didn’t need to read your explanation why, of course you can have this and it’s perfectly normal to want and need it

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