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Four Weddings and a Funeral

187 replies

TheBlueRobin · 06/06/2026 22:12

Watched this film tonight, bit of a comfort film and love anything from Richard Curtis. What I hadn't really paid attention to before was how soon people got married? Lydia and Bernard after 3 months. Carrie and Hamish after a few months?

Was this more normal in the 90s or just a plot device? I'm getting married this year but was born in the 90s and been with my partner for nearly 8 years. Most of my cousins got married in the 90s in their early twenties after 1-2 years together.

Yabu - that was normal in the 90s
Yanbu - definitely unusual, people took longer to get married.

OP posts:
the80sweregreat · 07/06/2026 22:00

Best quote of Love Actually is when Bill Nighy calls Ant and Dec ‘ Ant or Dec’ and his quips about the free drugs.

Thebinisrightthere · 07/06/2026 21:59

Silverbirchleaf · 07/06/2026 21:33

Wasn’t uncommon in the 90s to go to several weddings over a summer.

Yes but not usually of people who've only been together a few months

Thebinisrightthere · 07/06/2026 21:58

Secretsquirrelshh · 07/06/2026 21:20

I watched Citizen Kane recently though, and I thought that was shit! I'd rather be entertained with some genuinely funny moments ("Bride or groom?" "It should be perfectly obvious I'm neither") than pretentious twaddle. Horses for courses though - boring if we all liked the same stuff.

Also Hugh Grant is absolute eye candy. He was an unobtainable 15 or so years older than me when the film was released, and now I feel like a pervy old lady when I watch him!

I didn't mind 4 Weddings which is where your quote is from. I can't actually think of any funny quotes from LA

Silverbirchleaf · 07/06/2026 21:33

ToadRage · 07/06/2026 20:06

It's a plot device, how else are they gonna fit four weddings in? It does happen but I don't think its the norm, everyone one i know was together for at least a few years before marriage.

Wasn’t uncommon in the 90s to go to several weddings over a summer.

Secretsquirrelshh · 07/06/2026 21:20

Thebinisrightthere · 07/06/2026 19:57

I totally agree. I was really looking forward to seeing it at the cinema but I just didn't find it funny, interesting or entertaining. Apart from Rowan Atkinson's brilliant 5 mins or so

I watched Citizen Kane recently though, and I thought that was shit! I'd rather be entertained with some genuinely funny moments ("Bride or groom?" "It should be perfectly obvious I'm neither") than pretentious twaddle. Horses for courses though - boring if we all liked the same stuff.

Also Hugh Grant is absolute eye candy. He was an unobtainable 15 or so years older than me when the film was released, and now I feel like a pervy old lady when I watch him!

ToadRage · 07/06/2026 20:06

It's a plot device, how else are they gonna fit four weddings in? It does happen but I don't think its the norm, everyone one i know was together for at least a few years before marriage.

Thebinisrightthere · 07/06/2026 20:02

BIossomtoes · 07/06/2026 19:38

I like trite shite. No effort required. Perfect for watching while stuffed to the gills with Christmas dinner and awash with champagne.

It's just so smug though & completely unfunny with very boring storylines full of unlikeable characters. 2 or so storylines are so pathetic I can't believe they got any further than the script writing. I refuse to ever have it on in my house. I do really like Hugh Grant as time has gone on & one day might even forgive him for this

Thebinisrightthere · 07/06/2026 19:57

MyCloak · 07/06/2026 19:35

No, it was trite shite from the moment it plopped onto cinema screens. It makes Four Weddings and a Funeral look like Citizen Kane.

I totally agree. I was really looking forward to seeing it at the cinema but I just didn't find it funny, interesting or entertaining. Apart from Rowan Atkinson's brilliant 5 mins or so

Mcdhotchoc · 07/06/2026 19:53

We lived together for 3 years before getting married in 1991, engaged xmas day, married in the following August. Pretty standard i think.

BIossomtoes · 07/06/2026 19:38

I like trite shite. No effort required. Perfect for watching while stuffed to the gills with Christmas dinner and awash with champagne.

MyCloak · 07/06/2026 19:35

Jc2001 · 07/06/2026 19:26

Haha I know. The irony is that most of them used to love it too until someone came along and told them they were wrong to like it 20 years later

Edited

No, it was trite shite from the moment it plopped onto cinema screens. It makes Four Weddings and a Funeral look like Citizen Kane.

BIossomtoes · 07/06/2026 19:33

Jc2001 · 07/06/2026 19:26

Haha I know. The irony is that most of them used to love it too until someone came along and told them they were wrong to like it 20 years later

Edited

I still like it. I still like FWAAF too. I have no problem with having unfashionable tastes.

Jc2001 · 07/06/2026 19:26

SkippitySkoppity · 07/06/2026 19:22

You'll receive a fine and a reprimand for saying that on MN. As well as a link to that Jezebel article. 😂

Haha I know. The irony is that most of them used to love it too until someone came along and told them they were wrong to like it 20 years later

SkippitySkoppity · 07/06/2026 19:22

Jc2001 · 07/06/2026 19:05

Love actually is a great film.

You'll receive a fine and a reprimand for saying that on MN. As well as a link to that Jezebel article. 😂

ourSusie · 07/06/2026 19:18

QuintadosMalvados · 07/06/2026 15:46

It was released in 1994.
And Wet Wet Wet was no. 1 for 16 weeks. Or a million years. I can never remember which.

One of the few advantages of middle age is you can point these things out without thinking.

Never seen it. Never wanted to see it.
Probably too busy watching Withnail and I on video.
Though that was released in 1987, it became a cult classic later.

Withnail and I is our obligatory Boxing Day film, all phones on silent.

It’s a film I find nerve wracking, as though I have no idea what happens next.
I still get hysterical at the bull, Uncle Monty’s eyeshadow,
the in the bath,
the bleak location, the mud, the squalor, but most of all we love
Danny the Dealer and his Camberwell Carrot.

Jc2001 · 07/06/2026 19:05

Thebinisrightthere · 07/06/2026 16:24

It's a pretty good film, far better than Notting Hill and the less said about Love Actually, the better imo

Love actually is a great film.

MyCloak · 07/06/2026 18:56

Secretsquirrelshh · 07/06/2026 18:28

Apparently the dreadful "Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed" line was supposed to be ironic and funny, rather than drippily romantic. Lost something in the direction or delivery. But now I know that it irritates me less. (Though the swelling soundtrack doesn't help.)

I always find her a weirdly opaque actress. She’s definitely totally opaque in FWAAF.

If she’s supposed to be playing the confident, sexually-experienced, gorgeous American breezing in and out and creating havoc in a film about bumbling English eccentricity and self-deprecation, then we need to see that in her performance.

But you spend half the time thinking ‘Why did she say x? Does she mean it, is it a weird joke, or does she just have the self-knowledge of a teaspoon? Or is it just bad acting from someone who doesn’t understand the character, even though ‘’confident, charming American, charmed by bumbling Hugh Grant’ doesn’t seem that complicated ?’

Like when she pretends she thinks they’re engaged after she first sleeps with Charles, and then says ‘But I think we both missed a great opportunity here’ — why? If she likes Charles, exchanging numbers would be normal. She’s going to the US, not Jupiter.

Why does a glamorous American who works for Vogue and happily shags all round her marry a charmless Tory politician old enough to be her father, never seems that nice to her, and whose friends she describes as ‘gruesome stiffs’?

Are we really supposed to imagine she and ghastly Hamish cancelled their honeymoon for the funeral of a man they’d met twice? When she looks all stony-faced at the funeral, is she supposed to be grieving or has she already realised Hamish is awful, especially as she tells Charles, in a breathtaking display of tactlessness given the circumstances, that she’d liked him telling her he loved her?

Why does she wear a weirdly unweddingy outfit to Charles and Duckface’s wedding, when she’s been all hats and fabulousness at the previous two where she was a guest? (I mean, why does she even attend? If she likes Charles, it’s too late.) Is the outfit supposed to show us she’s sadder and wiser?

And if it’s actually supposed to be a joke about not noticing the pouring rain, it needs to be said with obvious irony. Not just sort of blankly, like she might really not have noticed.

Secretsquirrelshh · 07/06/2026 18:53

Thebinisrightthere · 07/06/2026 18:32

Not true. Hugh Grant's name is shown first. Understandable really, as he's in pretty much every scene. Annie MacDowell isn't

You are quite right - I've just double checked. Must have had a brain fart!

DryTerryandJUNE · 07/06/2026 18:37

Plot device.

Thebinisrightthere · 07/06/2026 18:32

Secretsquirrelshh · 07/06/2026 18:12

She was the big name though - she’s billed top of all the cast. The whole movie was made for something like a million quid.

Not true. Hugh Grant's name is shown first. Understandable really, as he's in pretty much every scene. Annie MacDowell isn't

MyballsareSandy2015 · 07/06/2026 18:29

We met in 1987 and married in 1996. Moved in together 5 years after meeting.

Secretsquirrelshh · 07/06/2026 18:28

Apparently the dreadful "Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed" line was supposed to be ironic and funny, rather than drippily romantic. Lost something in the direction or delivery. But now I know that it irritates me less. (Though the swelling soundtrack doesn't help.)

Yamyamabroad · 07/06/2026 18:26

I lived with my boyfriend from 1989 onwards and finally got married this year. It was absolutely normal amongst professionals in London but I got a few raised eyebrows when I went back up North when we had kids. I didn't know anyone that didn't live together before getting married - though not many took as long as us 🤣

BIossomtoes · 07/06/2026 18:25

I’m sure literally everyone didn’t.

MyCloak · 07/06/2026 18:20

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 07/06/2026 17:46

People obviously did and it was more accepted but it certainly wasn’t the norm like it is now

I lived in three different countries with my partner in the nineties, and literally everyone lived together, often for years, before marrying, if they did marry.

ETA Have just thought of one exception where the man refused to live with his LD longdistance partner before the wedding with the excuse that his parents ‘wouldn’t like it’ — looking back, he didn’t want to get married at all.

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