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AIBU?

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Distant friend saying she will get a CCJ if I don't help her.

217 replies

seasonsintherain · 06/06/2026 21:16

I was contacted earlier this week by a former friend. We didn't have a falling out or anything... it's more just that life changed post COVID (she moved out of the city).

She initially started with the usual thing of: 'How are you?! Been so long!' etc... and said she was needed money (around £2500). I thought this was odd given it's been about 3 years since we last texted and 5 years since I actually last saw her.

She said that she was being chased by a debt collection agency from when she lived in the city. I won't go into too much detail, but she said she was going to get a CCJ if this debt (which she claims is 'wrong') doesn't get paid. I found this whole thing to be very suspicious and odd since it had been so long since I heard from her.

My DH said it's not a 'crazy' amount of money 'to us' - but that's not the point for me. He went on to say we 'could' help her, but only if it felt genuine. I understand that life can change a lot in years - and I obviously hope life hasn't taken a bad turn for her.

Also, what irked me the most was that because I wrote back at all (in answer to the 'how are you' stuff - which was before the money request), she since piled the pressure on and said she will 'get a CCJ if I don't help her'. I looked into a CCJ and understand that it stays on your credit file for 6 years and is very damaging.

But since she piled the pressure on and implied that the responsibility lies with me, I don't want to get deeply involved.

I wrote back and said it was a 'no' from me and didn't go into any further details, she just repeated herself and said that I 'needed to understand that she will get a CCJ if I don't help her'.

Whilst DH and I COULD help her, everything about this feels wrong. AIBU to just not reply again?

OP posts:
DontTheSkyLookPrettyUpHere · 06/06/2026 22:20

Not your problem and she’s cheeky for piling on pressure. Friends don’t do that. Just block her.

Redburnett · 06/06/2026 22:19

Not your problem. If you cave in that will not be the end of it. Block.

PyongyangKipperbang · 06/06/2026 22:19

If a friend she hasnt spoken to for years is literally her only option then I would think that she has been living far beyond her means for a long time. Also that she has probably tapped out all of her closest friends and family, so they wont help her either.

As is often said on here, if she can't get credit through the bank etc because they think she is a bad risk, why on earth would you consider it? You wont see a single penny back from her so unless you are happy to gift her £2.5k then YANBU at all to simply stop replying.

LewKirtonHeavenInTheAfternoonNSOul · 06/06/2026 22:17

Block or tell her not happening then block.
She will have exhausted all avenues for getting cash..You're a last resort.

sortyourdietout · 06/06/2026 22:16

I imagine this is hard because financially you could help. But it isn’t helping her deal with the issue of getting into debt. You could give her money (don’t expect it back) with the knowledge that you’ve helped pay her debt off but all that does is assuage your guilt and kick the can down the road for your former friend.

If she’s getting into debt on a regular basis that she’s now turning to distant friends to pay it off, this must make you think as to what happened with family/friends before. Maybe they no longer want to ‘lend’ her money to pay her debts off or they know that the only way for her to deal with whatever emotional issues drive the debt is for her to take responsibility for her choices.

Dollymylove · 06/06/2026 22:15

Why does she think your responsible? Tell her to bog off and block her number

DierdreDaphne · 06/06/2026 22:15

senua · 06/06/2026 21:27

She's only asking you because everybody else has said no.

This

Bananadramatic · 06/06/2026 22:14

YANBU. She is hoping you are a soft touch. Helping out some person you are not close to is not your concern. That is not an immaterial amount of money and you won't see it again.

seasonsintherain · 06/06/2026 22:14

Pollqueen · 06/06/2026 22:07

I can't imagine any situation where I'd ask an acquaintance from 5 years ago for a couple of grand, unless I had burnt all of my bridges and was really desperate. This is your call OP but if you do help out, I would consider it a gift as highly doubtful you would see the money repaid

I have already told her 'no' (as I said in my initial post) but DH feels 'softer' and we 'could' help her. He spoke to her ex (who he is friends with and who still lives in London) after I kept getting messages saying that if I don't help her she'd get a CCJ. Can confirm it is indeed her/not a 'spoofer'.

I've muted/archived the chat. Will block as I believe the same as the PPs on here. Sounds like someone rifling through their contacts list since they've burned most bridges.

OP posts:
Jellox · 06/06/2026 22:14

Tel12 · 06/06/2026 22:00

Well as your DH has said you could help her. I imagine that she's desperate. We all need a helping hand at some point.

Yeah £20 for shopping in an emergency because you’ve lost your bank card, not £2500!!

She needs to go to a debt agency, not OP

PolkaDotPorridge · 06/06/2026 22:13

Three years since any communication and 5 years since you last saw her! She’s taking the piss. She has asked others for this money not just you. Ignore. Or just say you are simply unable to help. Then block.

Electricsausages · 06/06/2026 22:12

Her problem
not yours
do not lend a penny

Jellox · 06/06/2026 22:11

seasonsintherain · 06/06/2026 21:30

My DH spoke to her ex-boyfriend (in person) as I had the same thought of it being a number spoofing or cloning. (My DH and her ex are friends). Story is true/it's her.

Why have you not rang her yourself?

It could be the bf texting.

No one asks people for a large amount of money like this.

OnGoldenPond · 06/06/2026 22:09

Just seen your update that you have confirmed that it is her. Just block her and ignore, she has a massive cheek.

Pollqueen · 06/06/2026 22:07

I can't imagine any situation where I'd ask an acquaintance from 5 years ago for a couple of grand, unless I had burnt all of my bridges and was really desperate. This is your call OP but if you do help out, I would consider it a gift as highly doubtful you would see the money repaid

TreesinthePark · 06/06/2026 22:05

PercyPigFan73 · 06/06/2026 22:01

Well if this is genuine,don't not lend anything. She's probably exhausted her closer friends and family,which in itself not a good sign as she obviously owes them money too.

Exactly.

A CCJ isn't even a big deal in the scheme of things. If it were my scam, I'd say I owe drug dealers that want to break my legs or something!

DugnuttEyeBoogies · 06/06/2026 22:04

senua · 06/06/2026 21:27

She's only asking you because everybody else has said no.

Yeah was going to say this. She’s obviously worked her way through her contact list and nobody has fallen for her tale of woe, and now she’s getting desperate and is reaching out to anybody and everybody.

If her nearest and dearest can’t/wont help - because they know that she will screw them over ? - why the hell should you?

PercyPigFan73 · 06/06/2026 22:01

Well if this is genuine,don't not lend anything. She's probably exhausted her closer friends and family,which in itself not a good sign as she obviously owes them money too.

Tel12 · 06/06/2026 22:00

Well as your DH has said you could help her. I imagine that she's desperate. We all need a helping hand at some point.

Chilly80 · 06/06/2026 21:59

Just block her

50lbstolose · 06/06/2026 21:58

No is definitely a full sentence

BlondeFool · 06/06/2026 21:57

Block her. She could make a payment plan.

Londonrach1 · 06/06/2026 21:57

Block her and don't get involved.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 06/06/2026 21:55

Nowthereistwo · 06/06/2026 21:19

Just block

This
what a randome thing to ask and how many others has she also asked!

no way would I do this for someone I’ve barely had any contact with!

Portugal1987 · 06/06/2026 21:54

Some people really don’t hold back! No! Just block