Distant friend saying she will get a CCJ if I don't help her.

I had a CCJ once, I had no idea I had it until one day I checked my credit score and it was incredibly low (after years and years at full marks!). I have no idea where the CCJ came from but other than my credit score going down, literally nothing else happened to me. I think the CCJ was already two years in when I looked at my credit score. But I've been lucky enough to never need to borrow money 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would never ever "lend" £2,500 to a distant friend, especially one who was so brazen to be asking persistently. You'd never get it back! Sounds like she's got herself into something she needs professional help with, not people giving her money.

I would never ask my friend to dig me out of a hole, especially 2 and a half grand! I have a friend who is significantly better off than I am, who is actually my best friend, and I would never ask nor take if offered. Stick to your guns!

A CCJ for what? I don’t understand? Does she have a reason to think you are liable for any of her debts?

My feeling would be that I'm not running a charity. You can afford to lose this money, but why should you? You never know what's waiting around the bend, and you may end up needing it sooner than you think. How many distant friends could you really afford to bail out? I'd block her (as you have) and have a serious conversation with your husband. I'd want to be certain he doesn't think it's a good idea to give large sums to people just because you technically can. There are many things you can afford to do that wouldn't be wise spending choices. Pouring money down a bottomless well is one of them.

That was my first thought

Exactly!!!

She got herself into debt so she needs to deal with the consequences.

Sounds like the reason she got into debt was because she kept borrowing money and that’s what she’s still trying to do now.

Also think it’s most likely a scam. Ignore. Just read op updates

Absoloutley not!

I had similar just after I had ds2 (I was a single mother and jobless at the time).

A friend I hadn’t spoke to in years messaged me congratulating me on the birth and how we must meet up as she had a present for ds2. In her next breath, she asked for £2000 as she was in rent arrears and being made homeless.

I felt so awkward but lied and said I was in debt to DF so that wasn’t possible. She had the cheek to ask if I could give whatever I could. Wouldn’t get the hint so I stopped replying.

Months later I had a message off a mutual friend and it turned out she had asked the same of her and the mutual friend borrowed her the money. She then blocked her off everything and mutual friend had to go through a small claim court to get the money back.

I’ll never lend money to anyone except close family.

Not your responsibility, and you won’t get the money back.

If she gets a ccj, that’s because she’s been irresponsible. Funny how first you’ve heard of her woes is when she’s begging you for money.

Make sure dh doesn’t give her money either. She’s obviously already begged and borrowed from her other friends already.

Well done for holding firm and not caving to her guilting or your partner being softer. Her CCJ is her responsibility, nothing to do with you, and just because you have it doesn’t mean you should hand 2.5k over to someone who’s whole problem is they’ve got themselves in debt and aren’t taking responsibility for it. If no one closer is caving, no way is this on you, especially as she’s only surfaced for this reason. You owe her nothing and she’d owe you 2.5k that you mightn’t see again.

She didnt reach out until she needs a large sum of money... shes not a friend.

And no ones situation goes straight to CCJ this has gone on a while. Absolutely dont let it be your problem

This is outrageous!
Your finances are for you, your family, your household, your future. Whatever mess she’s got herself into is nothing to do with you. Her problem. She’s OUTRAGEOUS to ask and out you in the embarrassing position of having to say no - especially after three years! Terminate this ‘friendship’.

She’s got some hide pressuring you after three years. She’s no friend. Block.

How on earth is her CCJ your responsibility or problem? She caused the issue, she can deal with it. You don't even speak anymore. She isn't your daughter or sister. Trust me, do not do this. It's not being selfish. It's being wise. Protect your own finances and financial health!

A CCJ is not the worst thing in the world. In fact it may be the kick up the arse your friend needs.

Giving her money will probably not save her, it will just delay the inevitable and you'll end up pissed off and out of pocket. It's already causing conflict in your relationship.

Some people have to hit rock bottom in order to rise again. The best thing for her is that y'all let her hit her rock bottom @seasonsintherain and be there to help her up once she's got a bit of cop on.

@seasonsintherain This is a scam, it is not her, she has been hacked. Block this contact and if you have another way of getting hold of her, like a phone number, warn her she's been hacked.

Make sure your DH doesn’t do it via his friend. He sounds like a soft touch

If this isn't a scam and is indeed a woman who you haven't had contact with in 3 years and not seen in person in 5, then she's got some bloody cheek to ask for money!!

Her debts are not your responsibility to pay. Even if you did give her the money, and you notice I said give and not lend, you'd never see a penny of it paid back, so it would be pointless to lend it. Giving or lending money, opens the flood gates for further requests for money in the future. You being able to afford to give her the money is irrelevant.

You've responded back and refused her request, that's the end of the matter. She needs proper debt advice and a realistic payment plan to repay her debts to her creditors. None of which is your problem or responsibility. I think it's time for you to block this woman, because she's not a friend.

I wouldn't give her the money. The fact you aren't even close anymore and she contacted you out the blue shows she's exhausted her options and she hasn't got anyone who trusts her to lend her money.

If you lend it to her, you won't get it back.
Sometimes the kindest thing you can do to someone is not enable them.

State very clearly again, no. Block and delete. In the nicest way, this is not your issue.

this is fucking mental, fuck off is a sentence as well as no.

Block!!! Do not even consider giving this money

For the sake of an old friendship, I’d send one final message reiterating you won’t be lending her the money, but wishing her luck in getting sorted and with this link for support/advice:

www.gov.uk/debt-advice

If she continues texting and trying to guilt trip you, just block her number.

I had something like this from a former boyfriend. I believe he sadly got into drugs since I last saw him and I'm not even sure if it was him using his phone or one of his associates who just knew a bit about me.

WTF? No, it's not your responsibility, and she's not family or an extremely close friend.

You will never see the money again. It's hardly life saving surgery or something. No of course it's not unreasonable to stop replying.