Distant friend saying she will get a CCJ if I don't help her.

It’s not my dsis is it this is something she would do hence why we are nc. Your friend has contacted you because everyone else has said no probably owes them money already. This will be the tip of the iceberg of her debts. Giving her the money because you have very little chance of getting it back won’t help her in the long run she needs to sort her finances out

They usually only apply for a CCJ as a last resort if you've not co-operated and you are not paying the debt back.

She hasn't paid the original debtor.

It could have gone to a debt collection agency and she's not paying them.

It sounds like she's not made any effort to do a budget and agree an affordable repayment with whoever the debt is with now.

If she's failed on all of this and is being threatened with a CCJ, what chance have you got of her paying the money back to you in a timely manner?

I would be very suspicious that this is a scam, though that’s because I was scammed recently myself and they can be very convincing.

But if you’re right and it is genuinely her, then I wouldn’t lend her the money. She has a lot of cheek to be asking you since you’ve been no contact with her for so long.

I got sucked in to lending a substantial sum of money to a friend many years ago and I’ve regretted it ever since. My friend was seriously mentally ill at the time, as it turned out (she’s bipolar) and she hadn’t told me the full scale of the amount of debt she was in. She just wasn’t able to pay my DH and me back.

No. One request will lead to another. And why you ? She may have asked several people.
As ever with those requesting money she was a bit light on detail. Not providing anything tangible that you can see to substantiate what she was saying. Nor proof of the debt in question.
She is playing on your kindness and generous spirit. But please say no.

By the time she has contacted you she will have tried and exhausted all her closer family and friends over time. Chances are she pays one loan off by borrowing from the next. If the debt is not hers she needs to be prepared to contest it, if not it is suspicious.

Her reasoning is totally invalid. She is not getting a CCJ because you won't help her she is getting one because of life decisions she made. It's manipulative and disgusting behaviour to suggest otherwise and also demonstrates that she continues not to take responsibility for her life. It would be a hard no and block from me.

A ccj will only be issued by the court if a respondent has not contacted the court to dispute the allegation or made any effort to suggest terms. A creditor will only contact the court to get a ccj if the debtor has not either paid, made any effort to pay or disputed the debt.

Why isn't the friend of your DH who knows her helping her?

Make sure your DH doesn't give her any money - he sounds like a really soft touch!

"Sorry I can't help you with that."

Then mute or block. What a CF!

Hard no

Forward her some debt support agency details. That's the best way to help her.

Sounds like she's been working her way through her address book to find anyone she's once known to lend her money. Interesting that her family aren't helping her out. If she's that desperate in the first place she'd find it impossible to pay it back.

Scam or not you'd likely not have got any money back if you had helped out.

I would just block her. She won’t pay you back op that’s why nobody close to her will lend it to her.

Oh gosh this reminds me of a distant friend I hadn’t seen in 20 years! She was evicted from her private rental for non payment of rent and luckily was offered a council flat. But she didn’t feel that the council flat near me was good enough, so wanted to rent privately. Problem is she doesn’t have a guarantor nor earnings. Please could I be guarantor and she promises to pay the money?!!!! I reread it at least 20 times before showing my husband! It was crazy pining financial responsibility onto someone you haven’t seen in 20 years! I suspect I was last on the list to be asked and she felt desperate but not desperate enough to live in the council flat! She ended up moving in with family, got kicked out then moved in with different family. When I wrote back that I was sad to read about her situation, but couldn’t help. Being guarantor is a big ask as their income/property are secured against the contract, which can cover 12 months of non payment of rent! She really needed to be asking her parents/brother or close friend. She replied that I was very uncaring as she’d poured her heart out. She would never ask her family for such a thing?!!! So I believe she had zero intention of paying it! You have to put yourself first and not allow people to take advantage of you. Well done for saying no!

You’ve not spoken to each other in years. She only contracted you as she wanted money. It would be a hard no from me as well.

Nope. You’ll never get the money back and this will escalate. She’ll be asking for more after the first loan.

you are doing the right thing by refusing.

I wouldn’t help her. I’ve loaned money to a friend before and while I got it back, the friendship ended.

As others have said, she must've worked through a lot of other people before arriving at a casual friend she's not spoken to in years. Which suggests there's going to be more where this came from. So I think you're right to block her.

But it sounds like she's in a financial mess, which makes it very likely that the best this £2.5k will do is kick the can down the road a few weeks/months until next time one of her creditors tries to take enforcement action. This will carry on until she repay in full or is declared bankrupt/other formal solution.

Therefore the kindest thing is not for the OP to throw £2.5k into a black hole but say no and tell her to get professional debt advice as this will start her on the road to financial recovery.

Suggest to her that she contacts Stepchange or Christians against poverty (no need to be a Christian) for advice with her finances and debts. These are free debt charities and your friend should not pay for debt advice.

Giving her the money won't help her as her finances are probably a car crash all round and she will soon be getting into increasing hot water with the next creditor.

I Imagine that to ask you for help her own partner, parents, siblings, close friends must be unable/unwilling to help her. The state of her finances must prevent her from taking a small loan from the bank. Her own partner can't get a small loan for example? That is probably because they have all been there and got the t-shirt of lending her money or they know her issues are such a car crash that their money will disappear into the abyss. Follow their lead - no way! If your husband wants to get involved he should ask his mate why he won't lend his partner the money and watch him squirm. But even better if you both stay out of it. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

She has probably asked all her relatives and close friends and drawn a blank from them so has moved on to more distant acquaintances because she is desperate. The kindest thing you can do is to write back and direct her to organizations like Stepchange and then block. They can set her up with a debt repayment plan and negotiate with the debt collectors on her behalf.

FIVE WHOLE YEARS 😮 since you’ve seen her, and now she pops up and says she needs £2500 and pronto! 😜 And when you say no, she piles on the emotional manipulation. Some people have no shame! It’s actually quite hard to believe. Is she on drugs or a gambling addict or something? Thank your lucky ⭐ you fell out of touch, and best to keep it that way.

She’s not a close friend, plus she’s not contacted u in years, hasn’t been interested in you, and the only reason she’s doing so now, is to get your cash. Why can’t she go to the friends she’s been hanging out with these past 5 years? Or ask the ex boyfriend or her family??? Why you?

why is DH entertaining this, you already know it feels ‘off’. Steer clear op. In this situation I’d only help genuine friends that were constant in my life

Let me talk to your husband. If he's not spare thousands then he can fund my loft conversion so that my children don't have to share a bedroom! 🫪