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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't care

145 replies

Thoughtlife · 06/06/2026 20:44

In the last hour, both of my adult children have told me via text they're bisexual.

AIBU that I don't care?

OP posts:
Katemax82 · 06/06/2026 22:47

I don't care that my oldest is bisexual

shelvedplans · 06/06/2026 22:15

@Thoughtlife why would they both tell you at the same time? That seems odd. Could they be on the wind-up?

JanBlues2026 · 06/06/2026 22:05

Sounds like they are soft launching a same-sex partner. I wouldn’t care either if my children are gay or bisexual, but I would care that they felt comfortable enough to share that with me knowing that I wouldn’t judge them and be happy about that.

TheWineoftheChicken · 06/06/2026 21:22

DeeLasVegas · 06/06/2026 21:01

Would that be the same if told that they are heterosexual? Honestly i couldn’t care less what my kids were, nor am I interested in their sex lives 🤷🏻‍♀️

Show quote history

I care about everything my kids thing it’s important enough to tell me. If they’ve gone out of their way to text me about it, it must be important to them, and therefore I care.

ThisAmpleCritic · 06/06/2026 21:17

DeeLasVegas · 06/06/2026 21:01

Would that be the same if told that they are heterosexual? Honestly i couldn’t care less what my kids were, nor am I interested in their sex lives 🤷🏻‍♀️

Show quote history

If my children wanted to tell me something about themselves, whether that be that they’re gay/lesbian, bi, heterosexual, or that they identify as a badger, I will always care about it. As a parent, you should always care about your children and their lives, what’s important to them etc.

Hatty65 · 06/06/2026 21:16

It's an odd kind of message unless they are both suddenly deciding to introduce you to a same sex partner and think you'll be taken aback.

SunnySunnyDayz · 06/06/2026 21:14

What are you expected to respond with?

CaptainMyCaptain · 06/06/2026 21:12

It depends what you mean by 'don't care'. Do you mean it doesn't matter what their sexual preferences are (which is what I assumed from the OP) or you are just not interested (in which case I'll change my vote).

LindorDoubleChoc · 06/06/2026 21:12

Why don't you care? Do you actually like either of your children?

Mt563 · 06/06/2026 21:09

They clearly thought it important to tell you, so I think you should at least pretend to care a little for their sake.

CatamaranViper · 06/06/2026 21:06

DeeLasVegas · 06/06/2026 21:01

Would that be the same if told that they are heterosexual? Honestly i couldn’t care less what my kids were, nor am I interested in their sex lives 🤷🏻‍♀️

Show quote history

It's not just their sex lives. As in it's not that part of their life they might been support with.

It's how people react to them going on a simple date with their partner. It's whether they can happily hold hands with them as they walk down the street. It's whether they always feel they need to "pre-warn" people about who their partner is before they meet them.

Being bi is shite. Everyone assumes youre in denial if you date someone of the same sex or that you're lying if you dare someone of the opposite sex. Bi-eraser is very real and difficult to navigate.

Sometimes people just want some support from their loved ones

ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/06/2026 21:04

DeeLasVegas · 06/06/2026 21:01

Would that be the same if told that they are heterosexual? Honestly i couldn’t care less what my kids were, nor am I interested in their sex lives 🤷🏻‍♀️

Show quote history

If your kids make a point of telling you something that’s a big deal to them, then you should be interested to an extent shouldn’t you? Why would you just not give a shit about things they choose to tell you?

Screamingabdabz · 06/06/2026 21:02

I’ve always said that my adult children’s sex life is none of my business - so I would say the same. I don’t care about their sexuality, I only care about them and their well-being.

jdb9803 · 06/06/2026 21:01

Seems strange they both tell you within an hour - they must have discussed it.
Could they be worried about how you would react to do it at the same time and by text

DeeLasVegas · 06/06/2026 21:01

ThisAmpleCritic · 06/06/2026 20:56

YABU that you are not interested in your children’s lives.

Would that be the same if told that they are heterosexual? Honestly i couldn’t care less what my kids were, nor am I interested in their sex lives 🤷🏻‍♀️

GettingFestiveNow · 06/06/2026 21:00

Did you 'thumbs up' the messages?

TheBlueKoala · 06/06/2026 20:59

Not unreasonable. I would just be a bit curious about the timing and why they felt they needed to tell you. Their sex life is private and why not wait until they meet someone special they want to bring home before telling you.

ThisAmpleCritic · 06/06/2026 20:56

YABU that you are not interested in your children’s lives.

TheWineoftheChicken · 06/06/2026 20:48

Well it depends what you mean. If you mean ‘I don’t care, I’ll support them and love them regardless’ then YANBU. If you mean ‘I don’t care, I wash my hands of them’ then YABU.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/06/2026 20:46

Depends what you mean by ‘don’t care’