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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to tell my seven-year-old his birthday present in advance?

81 replies

Enjoyingmyicecream · 06/06/2026 14:30

It's my son's 7th birthday next week. I have a very weird situation - he doesn't like surprises and is crying on and off as he wants to know what his present is. I mean sobbing and shouting. He doesn't want the present now, but he hates surprises and wants to know what it is. AIBU to tell him??

OP posts:
Original poster
Enjoyingmyicecream · 06/06/2026 14:45

Thank you all so much. That's the thing- I understand all points! I'm thinking why make him anxious but also he needs to learn to wait....so I can see sense for both arguments!

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 06/06/2026 14:44

I would tell. My DD has high levels of anxiety about her birthday for various reasons. I tell her what her main gift will be. If there’s something my kids have asked for that I know I can’t get them I’ll tell them that too. Birthdays should be fun, not a source of anxiety and not a “life lesson” opportunity.

Fortheloveofpenguins · 06/06/2026 14:40

Could you get him a small extra gift, tell him what that is and see if he’s then calmer?

HisNotHes · 06/06/2026 14:36

No don’t tell him, he needs to learn to be able to deal with the unexpected.

I’d have a chat and explore the issue further with him to find out what exactly he’s worried about and why it’s upsetting him (maybe he’s worried about being disappointed, for example).
Ultimately point out that you only want good things for him and there will always be things that happen which are surprising or unexpected but there are ways to deal with this and the more we practise unfamiliar situations, the easier it becomes.

Studyunder · 06/06/2026 14:34

Tell him then he waits for it, simples. Why create drama and upset. It’s his birthday and you know you’re upsetting him already. So why drag it out? He’s going to see what it is eventually!

custardscream · 06/06/2026 14:31

Tell him!

I dislike surprises, even ‘nice’ ones - especially if they are revealed in front of other people and a reaction is required.

(I suspect I am also ND)

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