Would you move? Or not? I’m so torn need to decide asap

We moved when the children were 4 and 7. We gained an extra bedroom which Dh used as his office to wfh a decade before Covid. We gained a double garage which we converted into a giant playroom with a whole wall of storage to be able to put everything away. The children already had their own rooms at the last house but the last house had a lounge open to the dining room and the stairs were off the lounge so we had children running around.

This house has a separate dining room and lounge plus that playroom. We gained a drive large enough for 3 cars, the last one only had space for one. The playroom meant Ds2 could be playing in there whilst Ds1 who was at secondary could do his homework with his laptop in the dining room away from the noise of his 8 year old brother. Think ahead as to how this will look with all children adult sized. As I have sons they were adult sized at 13/14.

How it is now, Ds1 graduated uni and is living at home and working from home 3 days a week. We divided the playroom in half so each child has their own gaming room study. Ds2 is away at uni but when home he is doing his uni work in his study. That space means they are not just holed up in their bedrooms. Their bedrooms as a place to sleep. Both my sons drive but don't have a car yet. But if they did they would need somewhere to park their car.

We bought this house because we knew it would grow with us and our changing needs. Always plan ahead, we moved originally for a secondary school place, we just jumped early as the right house came up.

As your kids get to puberty your existing house will soon feel (to) small I think especially if you have one with additional needs.

A drive is a huge plus. Especially once your DC start becoming more independent/learning to drive.
Although you've got the emotional attachment to the house via your parents would they have wanted you to stay for ever?

Sounds like you are mortgage free now/will be if you moved

If you haven't even put your own house up for sale you are a looooooong way from being in a process le position, unless the market is red hit where you are. So you might be in for a bit of a slog.

Put your house up for sale and keep looking.

It sounds like it’s a rare opportunity that ticks all the boxes (less the unknowns about the neighbours), and you would need to move at some stage.

The drive way and individual bedrooms would clinch it for me I think, but I understand how emotionally difficult it would be moving. Would you be selling/buying?

You need to look to the future, particularly if one of your sons is ASD.

Movement helps self regulation. Can the new garden have a trampoline without irking neighbours?

Puberty. Will your sons still be able to share a room? Probably not.

Re ASD son. I know it’s early days but do you think he might or might not live independently and to what degree? Will the new, larger garden allow space for an annex for your son if the need becomes apparent?

Parking. After a week of easy parking, you won’t know yourself.

I know your sons share a room now but what happens if DD doesn’t go to university elsewhere?

I would bite the bullet and get the move done now while a good option is available.

piqued

Definitely move for the bedrooms. Autistic teenage boys sharing a bedroom is not an experience you want if it can be avoided !

You are talking about the new house as if it’s the only other one available in town. Why is it the only option?
Maybe if you found a different house, with a bigger kitchen and in a better part of town you’d think it more worthwhile to move?

You’ve just had your kitchen redone 2 months ago. So what changed between then and now? You must have been pretty happy just 2 months ago if you were spending money on the kitchen.

I think I’d move. BUT how secure are your jobs? Would it six months of reduced income influence your decision?

I would definitely move without hesitation but then I’ve never been overly sentimental about houses. You need the extra space and 100% a driveway.

We moved for a driveway a garden and more internal space. Love the new house and garden. It sounds like you are going to have to move anyway at some point….. none of the negatives you have listed will change really.

Can you extend or do a basement/loft conversion and improve your driveway access? Possibly not much more than the cost of moving.

I think I'd want to move just for the parking.
Kids having their own rooms would be great too.

I'd move. Keeping the same neighbours were you live now isn't guaranteed, people move on so that isn't a good reason to stay.
Once the DC go to secondary school they're likely to branch out from friendships on their street anyway.
I have a drive and could not go back to not having one, it makes a huge difference.
Teenagers having their own bedroom is a huge positive, especially in these times where they often live at home well into their 20s.
Moving can be difficult for autistic children, best to do it whilst he is young and before he has to deal with the challenges secondary school are likely to bring (if in mainstream that is).
I think it could actually be positive to have a house for memories for your own family only, if you move that will be the home that you and DH create and build memories in together as independent adults.

There'll be hidden costs in the new house

Once you start decorating you'll unearth issues. There's always underlying issues or updating needed if a house looks like it just needs re decorating.

I would be extremely reluctant to move if I could in any way make "happy house" last for longer.

I don't know what you want to call it but vibes/feels/spirits of a house can make or break your life there

I've been in great on paper houses that had forever potential, but never felt like home

Looks like a good move

Can you extend at some time? Preferable to giving money to estate agents, even the few good ones, and I doubt solicitors are short of work.

Own driveway and believe me, teens need more space. It’s really helpful to have two social spaces downstairs if you are strict about gaming and tvs etc

If the house you are thinking of moving to is bigger, has a bigger back garden and its own driveway and is in the same town, yet still the same price as the one you’re in, then what’s the catch? Is it cheaper due to being in a less pleasant area? Or is your current home overpriced? Renting or owned?

I would move no question,your kids need the extra space,and you need space for your cars, I think unless I actually depended on my neighbours for something,childcare for instance,then like a pp said they can change, perhaps do a bit of surreptitious snooping re neighbours at your proposed new location, because bad ones really can make life a misery.