Ex partner won't come to hospital for miscarriage

I'm so sorry, it’s horrific, but he’s not the one to support you. He’s probably glad you are miscarrying as then he won’t have a tie to you, and he can carry on shagging women from online websites.
You need proper support, from those who LOVE you.

Try to let him go OP. Your relationship is over. Maybe call a friend or family member to go with you.

It’s over… and he isn’t willing to be responsible for you even though it was his child. Try to come to terms with that. I’m so sorry.

It’s hard but with recent events he the last person you need there or should of asked

going through ex phone was completely the wrong thing to do

I'm so deeply confused about why you'd want him to be there and why you're checking his phone.

@BlueSlate you are welcome to your view..That's fine..I'm also welcome to mine.

He should want to be there for you, after 9 years, even if you’re not together anymore. But the fact he doesn’t means that you have 100% made the right decision not to be together anymore, and you don’t have to EVER question that.
I hope you have someone who can go with you and actually be supportive.

You were not unreasonable to hope but probably unreasonable to expect him to attend considering the speed with which he moved onto another woman.

Put him behind you and focus on your existing friends and making new friends. That will serve you better long term.

Don't be silly.

Other posters are right. He is not her person anymore. She might be hurting about the end of the relationship now on top of everything else but it doesn't make it apppropriate for him to accompany her and it certainly wasn't appropriate for her to look through his phone and berate him for moving on when he asked if she wanted to try again and she said no.

He was supportive to her when they were together but he has put a boundary in place now and it is appropriate for him to do that.

I can think of a few reasons why he wouldn't want to be there and being completely heartless would be only one of them.

I'm so sorry OP. He's shown himself to be cruel and shallow and uncaring. You deserve better. Take someone else with you to support you. Cut contact with him and look after yourself 💐

He’d be the very last person I’d want there if I were you and I would not have asked him.
sorry you are going through this but I think you need someone with you who is actually a part of your life and future not your past.

I’m sorry to hear about your miscarriage, and hope you get the support you need.

You told your ex that you did not want him to be part of your life which is reason enough for him to want to detach completely.

Because he is processing this differently to you!
He is installing boundaries that it is over and he doesn't think it is his place to support you now.
Yes that is hard. You need to Concentrate on you now.

In your shoes I wouldn't have asked him. I've seen that you've bolded for emphasis that it's his baby too, and of course, but the situation is muddied by asking him.

Some people have no heart. They have a cold hard stone in their chests. Hope you have a good friend who you can ask . Take care x

Agreed. This is not his job, regardless of him being the dad. He gave you the option of getting back together, you said no and he moved on. Sure it was quick but you both made your choice. You need support for you and that should be from someone who cares about you.

Sorry for your loss tho he asked if wanted to get back together and you said no - so he’s moved on.

I’m sorry I know it’s hard, but he is not your partner, the fact the child was his does not change this. You’re better with someone else there. It can’t be him.

Gently you’re being hugely unreasonable. The relationship is over. He is wirh someone else. It is no longer his role to support you in this, take a friend or family member,

and do not go through his phone, this is really unacceptable he is no longer your partner and is free to see who he wishes.

So, I totally understand why you’re upset. He’s supported you before, it’s safe and comforting for him to be there.

BUT-
I think it’s wiser that it isn’t him. It would blur the boundaries between you, it would be really easy to reignite a relationship, because of safety and familiarity.
It’s easy to say he’s a prick not to help, but he may be right not to. Things have changed, you don’t want him back. It’s safer not to blur the boundaries.

im sorry for what you are going through. 💐

He is your ex. It’s not his job to support you emotionally.

He supported you before because he was your boyfriend.

I would find it more stressful having an ex there.

He’s unlikely to show emotion because he’s emotionally and physically detached from you and moved on. You need someone who isn’t going to piss you off and remind you of why you broke up and makes things harder.

As a man he can’t carry babies so it’s easy for him to be detached about a miscarriage. Even if he’d come, he would piss you off by not being or wanting to be there for you afterwards. You need someone who isn’t going to support you rather than someone who will clock watch and go to his date if things take longer than he fancies.

You broke up. You didn’t want to try again when you were pregnant.
At this point - it’s all too raw and dramatic for you both being rational and supportive friends.
It’s a medical procedure - and you can make it like some point to prove - but why?
This clearly was not a planned pregnancy, so why have someone there who cant relate to your emotions and be supportive?

You are being unreasonable to want to spend a single second within 100km of him! Ever!

Sorry you’re going through this, but he was already an ex for a reason. He’d be a shit person and clearly no emotional support for you at all.