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Dh cutting flowers off tree

247 replies

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 12:27

Just heard Dh chopping things away in the back garden, assumed was the hedges which do need doing, but it was a beautiful, blossoming tree with pink flowers. It’s the gorgeous one I sit and look at in the evening if I sit outside, I can (well, could) just about see it when sat inside in the dining room, it’s gorgeous and gives off a lovely smell, i’d also put a string of lights around it
Went out to ask what he was doing as branches of flowers tumbling to the ground. He said it’s gardening and has to be done? Is this correct? I don’t know much about gardening tbh, but all I can see is a few flowers left on a spiky sort of tree, when previously it was big and blossoming 😔

OP posts:
SqueakyFromme · 06/06/2026 14:41

I had no idea it was toxic

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 14:40

LegallyBlondish · 06/06/2026 14:39

OP - I hope you have taken notice of this post. It is extremely toxic. Please look it up. It is beautiful, but I wouldn't want it in my garden, even if I could grow it in the UK.

They’re everywhere where we are, had it for years, never a problem

OP posts:
MonsterasEverywhere · 06/06/2026 14:39

It certainly won't grow back in two weeks. It mostly likely won't flower again until next year, and depending on how much he cut back, it may not flower well next year either. The branches will take some time to grow back.

LegallyBlondish · 06/06/2026 14:39

MissMoneyFairy · 06/06/2026 14:33

If its oleander then it's very toxic, I hope he wore gloves and is disposing it safely, you do not want it in the house. It was a stupid thing to do but I wouldn't want it in my garden.

OP - I hope you have taken notice of this post. It is extremely toxic. Please look it up. It is beautiful, but I wouldn't want it in my garden, even if I could grow it in the UK.

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 14:38

Elliania · 06/06/2026 14:36

In that case the advice might be different. As a tip for the future if you want gardening advice then photos definitely help as does your location/climate that sort of thing.

I’m reluctant to post a pic as it shows my garden

OP posts:
Elliania · 06/06/2026 14:36

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 14:34

I’m not in the uk

In that case the advice might be different. As a tip for the future if you want gardening advice then photos definitely help as does your location/climate that sort of thing.

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 14:34

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 06/06/2026 14:33

Oleander isn’t usually frost hardy in the uk. Unless you’re somewhere really sheltered.

I’m not in the uk

OP posts:
MissMoneyFairy · 06/06/2026 14:34

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 14:32

I said above though

I'd still post a photo but be very careful handling it

midlifeattheoasis · 06/06/2026 14:34

Your husband sounds like an absolute twat. Who on earth cuts back anything that’s in flower? You don’t have to be a gardener to work this out OP

I’m angry on your behalf

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 14:33

He’s just said it needed to be done as ants and green fly everywhere and that it will grow back in two weeks….?! Will it?!
Then got defensive and said I can do it all then

OP posts:
MissMoneyFairy · 06/06/2026 14:33

If its oleander then it's very toxic, I hope he wore gloves and is disposing it safely, you do not want it in the house. It was a stupid thing to do but I wouldn't want it in my garden.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 06/06/2026 14:33

Oleander isn’t usually frost hardy in the uk. Unless you’re somewhere really sheltered.

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 14:32

squashyhat · 06/06/2026 14:31

We need to know what it is!

I said above though

OP posts:
squashyhat · 06/06/2026 14:31

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 14:22

Any experts on here who can tell me when it will grow back 🙏

We need to know what it is!

godmum56 · 06/06/2026 14:27

busyd4y · 06/06/2026 14:25

I think you're being rather naive, who does an unintentional unnecessary thing that they know will sadden the other person

Even if you know nothing about gardening you'd have to be pretty stupid to think cutting something beautiful in flower was the number one job to do

Does he generally dislike you?

I agree with this.

Elliania · 06/06/2026 14:26

In fact if he's REALLY hacked at it (and I'm not an expert but my friend is a gardener) he could have potentially killed it. Oleanders need gentle pruning because they're not really trees, they're over large shrubs that can grow to look like trees.

SqueakyFromme · 06/06/2026 14:25

You should call him Incapability Brown from now on

busyd4y · 06/06/2026 14:25

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 12:42

He responded like that because he knows i’m pissed off about it
He wouldn’t have done it intentionally just has no idea what he’s doing and thinks he does!

I think you're being rather naive, who does an unintentional unnecessary thing that they know will sadden the other person

Even if you know nothing about gardening you'd have to be pretty stupid to think cutting something beautiful in flower was the number one job to do

Does he generally dislike you?

PinkyFlamingo · 06/06/2026 14:25

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 12:39

Exactly! When is after flowering usually? It’s ruined, honestly so upset, know that’s ridiculous. Bin bags full of beautiful, full pink flowers

Has he done it on purpose to upset you?

Elliania · 06/06/2026 14:23

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 14:22

Any experts on here who can tell me when it will grow back 🙏

It will depend how much he's cut off but you probably won't get flowers until next year at the earliest. How long it'll take for the branches to grow back will depend on how big they were and how he pruned them potentially.

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 14:22

Any experts on here who can tell me when it will grow back 🙏

OP posts:
Nofeckingway · 06/06/2026 14:21

Leave The Tree Killing Bastard .

godmum56 · 06/06/2026 14:19

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 14:14

The part I wait for to come

well oleander is poisonous so with luck it will get its revenge.

Lazydayathome · 06/06/2026 14:14

The part I wait for to come

OP posts:
Womanofcustard · 06/06/2026 14:13

My DH is not allowed to do pruning, except under my direction!