AIBU to ask family to keep vegan takeaway dishes separate?

I suppose next time you could put a serving spoon in each dish?

Some people are very ignorant. Out of respect, if I go to a vegan household I wouldn't order a meat dish but at the very least people should keep their spoons separate!

I'd have rolled my eyes and thought it was all a bit precious, but I wouldn't have said anything.
If it was an allergy, absolutely no problem. But what dials down to a simple preference... Bit daft imo.

Yeah, using their own fork's even worse - even taking the meat/vegan bit out of it, why would you add your slobber to it?! 🤢😂
I'm no germaphobe but that's rank and bad table manners.

I dislike mixing up serving utensils for any reason. One dish, one serving spoon that stays with that dish. I don’t want a bit of your king prawn phall in my butter chicken, thankyouverymuch. As for using the fork you’ve been eating with to delve around in a shared dish, that's revolting and extremely poor table manners.

No YANBU. How disrespectful that they would help themselves to your food with their fork that had been in their mouth- regardless of it having had meat on it. Gross. The fact that it had meat on it is even worse considering you are vegan.

They ruined in the evening not you.

Eh?
I'm not vegan, I eat meat but it's not that hard to understand - it's not about any additional animals dying, they just don't want meat juice or whatever in their food!

Apart from the ludicrous disrespect being shown to vegans, it's absolutely disgusting for people to put their used forks into various dishes and spread the germs between themselves. It's extremely poor manners and very unhygienic. Let's hope none of them has herpes 😉

I'm not vegan, but know people who are.
Perfectly reasonable request. They're the ones being dicks and ruining the mood, not you.

Why have you put vegan in inverted commas?

Do you need a lesson in punctuation?

There is no suggestion anyone was lecturing anyone else.

It's just clearly polite to not contaminate someone's vegan food with your meat food. Not precious. Easy to do and respectful.

Where did you order from? I love vegan Indian food.

Pp: Put serving spoons in the dishes. Use the spoon that’s in the dish. No problem.

OP: I did exactly that but people started using their own forks going from one to another instead of the ones I had put with each dish, which is when I asked they didn’t put meat forks in the vegan food.

@Duckiewasthefirstniceguy From the OP’s description, my imagined script is more like ‘I don’t want that spoon touching my bhajis because you have just used it to serve the prawn fried rice / there’s a bit of Masala sauce left on it’.

I may be wrong and the OPs family were trying to scoop up her dhal with the spoon they’d literally just swallowed chicken curry from, or that they are actively mixing spoonfuls of lamb bhuna into the bombay aloo, which I would agree is disgusting but not only because of the vegan issue!

Telling your own family you are vegan is ridiculous? Wow.

Why are you so sensitive about someone making a different choice to you?

it is, and surely that should be enough.

Having to make the point that you are special because you want to eat "vegan" is ridiculous.

WTF! Setting aside OP's perfectly valid objection not to have forks used to eat meat being shoved into her vegan food, it's really unhygienic to put cutlery that has been in other people's mouths into somone else's food. I'd be pissed off if someone did this to the food on my plate without asking, even if we were both eating meat. It's rude and bad-mannered.

As for your nonsense about the 'cost' of guests having basic manners and your bizarre accusation that OP is only doing this due to her need to maintain a certain image of herself, it's obviously so wide of the mark that I can't believe that you could write it without cringing.

It’s basic cooking skills to only use the utensil for tasting once. I would feel ill if people were dipping a spit fork on food, even on a child’s birthday cake, no thanks.

You think ‘please use the serving spoons I’ve provided and don’t double dip’ is over the top? 😂

No, of course not. I’m in charge of Christmas breakfast. I cook for the vegans separately and have a smaller table for the vegan food.
I don’t like eating meat either but not a vegan, I’ll eat it occasionally.

No, it’s apparently ‘policing your actions to fit in with one persons desire for how things should work…for her own image of herself’.

Some people are quite unhinged.

They really do walk amongst us.

The ‘cost’ you are describing is that of not doing something you shouldn’t be doing in the first place. You shouldn’t double dip. That is the social expectation, basic etiquette, standard practice. It is polite. It is not difficult to grasp, and (at time of writing) 92% of the people responding to this thread understand that. Using the serving spoons provided isn’t a hardship or ‘one persons desire for how things should work’ or ‘a change in behaviour that she's demanding solely for her own image of herself’. It’s perfectly normal behaviour.

The fact that if you would do this if you weren’t explicitly asked not to, indicates that you are lacking in social awareness and ignorant of the above. The fact that you’ve needed this so comprehensively explained to you…let’s just say it’s not indicative of a great intellect.

So, yes, spot on.

I absolutely hate people cross contaminating with utensils but people do it all the time. It’s actually insane that they can’t see the issue.

It’s basic table manners to have a utensil in each food container that you use solely to put food from that container on your plate.

My private opinion is that your request is over the top, I absolutely see the point with allergies, but with personal preference it just seems precious.
However, it is just that - a Private opinion - I wouldn’t actually argue or allow it to spoil the evening.