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AIBU?

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AIBU to ask family to keep vegan takeaway dishes separate?

462 replies

TakeawayRow · 05/06/2026 18:31

Last weekend we got an Indian takeaway with family who were visiting. Everyone chose their food and I ordered it.

Some people decided they wanted to try others food, everyone was ok with that but I asked that people didn’t use the same utensils for the vegan dishes and meat dishes because I’m vegan and didn’t want meat in my food.

I thought this was a normal, fair and easy request but a couple of my family members started saying I was being over the top and asking what I thought would happen if some meat got in my food. I said I didn’t want to eat meat or animal products, even tiny amount, not that I thought anything would happen. They accused me of ruining the evening. I didn’t. I asked them, they caused a fuss, I explained my reasons and then carried on with the night. Everyone else got on with the night but these 2 spent the evening making sarcastic comments towards me and ignoring me at times.

Would you have had an issue with using separate utensils to put some of the vegan food on your plate, would you have seen it as ‘over the top’ or just been courteous and used different utensils with no fuss?

We are seeing this family member again next month. Lucky us. We will likely get a takeaway again and I’m thinking of just saying hands off and no one can try mine. 😬

OP posts:
gamerchick · 05/06/2026 19:01

I'm of the mind of why should you give any of yours up when you can't have anyone else's?

I can't stand the taste of everything crowd though. Gets on me tit ends a bit

GlenLegend · 05/06/2026 19:01

I'm not vegan, vegetarian or have any allergies but i wouldn't want utensils been shared across dishes, especially dishes with sauces. A spoon goes in each dish.

TakeawayRow · 05/06/2026 19:00

Callmeback · 05/06/2026 18:57

Sorry but I do think you were a bit over the top. It's not like any additional animals died. No extra animals suffered because you used someone's spoon to share out some dahl.

It’s not about that. I don’t want to eat animal products and it was easy for them to make sure I didn’t have to and still share the food. I wasn’t asking the to do anything difficult or time consuming, just use a different fork.

OP posts:
MajorSamanthaCarter · 05/06/2026 18:59

God, meat eaters can be right twunts 🙄

Roomonthe3rdfloor · 05/06/2026 18:59

Im not vegan or veggie and would have zero problem with using separate utensils, I can’t see why it’s an issue at all, they were being very rude.

RumJerrySailorRum · 05/06/2026 18:58

WTF?
Who mixes serving spoons anyway?

YANBU

Let's not even mention allergies......of which i have none as a happy meat/animal product earing person!

WhatYouWearing · 05/06/2026 18:57

ilikeachallenge · 05/06/2026 18:50

It’s the smugness for me.

I wouldn’t sit and lecture a vegan about my choice to eat meat. So why does a vegan get to lecture me?

Just to use a different fucking spoon? Are you taking the piss?

Callmeback · 05/06/2026 18:57

Sorry but I do think you were a bit over the top. It's not like any additional animals died. No extra animals suffered because you used someone's spoon to share out some dahl.

MissMoneyFairy · 05/06/2026 18:56

Viviennemary · 05/06/2026 18:50

It was a bit precious. I don't think I'd be in a hurry to eat with you again.

Precious? Do you understand why using utensils with meat on them is offensive and completely inappropriate. I'd order my own veg dishes, put them on my plate and if the meatiest want to try some id leave a bit behind in the dish or they can order veg side dishes for themselves

iseenyouwithkefir · 05/06/2026 18:56

It is an absolutely normal, fair, and easy request and you made it up front and very politely; it's not like you kept silent and then yelled at them for mixing after they did it. Even if it had somehow been unusual or surprising to them how could it possibly have ruined THEIR evening? They weren't the ones at risk of having their food made inedible for them. It's especially weird and antisocial for them to go after you like that when they're guests in your house.

I wouldn't host them again, or if you absolutely must make sure there is ONLY vegan food available.

BlueMum16 · 05/06/2026 18:56

YANBU. Would they have been more considerate if it was an allergy issue.

What selfish people.

Next time don't share.

Error404FucksNotFound · 05/06/2026 18:55

I dont think you are unreasonable.
Its not a lot to to for someone ensure they can eat their meal.

In future maybe just dont share they can't do something as simple as use separate utensils.

00K · 05/06/2026 18:55

I actually feel like it’s become more acceptable to be outspoken and rude about vegans in the same way that it seems to have become more acceptable to be racist and sexist over the last two to three years. I’m sad for the people who wanted the world to be a better place

TakeawayRow · 05/06/2026 18:55

ilikeachallenge · 05/06/2026 18:50

It’s the smugness for me.

I wouldn’t sit and lecture a vegan about my choice to eat meat. So why does a vegan get to lecture me?

Smugness? Lectures? I paid for everyone’s food and said nothing other than please keep utensils separate.

OP posts:
RedTulip86 · 05/06/2026 18:53

HedgehogsOnTheWall · 05/06/2026 18:43

I would have thought it was OTT and a teeny bit precious but I would have done it without making a fuss.

OP doesn’t eat meat and doesn’t want her food contaminated. Nothing precious about that.

Her family was rude,inconsiderate and patronising.

I’m a meat eater btw.

TakeawayRow · 05/06/2026 18:53

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 05/06/2026 18:50

Put serving spoons in the dishes. Use the spoon that’s in the dish. No problem.
I’d also put the veggie things at one end with a gap, for extra safety. People are weird and take other’s lifestyle as an accusation against them.

I did exactly that but people started using their own forks going from one to another instead of the ones I had put with each dish, which is when I asked they didn’t put meat forks in the vegan food.

OP posts:
00K · 05/06/2026 18:51

ilikeachallenge · 05/06/2026 18:50

It’s the smugness for me.

I wouldn’t sit and lecture a vegan about my choice to eat meat. So why does a vegan get to lecture me?

Who was being smug? Did she say she was smug or did she just ask if separate cutlery could be used ?

concertinacornflake · 05/06/2026 18:51

ilikeachallenge · 05/06/2026 18:50

It’s the smugness for me.

I wouldn’t sit and lecture a vegan about my choice to eat meat. So why does a vegan get to lecture me?

No one is lecturing anyone. They're just asking for their food not to contain meat.

TakeawayRow · 05/06/2026 18:51

Viviennemary · 05/06/2026 18:50

It was a bit precious. I don't think I'd be in a hurry to eat with you again.

Hopefully you are my relatives and will decide against visiting us again then and problem solved. 😂

OP posts:
concertinacornflake · 05/06/2026 18:50

HedgehogsOnTheWall · 05/06/2026 18:43

I would have thought it was OTT and a teeny bit precious but I would have done it without making a fuss.

I don't understand this. It's been normal for decades to respect vegetarian or vegan diets.

It's not precious at all, just routine respect for other people.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 05/06/2026 18:50

Put serving spoons in the dishes. Use the spoon that’s in the dish. No problem.
I’d also put the veggie things at one end with a gap, for extra safety. People are weird and take other’s lifestyle as an accusation against them.

ilikeachallenge · 05/06/2026 18:50

WhatYouWearing · 05/06/2026 18:46

Would you say the same if it was an allergy? Vegans don’t want dead flesh in their stomach. Anyone who disrespects that is an inconsiderate c*nt.

It’s the smugness for me.

I wouldn’t sit and lecture a vegan about my choice to eat meat. So why does a vegan get to lecture me?

Viviennemary · 05/06/2026 18:50

It was a bit precious. I don't think I'd be in a hurry to eat with you again.

RosewaterMadeleines · 05/06/2026 18:47

You’re not in the least unreasonable! I’m vegetarian and will often get an Indian takeaway with friends. No one would use the same utensils across meat and vegetarian dishes.

WhatYouWearing · 05/06/2026 18:46

HedgehogsOnTheWall · 05/06/2026 18:43

I would have thought it was OTT and a teeny bit precious but I would have done it without making a fuss.

Would you say the same if it was an allergy? Vegans don’t want dead flesh in their stomach. Anyone who disrespects that is an inconsiderate c*nt.

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