AIBU to ask family to keep vegan takeaway dishes separate?

Please don’t tell me they have been eating from the forks that they are then dipping into other peoples food? That’s really grim if so, I would be keeping my dish separate just for that reason 🤢

You’re not being unreasonable AT ALL and I can’t believe anyone thinks you are.

I’m a vegetarian and would really dislike anyone putting their meat spoons in my veggie dishes. No one I know would do that or think I was being weird asking them not to.

Also, meat eaters who think the OP is being unreasonable, no one is judging you for your diet choices but they are for your hygiene ones. Meat / vegan / whatever - don’t put your used forks or spoons in shared food!!

It’s a bit previous for a non-medical diet, but it is a simple request so no reason not to just nod and move on. They were rude.

I have to ask for careful separation for allergies. No one but the people I actually live with take it seriously enough. They don’t understand the quick second or the tiny spill means the dish is now truly off limits, even in a survival situation. I don’t tend to get enough to eat at extended family meals.

They're actually contaminating everyone else's food in this case, putting the forks they've had in their mouths into other people's serving dishes. I'm not vegan and I'm judging that unhygienic disgusting behaviour.

I wouldn’t sit and lecture a vegan about my choice to eat meat. So why does a vegan get to lecture me?

Do you know what? In general, people who eat a vegan diet do NOT want to be singled out as different. They do NOT want to have to ask questions about what ingredient is in what. They don't want to have to scour the menu to find something they can eat, and they certainly don't want to make a fuss.
Some clear indications on menus would help.

I recently had a birthday celebration and chose a restaurant we wanted to try.
Two of my family are vegan. Perusing the online menu I saw that there was nothing vegan on there. I rang the (expensive) restaurant and asked if there was a suitable dish for them that I could arrange in advance.

No, they said, but when you arrive we can send the chef out to discuss with them what they would like to eat.

Fuck NO!! Thrice NO!! They'd be mortified! 12 people there and the chef has to pop out and leave his kitchen duties to negotiate with dd and son in law what this troublesome couple might be happy to eat?

Just have ONE vegan dish on there, anything, something that comes out of the freezer, they'd be happy with ANYTHING, even if it was the only choice, providing they didn't have to make any fuss about it.

Obviously didn't book that restaurant, had to just resort to our local pub who have 4 vegan choices of vegan fish (quorn) and chips bean chilli, and a moussaka made with plant based creamy stuff, plus a a Beyond Burger with Onion rings and chips and all the accoutrements.

I mean, the birthday bill was less than £300 (yes, I'm one of those folks who pay for my birthday guests) whereas the posh restaurant might have cost me double that. They did pay for their own drinks though.

It’s really not that bloody hard. Anyone making a big deal of using a separate spoon is being an arse. It would have not impacted them at all.

Also… I’ve been thinking about when we get a takeaway for a bigger group and we tend to always have individual serving spoons out for each dish so there wouldn’t be any double dipping of cutlery or mixing of dishes anyway. If someone had a dietary preference then they absolutely shouldn’t have their dish mixed with others.

As a meat eater i agree with you
Its really not a difficult concept to grasp why vegetarians and vegans dont want their utensils contaminated with animal products

Yes of course it's reasonable, my husband hates fish, not allergic but can't stand the thought of it. Noone would bat an eye if he said please don't contaminate my food with the fish serving utensils.

I don't know why people treat vegans with such disdain, it's not as if you banned meat from the table, you just don't want any of it contaminating your food. If one person had a dish of dog or horse meat I expect those at the table would suddenly understand the concept of not wanting to accidentally get a scrap of cooked dog flesh or dog meat juice in their meal if they liked dogs.

I am absolutely not vegan but thnk your request is totally fine and they were rude to contaminate your food.

YADNBU. I've had 30 years of this, there are some really pig-ignorant (pun intended) meat eaters out there that don't get it and never will.

What is wrong with you? Someone who doesn’t eat meat didn’t want others putting meat in their food and that’s over the top? Are people actually this thick or just so incredibly selfish and inconsiderate?

By that metric OP might as well shove chicken in her face. And Jews and Muslims may as well just have a bit of pork. And Hindus a smidgen of cow. Since it apparently makes no difference.

Don't be stupid.

OP: It's a shame you even had to ask. I wouldn't let them try any next time.

Totally normal thing to ask, I’ve seen and done this plenty of times with veggie / vegan friends and family.

I also know people who wouldn’t like the idea of someone else’s fork in the shared food vegan or not - it’s the whole point of serving spoons.

No need for them to make a fuss over this!

Also non of seems fair on the Op
She has one dish to eat and everbody wants a taste of it
She cant try other peoples dishes here due to being a vegan this seems very unfair

No you are not being unreasonable I work as a promoter for a lot of food brands. I’ve had to do all my food certification etc and when I an doing a vegan alternative for people to try as well as something with meat in I have to be really careful none of the utensils , chopping boards and saucepans are used for both, also not allowed on the same plate . The food industry takes it seriously why shouldn’t everyone and I’m not vegan

This, the only way this situation YAU would be if you meant NO MEAT IN THE SAME ROOM AS ME!! you’re asking for basic hygiene from them, they are total grim arseholes!

You need a special fork OP so that you can stab them in the back of their nasty, grabby, meaty little hands whenever they come near your food.

I'm not vegan, or vegetarian but I'd have thought it was common courtesy not to use the same utensils.

They sound like they just wanted to pick an argument around you not being a meat eater.

Because they are thick and socially unaware.

You’re spectacularly missing the point 😳

I actually went to look up a definition of veganism to decide what I thought about OP's situation. Because OP started by saying she's vegan, so I presumed she follows the statements of the (British)(*) vegan society, who say

"Veganism is a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude – as far as is possible and practicable – all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, ... In dietary terms it denotes the practice of dispensing with all products derived wholly or partly from animals."

(*)I do know some people who call themselves vegan who don't subscribe to the V.Society beliefs, but I started by supposing OP did agree with all that.

Having special fork status in a busy shared dishes environment doesn't sound very practical, so I'm not convinced that OP was being practical. OP also said that it makes her feel sick to think of eating meat products... not being able to enjoy her food is more relatable than declaring if it's practical to decontaminate forks. I think OP should have gone more with that line about "I just can't stand idea of eating it".

If a fussy eater person paid for my meal & asked me to do what OP asked, I'd go along with it for sure, btw. Sounds like OP has resolved her future strategy which is good.

How is it performative?
The Op is a vegan and therefor doesnt want to eat animsl products at all
I dont know why this is such a difficult concept for people to grasp

But they did mix their serving spoons. So what’s your point?

Bollocks. “Cross-contamination” is simply a technical term.

Granted, it probably has a few too many syllables for the kind of people OP is dealing with. Maybe “Don’t get no meat n shit in my food, yeah bruv?” would be more digestible?